adoption? i am 14 and am pregnat should i put my baby up for adoption because my parents want me to.plz help?
Rg asked:
i am 14 and am pregnat should i put my baby up for adoption because my parents want me to. please help. please
This entry was posted
on Sunday, May 31st, 2009 at 12:00 am and is filed under Adoption.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
i am 14 and am pregnat should i put my baby up for adoption because my parents want me to. please help. please
June 3rd, 2009 at 11:54 am
Of course in the end, the choice is yours, but when you make that choice you have to think about how it will affect other people, and yourself.
Keeping the child would pretty much scupper your chances at a normal childhood - something that you only get one shot at. Also, it would mean that getting a good education would be much harder for you and this will make EVERYTHING else in life much harder. Education is freedom!
If you fail to receive a proper education because you have a child, that will have a knock-on effect on the child - without proper education, it’s much harder to find work and work = money. Without money, how will you support the child properly? Unless you rely on your parents to provide economic support which will leave you dependent on them until the child is 18.
The decision is yours, but listen to your parents because they are much older than you and probably know what they’re talking about!
Good luck!
June 6th, 2009 at 10:00 pm
I’m much older than you and I know what I’m talking about when I tell you that your life is about to change no matter which decision you make. Keeping your child will most definitely change your life. But surrendering your child is going to hurt, not only for a week or month, but for all eternity from the day of surrender.
If someone has not surrendered a child do not listen to their interpretation of how its going to be. If they surrendered their child a few years ago, they are still under the assumption that what they did was an honorable and selfless thing (adoption language).
But in reality it is going to affect you and your child. And if you do get a chance to have a relationship with them later on, you will still feel the sting of what you did.
Not all children get great homes like the adoption brochure suggests. Not all children get over the feelings of abandonment. Adoption seldom works out like everyone says it does. Children wonder why they were surrendered. Opened adoptions are not legally enforceable. That means you can be promised one, and not receive one.
Wondering where your child is and if they are being treated well is the worst feeling I have ever experienced. If I could find words to explain it, I would offer them to you, but I can’t, 36 years later, 9 of them in reunion, and I still can’t find the word to express what surrendering a child feels like.
Your age plays a big factor in raising a child. You have a tough decision to make. If you have any family who is willing to keep the child within the family I suggest taking that route as you will still be in touch and your child will not be stripped of their heritage and medical information.
Good Luck
June 10th, 2009 at 3:45 am
like you i got pregnant at 14 im now 15 and my sons about to turn 1 i keep my baby and im doin good yea im not goin to lie to you it is hard because when my friends go here are there and i want to go i have to bag my mom to keep him and if shes at work i have to take him with me are just don’t go.but then i wouldn’t go back in time if i was able to becouse i love him and hes the best thing that happened to me.you know when people say theres no love like a mother and her child thats so TRUE
hope i helped
June 10th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
no!!! keep that child and see if somebody you know could take it.
June 13th, 2009 at 11:07 am
Yes, place the child. Especially if you don’t have the support of your parents.
June 15th, 2009 at 8:27 pm
Sweetie… first of all, thank you for not having an abortion. Second… it’s up to you. YOU make sure to make this decision all on your own! Although parents can be persuasive, its not thier baby. I actually cant believe that they would want their grandbaby off somewhere not knowing if the child is even ok! If you dont want it and you think you would be a bad mom, then sure… why not. But if you struggle with this because of attachment or love, do NOT let anyone take it away.
I have a 2 year old and I cant imagine giving her away. It would literally killl me. She brings so much joy to me. I would sacrafice and go without before Id ever give her up. Not knowing if she is okay, happy, loved or even alive would be torture.
I know your young, but when you chose to have sex you knew the possible outcome. If your not ready to be a mommy, then your not ready to have sex. But you did.
