can i put my baby up for adoption without him?
lil_gats_0622 asked:
I got prego and not long after that me and my boyfriend broke up. I am considering adoption but he doesn’t want that. So i was wondering if i could adopt my baby out to a good family without his approval or signature.
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I got prego and not long after that me and my boyfriend broke up. I am considering adoption but he doesn’t want that. So i was wondering if i could adopt my baby out to a good family without his approval or signature.
January 12th, 2010 at 7:14 am
not if he still wants something to do with it but you can give him custody Proud Wife and Mommy
January 12th, 2010 at 2:20 pm
You must have his permission in order to place your baby for adoption. If you want to relinquish your parental rights to him you could do that. Robyn S
January 12th, 2010 at 2:27 pm
Not unless he is proven non existent or untraceable
Why did you keep the baby in pregnancy if you didnt want it?
Your probably a troll, but two points is two points
Everyone is a winner! ICECOOL777BACKUP
January 13th, 2010 at 1:28 am
Depends on the laws in your state. LaraSue
January 15th, 2010 at 11:00 pm
Wow, how wonderful of you. So, you’re going to condemn your child and yourself into a long and lonely existence filled with regret and sadness to spite him because you broke up? Shame on you.
No. You cannot do that. If you do, and he finds out, any adoption will be ruled null and void, and you could be charged with a crime. LinnyG
January 16th, 2010 at 4:33 pm
No.
Is there a reason you’re denying him the chance to parent? Ferbs
January 18th, 2010 at 11:03 am
if he wants something to do with it….no heybuhboo
January 19th, 2010 at 10:38 am
Why don’t you ask him if he would consider and open adoption..that way the bio parents still get to see the baby. I don’t know how old you are but if you can’t take care of the baby why not give the baby to parentsthat can. You need to sit down and talk to him about this. Open adoptions are great you get to pick the couple. Sewthis
January 19th, 2010 at 4:28 pm
The real answer is yes, there is a way around it. It is harder and you will need your parents help. When my mother was pregnant with me my bio father was violent, you are required by law to notify the father they are being challenged for their rights to the baby by posting a public notice in a paper in the state. Which like my mother did you can out it in a town that he doesnt live in or know any one in. Once his rights are legally gone you can give the baby up for adoption. If you need further help or explanation you can email me and I will ask my mom for more detail, Panda M
January 21st, 2010 at 5:03 pm
Sure you “can”. You “can” run around stabbing people. Both are illegal. You’d be falsifying documents, and doing a number of shady/illegal things in putting your kid up for adoption without notifying the father. He will have to sign his rights away the same as you in order for the adoption to go through. If you DON’T get his permission, he could come back at you for not telling him. The best thing to do is to let him know you are pregnant, giving birth, and that you have no interest in parenting your baby. He has every right to raise this child. A court will decide if he is a proper parent, not you. DevonChaos
January 23rd, 2010 at 11:50 pm
I don’t know your reason for wanting to put this child up for adoption but you need to give him a chance to decide if he wants to be a parent or not. He helped make this baby he has the right to make a decision on the life of this child as well. But if you both are serious about this please contact me I am a woman who can not have kids and looking to adopt. Melly L
January 24th, 2010 at 10:13 am
There’s a law designed to help women have the ability to place a baby for adoption rather than raising it, when the father doesn’t man up to take on full-time fatherhood. It’s called the putative father registry, and unless the father literally goes to the courthouse, and signs a document stating that he’s the father, and that he provides the information needed to document the child in question, then there’s a possibility that he loses rights to the baby.
Depending on what state, the time from birth to the adoption consent varies from little time to months. Each state is different. Some states require ads to be placed in papers, and some don’t. For instance, Arkansas simply has 10 days from the date of birth of the child for the father to sign the registry (he can sign before the baby’s birth). This is also the time from signing the consent to adopt papers to the termination of parental rights. The laws vary from state to state, and usually the laws where you give birth are the ones that rule. An attorney can advise you more, and has the putative father registries regulations.
I strongly urge you to think about what’s best for the baby rather than yourself. Perhaps it might be best for the father to raise the child. Just because the two of you couldn’t be together doesn’t mean that he might not be a terrific father. I would never condone using these laws if there’s a smithering of a chance that he might be a good choice for the baby. Also, I’d wait until you give birth to decide anything. Hormones, fear, not knowing, jealousy, and rage can be really confusing when you’re pregnant. Good luck on making the right decision for the baby! sizesmith
January 25th, 2010 at 5:41 am
It would be morally wrong and cruel of you to surrender your child without his consent. If he wants to raise your (and his) baby then what is your problem about him doing so? Pip
January 25th, 2010 at 6:40 am
Oh, Smart.
NO, You obviously can’t! .The father of the child, needs to approve. He has rights. What if he asks to see him one day? What’re you going to say then? If you do this, your life is going to be full of regrets, sadness & anger. ☆ Mahrie ☆
January 26th, 2010 at 2:52 pm
no, he would have to agree. Vanessa M
January 26th, 2010 at 5:00 pm
Sizemit is correct. You can do it and he has to register with the state. S
January 29th, 2010 at 5:38 am
You can, but it won’t be legal, and he could fight it in the future to regain his child.
EITHER PARENT OR ABORT!
DO NOT ABANDON YOUR CHILD TO ADOPTION!
Seriously.
If you know you don’t want it now, then get an abortion before it’s too late, because if you abandon it, you’re screwing it up for life - and probably yourself too.
If you don’t want to abort, then please do not allow anyone pressure you into abandoning it.
I was abandoned to adoption at 7mths old. I didn’t have a bad adoption - my afamily are the best I could ever have chosen… but if I’d been able to choose, and I’d known then what I know now, I’d've chosen to be aborted before birth instead, ’cause at least that way the lifetime of agony I’ve gone through would’ve been over in minutes, instead of the decades that I’ve been suffering for now.
I’ve been in reunion with my bfam for a few months now, and even that’s proving to be completely agonising.
Taken from Nancy Verrier’s book, Coming Home to Self:
For the adoptee every day is a challenge of trying to figure out how to be, although he probably doesn’t understand the difficulty this presents for him. It has been true his whole life and, therefore, feels normal. However, it takes a great deal of energy and concentration. And it never feels quite right. He never quite fits. Therefore he feels as if /he/ is never quite right.
(pg 50)
Abandonment and neglect are reported to be the two most devastating experiences that children endure - even more devastating then sexual or physical abuse. That’s why some neglected children do naughty things to get attention. Even though the attention is hurtful - being yelled at, hit, or otherwise harmed - it is better than neglect. /Anything/ is better than abandonment. Abandonment is a child’s greatest fear. For adoptees, it is also reality, embedded in their implicit and unintegrated memory.
(pg 102)
It is sometimes difficult to spot grief in children. After all, it isn’t as if the child sits in a puddle of tears his entire childhood. As one adoptee said, “Of course I played, laughed, sang. Do people think that if you’re not sitting in a corner with your head on your knees, you are not sad? I had happy times, but the sadness was always there, even when I was having fun.”
(pg 117)
Please, if you’re not gonna abort your baby, then make damn sure you parent it.
Go read - it’s by someone who made both choices at different times in her life.
You may find some of the books and links listed over at useful.
Good luck. 7rin