Can my ex take custidy of my baby and give her up for adoption when she is born?
asked:
He has been telling me that this is what his lawyer is planning on. Is it even possible? He doesn’t want her why would he do this?
I am not a drug user. I quit drinking pop and smoking when i found out i was pregnant. thank you all
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He has been telling me that this is what his lawyer is planning on. Is it even possible? He doesn’t want her why would he do this?
I am not a drug user. I quit drinking pop and smoking when i found out i was pregnant. thank you all
April 16th, 2009 at 5:06 am
No, he can’t take the baby from you (unless for some reason you are proven an unfit mother). If you want to keep the baby and he does not, he’s out of luck. It is your decision, not his - don’t let him scare you or bully you.
April 19th, 2009 at 10:06 am
No.
He probably is just saying that so he can get out of paying child support. Ignore him. What a jerk!!!
The only way a child can be taken from you is if you are using drugs during your pregnancy & the baby tests positive for drugs in her system.
Congrats on your baby.
*eta** I agree with Thomas P. You should report his “attorney” to your state bar association, if he is actually threatening to do this.
April 20th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
No. Why? He is a control freak. If the lawyer for your husband is making such a threat, it would be appropriate to report the information to the Ethics Committee of the State Bar. I do not think the lawyer would make a remark like the comment your husband has assigned to him. Your lawyer should inquire if the adoption plan is being made.
April 20th, 2009 at 9:00 pm
well 1st he’ll have to establish paternity..
and that you are unfit as a person to handle being a mother (doing drugs, homeless)
don’t worry about any comments about needing to be in his care cause he makes more money. that is not a valid excuse. the department of justice child services division will push a child support order that will ensure that YOU can take care of your child with financial help from him
April 21st, 2009 at 3:23 pm
I agree with Slassy Girl, he cant do that unless you have done something that would put the baby in harm. He is just trying to get to you, take care of yourself and the baby, and good luck.
April 24th, 2009 at 11:14 am
He would need to prove three things first:
- paternity showing that he is the biological father;
- that you are unfit to parent the baby and that the baby would be in danger with you; and
- that IF you are unfit, you are not able to reform your ways and parent the child safely and appropriately.
Since you say that you are not unfit and that the child is not going to be in any danger or unfit circumstance I suspect he is just posturing to either try to get out of child support or just because he’s a control freak.
April 27th, 2009 at 5:17 pm
He can take custody if you are proved to be unfit.
April 27th, 2009 at 7:28 pm
No, but there is a group of men that is trying to work for the right to do just that. They want to “right” to “opt out” of fatherhood, even when the mother wants to keep and raise the child. Some of them want to force adoptions.
You might check out the link above, just to see what your ex might be “thinking.”..forewarned is forearmed.
April 28th, 2009 at 3:59 am
is this an ex husband or an ex boyfriend?
If it’s an ex husband and your divorce is already final, there’s not much chance he can do this legally, but he can abuse you emotionally with his threats.
Keep in mind that children cannot be legally adopted unless:
1) both parents sign papers to relinquish custody
2) courts have legally removed child from parental custody due to drug use, or other crimes.
cw
April 29th, 2009 at 8:48 pm
I highly doubt he can.Sounds like he`s threatening you.But if you are proven unfit, and he is the father he can possibly gain custody. But he has to prove he`s the father.
April 30th, 2009 at 9:14 pm
Do you live in Colorado? The way the new law is worded there, either parent can sign pre-birth to surrender your baby. Thus, he could theoretically sign away your baby without your consent and you wouldn’t be told until the agency rep showed up at the hospital to take your newborn.
Also, in some states, he could tell the hospital that you are a drug user or child abuser and CPS may take your baby into custody at birth, as it only takes unproven allegations for a child to be apprehended, as they place the safety of a child above the rights of the parent. The child is removed UNTIL the situation is proven safe to return the child.
Good luck. I think that you need your own lawyer on this, but ensure they do not belong to the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys or you may be right out of luck, as these are baby brokers who make money from every adoption. If they can sell your baby for $25,000 (what a healthy white newborn can go for these days), they will.
May 3rd, 2009 at 3:41 am
Assuming that he is the biological father, he can only take your child if you are shown to be an unfit mother. Even then, he would not be able to take it and just adopt it out. To get custody of the child he would have to show that he intended to raise the child. The only thing that would serve his purpose is CPS would allow him to terminate his parental rights.
IF (and only if) you are shown unfit, law in most states require that CPS give you at least one year to work the service plan and get your child returned to you. Occasionally CPS will ask for early termination if the mother is not trying.
As for CPS taking children over allegations that are unfounded, that is complete crap. I was a CPS investigator, to remove a child due to drugs, we had to have a positive UA and if it was a newborn, the baby must have tested positive also.
May 3rd, 2009 at 11:39 am
No this is total bunk and I’ll bet you he doesn’t even have a lawyer. If he does, he’s paying for crap advice.
If you are capable of taking care of your baby, and want your baby, it will be hard as hell for him to get custody in the first place. He would have to prove you unfit. This usually means you live in such a way that puts the baby in danger or don’t want the baby or abuse the baby. Additionally, even if he puts his name on the birth certificate, he is not the LEGAL father until he either says he is so in front of a judge or submits to a paternity test and puts that evidence before a judge. He has no rights otherwise. You could have gotten pregnant by anyone yet only you can be the mother because hospital records prove the baby came out of you. You can tell anyone you want that they are the father and the only way to prove it is in court.
On top of all this, custody usually does not mean sole custody without visitation rights. It would mean that one person is the custodial parent and the other is the non-custodial parent. Then there are 50-50 split arrangements. It depends on your situation and what you agree to and what the judge says.
OK second point - if he does manage to get custody and then tries to put the baby up for adoption, child protective services would get involved. If they really can’t put the family back together, they would try to find the nearest relative available to take care of the baby first, such as a grandparent or you. That’s right, you. Unless your parental rights were revoked completely, which only happens in cases of extreme abuse or neglect, the baby would be returned to you.
He’s bluffing and being a drama queen. Get all the child support you can out of him.
May 3rd, 2009 at 2:22 pm
if your ex dont have no reason to take your baby away from you he wont be able to. he can not give her up for adoption because both parents gonna have to agree to it