My Adopted Baby

7 Responses to “Any teen moms that gave there baby up for adoption?”

1. snowwillow20 Says:
   January 20th, 2010 at 8:00 pm

   Yes, I was 17. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I’ve had a lifetime of regrets, sadness and depression. It’s been 38 years for me, and I still have regrets. I have been in reunion since 2001 and I still suffer guilt over that decision that I was forced to make.
   Mine was a closed adoption, that was the only choice. I was unwed so I had shamed our families.
   I have been in counseling and even though I feel most of the time that I’ve gotten better, one day I’ll wake up and it’s back, slapping me in the face.
   Only you can make this decision, but think about how you will feel in 2 years or 20 years without your baby. snowwillow20

2. cm13278 Says:
   January 23rd, 2010 at 12:57 pm

   I was 18 when I made the decision. Every person will act differently and it will affect every person differently who chooses this. I worked with a lawyer specializing in adoptions. She gave me probably fifteen profiles (like little albums, with pictures of the couples and their reasons for wanting to adopt) to choose a family for my baby from.
   I chose to place her because I knew I could never give her the kind of life that I wanted her to have and the kind of life that I grew up with and I thought she deserved a chance at everything and that was just simply not something I could give her. That was my pro, knowing that I was giving a child to a couple who could not have one otherwise (that was my one criteria, that they could not have children on their own) and knowing that I was giving her the kind of life that she deserved. I did a closed adoption also, I got a couple pictures of my daughter but it gets easier everyday. You just can;t look at it from a “poor me” perspecitive, you have to look at as a your child is going to have a great life that you might not be able to give her.
   But I don’t regret a single minute of it. Yes it was hard, it was one of the hardest decisions you ever had to make but it was definitely the right one for me. You have to decide on your own if you can handle that and some people can’t live with that choice. You can find an open adoption, but there isnt any guarantee that it will stay that way. Choosing a closed adoption was easier for me because not seeing her was easier than seeing her and regreting it later. cm13278

3. USAF_Wife Says:
   January 24th, 2010 at 5:33 pm

   I gave my daughter up for adoption when I was 18. I still get pictures and get to see her twice a year. It was really hard and still is hard for me to this day…but after a while I learned to cope with it. It all depends on the situation… I know a lot of teen moms who are great mothers! But I was living in a pregnancy home for homeless teens and I wanted to give her a life I just couldn’t. Talk to an adoption agency… it would give you a better idea of everything when it comes to adoption! Find some teen moms to talk to and ask them for their thoughts and expierences. A good site is babygaga.com they have a forum just for teen moms. It’s really up to you and you have to do a lot of soul searching for the answer. I wish you luck in whatever you choose USAF_Wife

4. H****** Says:
   January 27th, 2010 at 5:53 am

   A young lady named Allison Crews wrote this about being in your situation, I hope you find it helpful

   Please remember to think only of the welfare of you and your baby, it’s not your responsibility to ‘make someone’s dreams come true’ or other such BS pressure people will likely lay on you. You have enough to deal with, you don’t need other people’s problems laid on you

   Here’s something written by people who’ve been in your shoes ‘what you should know if your’re considering adoption for your baby’ Take time to think carefully

   Take care H******

5. Michele Says:
   January 30th, 2010 at 1:15 am

   I am not a teen mom, but I feel compelled to answer because I am adopted. My birth mother was a teen too, in love but not married, they were in high school, etc. I know it was a selfless thing to do, it took a lot of courage and she put me first, before herself. I really respect the fact that she had my best interest in mind when she gave me up for adoption. I am thankful she made the choice she did. Also, from another perspective, giving a couple who can’t have children a baby would be the greatest, most important gift anyone could ever give. I put that above giving a kidney, etc. It’s that big of a deal to a couple who has tried and tried and has had many miscarriages and failed pregnancy attempts. You would be giving them their life’s dream and fulfillment. You can still be a mom later, when you plan it and are ready for that type of commitment, but for now I encourage you to at least talk to an adoption specialist and see if it would be something you could do for your baby as well as the family waiting for their dreams to come true. Good luck, God Bless. Michele

6. nicole :) Says:
   January 30th, 2010 at 4:13 pm

   I am 17 and have 2 month-old twins. I don’t regret keeping them at all. I just couldn’t deal with knowing that they would be out there and wouldn’t be mine… No regrets! :] nicole

7. Pip Says:
   February 1st, 2010 at 4:33 pm

   I was 19 when I was lied and bullied into surrendering, not once did I ever agree to it but it went through because I was lied to. I was told I couldn’t stop the adoption when he was 6 weeks old and didn’t know I actually had 6 months to stop him. So no I don’t regret giving him up because I didn’t make that choice but I do regret not having the knowledge I do know. If I did I would have raised my son. There are absolutely no pros to my son being adopted because there weren’t any good reasons for it to happen. I was working so I could afford to raise him, wanted to, I loved him and I could have provided the same for him as his adoptive parents.

   The cons are I suffered depression, been suicidal over the years, self harmed, hated myself, hated my parents been angry, the pain will never go away. My son also suffers with depression, he has major issues with being adopted and blames everybody else for anything that goes wrong in his life, he is also a compulsive liar. Neither of us trust each other - he has lied to me so mich I never know when he is telling the truth. Pip

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