Adoption, is it ok to give my baby up for adoption?
Dorothy asked:
Do you think it would be wrong if i adopted my baby??
i really am not ready and have school and no money, etc…..
If i found a really good family, would that be bad? I am a christian too, is that wrong in Gods eyes?
I think it would be best but…. ?
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Do you think it would be wrong if i adopted my baby??
i really am not ready and have school and no money, etc…..
If i found a really good family, would that be bad? I am a christian too, is that wrong in Gods eyes?
I think it would be best but…. ?
November 30th, 2009 at 11:21 am
I was not ready for a baby, just as you are not. When I first found out I was pregnant I was for sure going to terminate my pregnancy, this coming from a deeply religious person, that’s how scared I was. I NEVER had the desire to have children. And i come from a LARGE family (my family, with the exception of me) does not believe in birth control, they believe to leave it up to God. I personally was on birth control and guess what I am pregnant. Anyways I had no maternal instinct at first. But now at 33 weeks pregnant I have established a very strong bond with my son already. Every time he kicks my ribs i laugh even though it hurts a bit. What i am saying is, weather you like it or not you will more then likely grow to love this baby that’s growing inside you and it will be HARD for you to part with him/her. There are options out there, medicaid can help with health ins. expenses. WIC helps with formula, but if you breast feed then you wont need to spend a lot on formula. Basically the point is if there is a will there is a way. Good luck to you. BabyBoy Due 1.11.2010
December 2nd, 2009 at 10:27 pm
I gave my Daughter up for adoption and it was the best thing for me and her. There is open adoption now, so you would be able to pick the family and stay in touch. I think it is the most unselfish act you can make. I am also a christian and I believe that given your child to a family that can not have children is a gift from god. The choice is yours and yours alone, but make sure that you think about all of the options. Amy A
December 3rd, 2009 at 6:11 pm
Think carefully before you make any decisions. The decision you make will significantly impact the rest of your life, so be sure to do your homework first. Just another Avatar
December 5th, 2009 at 5:47 pm
OK for whom? You? Doubtful. Most first Moms suffer for the rest of their lives after relinquishing a child.
OK for the baby? No child wants to be raised by strangers. God has NOTHING to do with adoption. He most certainly does not want children to be separated from their families. Unless you are a child abuser or drug addict, your child needs to stay with YOU.
Keep in mind that “open adoptions” are NOT legally enforceable in the US, so don’t be fooled by that promise.
There is help for you to parent your baby.
Please do NOT give your child up for adoption. The pain will last an entire lifetime, for you and YOUR BABY.
Please read the facts about adoption and how it will more than likely affect YOUR BABY and YOU. If you decide to continue with your pregnancy, your child deserves to be loved and raised by YOU. Adoption does NOT guarantee a better life, only a different one.
Also, do NOT contact anyone who has asked you to, or who has emailed you already. They are greedy vultures who want to make money off your baby, or want that baby for themselves.
Here are some links that can help you.
…. LinnyG
December 9th, 2009 at 2:59 am
I don’t think there is any black and white answer. No one here knows your full situation. Giving your baby for adoption will be very hard for you to do. Also your child will suffer a sense of loss when they are old enough to realize that you decided to place him/her for adoption. Still you child may be happiest with another family and that may be the best solution in your situation. I’m an adoptive mom, and our beautiful daughter will be 4 next month. She is a very happy child, and knows she was adopted. But when she’s older I know she’ll have a lot of questions and some pain regarding this. Still my husband and I are very blessed to have her, and from what I know of her first mother’s life, this was the right decision for all of us. All children deserve a loving family where they can be properly cared for and feel wanted. Sometimes this means placing them with someone other than the first parents. cmc
December 12th, 2009 at 5:47 am
The best thing you can do is give your baby a real family. God wants babies to be loved and cared for, not neglected or aborted. elaine n
December 15th, 2009 at 6:58 am
I think as many have mentioned before you really need to think about your decision. Working as a hospital social worker I have seen many women and young mothers who come in thinking that they are sure they want to give their child up for adoption, but once their child is born the bond that is created cannot be ignored. You must be ready to have a pain that lasts a lifetime…you will remember your child every birthday, everytime you see another child, as well as the post-pardom effect ie lactating. Not to mention the nine months that you will have carried your child and felt them kicking within your stomach., You may not feel ready to be a mother at the moment but I am sure you will learn along the way. In addition, I am sure you will hve tons of support from friends and family. Many times family members are more than willing to be very hands on and as I experienced both sets of grandparents were eager to babysit alll the time.
Overall, this is a decision only you can make. You say you have money, while money is very important what a child really needs is love and support. There are many resources to not only help financially, but also that would help you continue your education. Please refer to the many resources listed below…they will help with applying for things such as medical care, food stamps, WIC, free child care, parent coaching, finding a job or food banks, etc.
Good luck! ccc909
December 16th, 2009 at 10:50 am
DOROTHY i tell u story here
U R MOTHER NOW
no one on this earth born…….who adopt and take care like u…….god never leve responsibilty of u on another….
i give u an example………the human who adopt someone other child…..we know they are not there real parents..ok……time gone …and gone…..and that child…..for example..ronald…..become young….and bcoz of some problem..or society…ronald go wrong ..and there fake parents …who claim they love very much ronald..like..real son……but now situation is another……ronald become head ache for them…………..do u know what they say?
we r stupid…why..why.. we adopt this guy…no one knows… whose fake dirty blood is he ……what happen on ronald mind………dorothy……if real mother ther.she never say like this.?
now think……….adopt parents never like real parents……… The taster
December 19th, 2009 at 5:49 am
In my opinion adoption is not a bad thing nor is it wrong. However, it is not right for everyone.
Adoption is an incredibly selfless thing to do. But it is a hard thing to do.
If this is something you are really considering I would suggest a few things.
-Do some counceling before making a concrete decision. You need to figure some things out about yourself before you can make this decision. Are you strong enough to give up the child you will carry for 9 months?
-Research adoption agencies in your area. If you decide to go through with adoption for your child you want to go through the process with an agency you are comfortable with. I would suggest one that specializes in open adoptions. It is not an option you have to use, but it does give you that option. If you attend church see if they offer any services.
-Insist on interviewing any potential parents for your child. People can look great on paper but be horrible in real life. Bottom line, this is your child and it is easier when you know a little about the people who will be raising your child.
It sounds to me like you want the best for your child and that you have doubts about your ability to provide that. God wants what is best for all of his children which include both you and your child. He will not fault you for trying to provide that through adoption.
Keep in mind there are so many couples out there that ache because they cannot have children. Couples that would make wonderful parents that would love your child and raise him/her as their own. Yes there are some people who would not make good parents trying to adopt as well but God judges us based on the intent of our hearts.
I wish you the best of luck in this difficult decision. geekishgirl1986
December 19th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
Only you know what’s best. It’s between you & God, although I’d recommend counseling. I wouldnt take advice from strangers on the internet. Marnie B
December 21st, 2009 at 7:25 am
Dorothy, I would like to talk with you One on One.
I went through the exact same thing and I lost her a couple months
ago…. If you would please send me a message on here or write a comment back..
I would really like to explain to you some things that I wish other girls did when
I went through the exact same thing… please please write me on here
Im Audrey By the way. Audrey