can my mom force me to put my baby up for adoption?


baby adoption
sledder_punk_09 asked:


i am 17 years old. i foundout that i was pregnant 4 months ago. my boyfriend wants to keep the baby and i do also. i’m planning on telling my parents that i’m pregnant sometime this week, but my mom has always told me that if i got pregnant under the age of 18 she would force me to give the baby up… do i get any rights to what happens when im only 17? is their a law that says my parents get to choose what happens to my baby in minnesota?

This entry was posted on Monday, February 1st, 2010 at 12:00 am and is filed under Adoption. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

28 Responses to “can my mom force me to put my baby up for adoption?”

  1. Pretty_Fly Says:

    No they can’t. Just be aware that it was very irresponsible to have a child so young. Pretty_Fly

  2. LovelyManda Says:

    no she cant! you are still a minor under you parents house. but you can keep the baby. live with your boyfriends parents so your mom has no say in what happens to it LovelyManda

  3. Anthony and Danielle Says:

    well how long untill your 18 im guess you will be 18 soon after having the baby. at that age there is not way she can force you to give up YOUR baby not hers Anthony and Danielle

  4. Saskia Says:

    Noo wayyy! thats your choice Saskia

  5. Momo Says:

    well ur not official an aduly untill ur 18 so ur under ur moms rules. I’m not sure if she’s allowed to force u to give it up. MY guess is no she can’t but im not sure. Momo

  6. αιмℓєѕѕ мєℓιѕѕα Says:

    no she can’t force you to give it up for adoption BUT she can force you to move out of her house and/or completely cut you off from all money and help.

    If you want to keep the baby, then stand your ground and dont let her change your mind.

    good luck! αιмℓєѕѕ мєℓιѕѕα

  7. Proud Wife & Mommy Says:

    As far as I know your mom can not force you to give up your baby, if you are worried about it get emancipated. All you have to do is prove to the court that you can live on your own and support the baby, your bf needs to have a good job cause they will proly due debt to income ratio, or yall both could have one and make sure you have a sitter lined up already and a place to live. It will show the judge yall are responsible and more then capable of raising this baby.

    Good luck and congrats Proud Wife & Mommy

  8. RWKING Says:

    don’t think so, but do not know the laws where you live. Just run away and get married, and she can’t do anything about it. RWKING

  9. meanddave Says:

    18 move out—adult at 18—–see if u can live with a family member until 18–good luck meanddave

  10. PGM Says:

    I think you would probably want to go to a pregnancy center or talk to a trusted clergy person. They would be able to help you with those questions.

    My daughter had a baby at 18 (only a year older than you), and he is now six: a wonderful young man. It’s been very hard for her, but she has managed to make it.

    You have my sympathy and my good wishes. PGM

  11. Lucky Says:

    It is your baby, you get to make decisions regarding his or her care, not the grandparents. They can kick you out the moment you turn 18, but they can’t force you to give up the child. They might just have been saying that to scare you and love the little guy once he is here, but either way they can’t make you give the baby up. Lucky

  12. og Says:

    Talk to an attorney .. you can call one from the phone book .. He/she will give you a free consultation over the phone or in the office . I don’t believe your mother can legally force you but how are you going to take care of this child without her help ? og

  13. Beth Says:

    My cousin was in this position.
    Her mom wanted her to put her baby into adoption,
    My cousin was 16 though.
    When she told her mom she was pregnant; she had a massive row
    and they weren’t speaking ’cause my cousin choose to have the baby.
    And she’s doing pretty good, and her moms supporting her now (:

    When you have the baby; I’m pretty sure your mom will support you. Beth

  14. phoenixdadeadhead Says:

    She can’t take away your child. You should be real careful about the conversation though, you will need your mom after the baby is born, so be polite when you tell her, and even when she starts screaming at you, keep your cool. phoenixdadeadhead

  15. Tracey Seth Says:

    No, they can’t force you to give your child up for adoption, however, they can refuse to support you if you decide to keep the baby. Pregnancy and birth essentially emancipates you from your parents and they do not have to support you even when you are a minor.

    I would expect to move out of your home and get a place of your own. If your boyfriend is going to be in the picture, marry him and set up house togehter. You will have to work hard and make a living for yourselves, but if hard work doesn’t scare you and you are both willing to do whatever it takes to keep your little family together, then you will be able to do it. Anything less than that, and your baby would be better off with adoptive parents who are willing and able to do whatever it takes.

    You have a hard decision to make. Tracey Seth

  16. It's a baby boy! Due March 1 Says:

    She can’t force you do that, and if I were you this is what I would do.. Talk to a school counselor that is trustworthy to you. Talk to them and explain you are 4 months pregnant. You need prenatal care, and your parents do need to know, and they cannot force you into adoption. It is legally not their choice because this baby is obviously yours. Good Luck, and just don’t screw up again, and start getting prenatal care you and that baby need it! It is very important! It’s a baby boy! Due March 1

  17. Whitney Says:

    First off, do NOT listen to the rude person before me. I was pregnant when I was 17 and I went to a womans health clinic to get the ultrasound. They sat me down & had a longgg talk…NO ONE has a say so in your pregnancy but YOU! No matter if you 14!!! Now she may threaten to kick you out of the house or disown you…but that’s her stuidity. Also you need to start taking prenatal vitamins asap! You can purchase them at any helth or drug store, walmart, CVS the best over the counter one without a prescription is “Stewarts” I wish you luck! Whitney

  18. Cameron Says:

    The answer is no, nobody can make you sign adoption papers or stop you from signing them if you and the father so choose. That doesn’t mean giving the baby to an adoptive couple is a bad idea. Considering that you’re not an adult, it’s probably a very good idea.