Just know that there are TONS of programs to help people just like you. You can get food stamps, WIC, housing, medical and everything. Also to finish high school go to college and get a good job. As well as daycare being provided. So dont think you are stuck if you have it. Definately a life change. But hopefully your family would be supportive during that time. You can still go have fun. We do. We have a grandparent take her once in a while and we go out! But I have so much more fun with her.
I dont want you to feel like they are forcing you to do anything and I know you are young, but I also dont want you to regret this at all. You are the best thing for that baby. The love is great and so is the responsibility. But if you are capable of love, you are capable of being a good mommy. None of us are perfect. Just do research, talk to professionals and educate yourself and make the decision on your OWN and decide for yourself what you want. Thing always work out. Just dont do something you will regret later. I know some who have done what your considering and they have a constant heart ache and regret it.
You can choose to put it up for adoption later. Have the baby, see how you feel and then see if you are capable of letting it go. If you are, then find a family for it. If you cant give her up, then that means you are ready to be a mommy and that you would have regretted giving it up… and oh arent you just so glad you didnt
June 16th, 2009 at 6:26 am
It is your decision, but who is going to support you and your baby? At 14 is not going to be you. It will be your parents or the taxpayers.
Either giving up your baby or keeping it are both going to be hard to do.
If you keep the baby say good bye to an education, teen years, college, etc. And also it sounds like your family.
If you give up the baby say hello to years of wondering about its life and a huge hole in your heart. Contrary to what you will read here, not all adoptees or bio moms will be in therapy and depressed for all of eternity. But both will always have times in their lives when they will wonder what if and some will even thank the powers that be for the life they have.
What life would be better for the CHILD? Struggling with an alone, uneducated teen mom or with a family that you have picked out?
Remember adoption is about the child not you, I mean the parents. Either choice will have heartache, but do what is best for the child.
June 18th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
Give it up for adoption. Your baby deserves the best and at 14 its impossible for you to give it the life it deserves. He\She will understand. I promise!
June 19th, 2009 at 11:49 am
my little sister is adopted! my aunt got pregnant at 14 and she tried for a couple weeks to do it on her own and couldn’t so my mom adopted her. they had an agreement to tell her she was adopted by her 13th birthday. and my mom choose to tell her when she was nine. she took it hard at first but she is 15 now and the has adjusted to it and has accepted it. she still asks questions from time to time and they all get along really well and she has a brother and a sister by her biological mom. and she calls them her brother and her sister. the choice is vary hard. but if you feel the love for your baby and you are determined you can raise your baby and your child will respect you more knowing you wanted them and did your best. and if you give your child up you should find someone in the family that is strong enough to handle an open adoption that might make this agreement with you and then you will always know your child and know if your child is in a good home!
June 19th, 2009 at 6:10 pm
I know if I was in your shoes at fourteen there would be no way I would want or be prepared for a kid. I think the best most responsible choice for you would be to put it up for adoption and just make sure it goes to a good home
June 21st, 2009 at 9:23 am
Yes you should put your baby up for adoption. Your way too young, finish school then look for a good guy to be with, then once married you can think of having kids. Abortion is never an option, it is selfish. The baby never asked to be conceived, he/she deserves life like all of us do. They are just as special as a newborn baby! Adopt him/her out. Besides abortion has horrible effects that can ruin your body, I am not saying that it’s going to happen 100% but it can affect your reproductive system negatively. Take care! And I hope that you choose to adopt. Because once someone is pregnant they don’t have a choice to abort the poor innocent baby! Unless the mother is about to die, but that’s rare. God Bless You! I hope for the best!
June 21st, 2009 at 11:58 am
In a normal situation I would advice you to keep the baby but you are
very very young, there is no way you will be able to raise that child
on your own, the child not only needs love, it needs nurturing and alot
of attention from you, if you are willing to give up your childhood because to me you are still a child and put effort into raising the baby
you will have to talk to your parents and they will have to help you
raise the baby themselves until you are mature enough, but if you know
in your heart youre not ready to parent, pick out a family that can give
him/her a future, there are hundreds of families that would give anything
to have a precious angel.