Comments on: At what point in a pregnancy does it become too late to decide to give the baby up for adoption?

By: Syndie T

Syndie T — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 06:02:48 +0000

She can choose to put the child up for adoption at any point. Even after birth. 10 years ago, when I was 1 week before my due date I realized that I was in no state to care for a child properly at that time (and for all of you who think I should go to hell for that, think what you want, I know I did what was best for that baby) …. there is an agency in Illinois that is VERY good with adoptions - they do both open and closed adoptions …. The place is called Sunny Ridge (1800BABYLUV)

By: Nikki E

Nikki E — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 04:11:57 +0000

It’s never too late. Just contact an agency, i DO NOT recommend Abby’s One True Gift, they are like debt collectors and really scared me away. I gave my son up about 4 months after her was born, but my family members decided to keep him.

And tell your friend no to sweat the haters on here, she will not go to Hell, for the self righteous stick up her ass person who said that, Baby Moses was basically given up for adoption, he was sent in a basket down the river, so whatever their reasons are are really no ones business, and if its an open adoption where everyone is open and upfront, then they can still see the child and maintain contact with its birth siblings. Half the people in this world act like they were planned pregnancies, iunno what the heck they are so self righteous about.

By: nay_27

nay_27 — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 23:10:16 +0000

As someone who desperately wants a child, and is having a hard time getting pregnant, I don’t think there is an easy answer. I know what it is like to be career oriented. I am an attorney; a working woman, who knows that it cannot be easy to balance parenting and work. All I can say is that there are plenty of people out there, who would love to have a child, who cannot. A baby deserves to be in home where the child is wanted, and there are plenty of people who would want a healthy baby. If it is too much for your friend to take on, good for her for recognizing it.

By: Rachel Y

Rachel Y — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 09:59:17 +0000

Yes, it’s selfish, but it’s the parents’ right to be selfish, even if we don’t approve.

Here’s the upside. There are probably hundreds of thousands of women, like me, who can’t have more babies and would take that extra one off of their hands. That child will likely not grow up neglected, especially given that its parents are both known and are successful and well-educated. It would likely be very easily adopted out.

By: kny390

kny390 — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 04:57:03 +0000

This family doesn’t sound like they can’t afford another baby, it sounds like they don’t want to give up their life style to accommodate another child. Selfish - yes. Hopefully, they will think long and hard before they give away their child, because there is no going back - only regrets to come.

By: Meng

Meng — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 01:21:12 +0000

You *can’t* adequately explain this to the older siblings. If you tell them that it’s for financial reasons they’re going to feel super guilty about the amount of food they eat, about getting new clothes, toys, etc. If you tell them it’s for other reasons then a) you’re lying and b) they might notice you’re lying and think it’s perhaps because you don’t like kids, and that you perhaps don’t like them either. Hell, they might even think that if you’re honest and say it’s for financial reasons, especially if you’re not dirt poor.

Odds are they can just sit down, look at their budget and figure it out. I’m not claiming kids are cheap, but they really aren’t *that* expensive. Perhaps they could get a cheaper car or a cheaper house (the kids can share a bedroom) or w/e, or pay more attention to all the little things that add up every month. Quit saving money up for the kids’ college funds or something. There are ways, really.

By: kissmeagainnow

kissmeagainnow — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 22:50:04 +0000

It is never too late, the baby can be born and you can still give it up if you choose.

By: Patsy A

Patsy A — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 17:00:49 +0000

I, too, had an unplanned pregnancy when my twins were 10 years old. I was dismayed. It has been hard on him knowing he was a surprise, but he also knows we all love him. Life was more complicated, as I returned to work right away, but had stayed home for four years with the first two. He was still at home when we retired, too. He has been a delight.
I can’t imagine giving up a child. They won’t be able to, either.

By: 4Real

4Real — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 17:37:26 +0000

yes i would say that their decision sounds super selfish, and very irresponsible.
Why in the world after having and loving 2 children could you ever give one away.
Financial burdens or not, that is a poor choice.
Depending on their situation it sounds like they could at least liquidate some assets to make more funds available.

By: Gumnaam1

Gumnaam1 — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 04:56:33 +0000

i don’t think its ever too late to give up a baby for adoption. however, you should ask your friend to reconsider. she is giving up a baby because she has no time? she’s not a teen mom with no education or a poor person (from what you say). every time you have sex, you have a chance of having a baby…i’m sure they knew that (whether you use a condom, OCPs, get a vasectomy or tubal ligation even).