    If you choose to become a parent in both the biological and legal sense, your life will change massively. Contrary to what they show on MTV, no part of parenting is glamorous. You cannot be a “mom” and a “teenager” at the same time. It’s work, work, work….when you have to do shit jobs for terrible pay; when you’ve worked 41 hours in the last 3 days and now you’re changing diarrhea-filled diapers at 3 am while your baby screams in pain; when you give up promotions, pay, can’t go out and have fun because you have no reliable babysitter for months and years….

    Parenting is 45% rewarding, 45% fun, 10% nightmare, and 100% sacrifice. Understand the trade-offs you’re making. All the best. Cameron

  19. Lisa L Says:

    Nope, NO ONE can force you to give up your baby for adoption. You are VERY young, and you will see how heavy a responsibility a baby is. Both energy, time and financial…….IT’S A BIG LOAD. Get all your “partying” done now, because once the baby is here, you won’t have time or energy for that. I’m sure your Mom is concerned with having to raise your child, maybe that’s why she’s so adament about you NOT keeping the baby. At 17, you should be FREE to hang out with friends, party and grow up a little. Having a baby is going to make you grow up WAY FASTER than you should. Hopefully you won’t resent the baby, cause it’s not the babies fault. Anyway……………. Good luck, cause your gonna need it. Lisa L

  20. Brian Says:

    Noo wayyy! thats your choice. its your baby not yours. Thats a bit of a downer getting knocked up at 17. good luck with your baby. Brian

  21. Ziggy Says:

    no, she can’t.
    you have to fight it if she does. did you get that? FIGHT it!!!!
    your child would much rather spend the first little while with it’s mom in a home for young mothers or even a shelter than to be given away.

    i’m sorry your mom thinks that way. i could never imagine saying that to my girls. Now is the time you need her love, not her hatred Ziggy

  22. Cambria Says:

    She can’t force you to give up the baby. It is your child and it is your decision. She can make it very hard on you and -try- to make you choose the way she wants you too. But just know that she can’t make you do it and there are other places to go to get support. Stay strong. Your first true act of being a parent is going to be fighting to keep your baby. Cambria

  23. Bekahh! Mummy to 3! Says:

    no she cant!

    im a teenage mum to 3

    if you want to talk email me - Bekahh! Mummy to 3!

  24. Angela Says:

    No, you are the only one that has a say in what happens to your child. DO NOT SIGN any paper work without reading it first and ripe up any paper that talks about terminating your rights as a parent or placing your child in foster care. If your parents or someone from a adoption agency is pressuring you to sign something, walk away.

    Here is a website from the Health department in Minnesota. It should give you information about getting medical care, WIC and possibly funding for housing.

    Craigslist.com is an awesome place to find cheap baby things.

    Be careful about Pregnancy Crisis Center, most of them will push you towards adoption. Angela

  25. snowwillow20 Says:

    She can’t force you. You are the babies mother and you make the decisions. Your mother might make it difficult for you to live with her as she persuades you to give your baby up.
    You need to be armed with reading material to show her how detrimental adoption is on the child and the mother. It is a painful thing to live through and something you never get over. Ask your Mom how she would feel if she had been brow beaten into giving you up for adoption. snowwillow20

  26. Saggyrl Says:

    Ugh, parents who force their kids to give their babies up make me sick! I got pregnant at 17 and my parents were PISSED, but they said they would support me whatever I decided. In the end I chose an abortion, but it was totally MY decision and I will always feel garteful to my parents for letting ME make the decision.

    NO, NO NO your mom can’t make you give your baby up! She can try to bully you into doing it, but please do NOT do it! Like someone else said, can you stay with your boyfriend’s family? If one of my sons got a girl pregnant and her family kicked her out I would have her stay with us in a heartbeat. I would never want to lose my own grandchild to strangers, never!!!

    If your bf’s family won’t take you in, do you have any other relatives who would help? There are always ways, stay strong sweetie!!!! You never know, your mom may have said that to scare you but almost all change their tune once the baby is born. Saggyrl

  27. 7rin Says:

    Absolutely not, though she can try to make life very difficult for you, by threatening to throw you out and things like that.

    I was pregnant at 17, and trust me, it’s neither a crisis, nor too young. You *can* keep your kid, and don’t let anyone tell you different. My daughter’s now 19, and is studying art at college. Don’t let anyone take your baby from you.

    You might find some of the links listed at useful.

    Good luck! 7rin

  28. Ashley Says:

    your parents cant do anything. i got prego at 17 also. i have my son now and he is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. It is a hard road though, i have just been through a custody battle and it was nasty and i am 8months preggo too. but pray baotu it get some consoling Ashley

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