Could I ever see my baby that I gave up for adoption 15 yrs. ago?
Here’s my Q or A. asked:
My parents were alcoholics and drug addicts, I was only 13 and got pregnant by a 25 yr old man that was married, my parents made me give him up for adoption. I didn’t want to but now I have a successful life and would love to be a part of his life, could I ever see him? Where should I start? Remember this, it wasn’t my choice. I was forced to do it!
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My parents were alcoholics and drug addicts, I was only 13 and got pregnant by a 25 yr old man that was married, my parents made me give him up for adoption. I didn’t want to but now I have a successful life and would love to be a part of his life, could I ever see him? Where should I start? Remember this, it wasn’t my choice. I was forced to do it!
December 9th, 2009 at 5:44 am
Depends what kind of adoption you had. If it was a closed adoption, you won’t be able to get into his records to find out where he is. When he’s 18 though (or when his parents permit), he would have every right to come find you if he wants. If you truly want to find your son, but don’t have ANY information about the adoptive family, it would be simplest to hire a private detective. Or there’s that new show on ABC. “Find My Family” or something like that. lol Just Call Me G
December 10th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
I agree with G. As great as it would be to find your child, you’ve still got to put their needs first. Should your child ever wish to find you, he or she will be happy that you’re in a receptive state. But now isn’t the best time — teenagers already have so much on their plates. The Jason
December 13th, 2009 at 10:28 pm
Unfortunately, no one can make him available for you to see, except the adoptive parents. The place to begin trying is where you went to place him for adoption, either the attorney’s office, foster care, or the agency. At this point, you write a letter to the parents saying you’d like to meet your son, with their help, and give them as much contact information as possible. Ask in the letter also, that they keep the information for him when he’s older, in case they don’t tell him at this point.
Put every bit of contact information in as possible, such as a grandmother’s or friend’s phone number of someone who’s in a permanent home, your facebook/myspace page information (make one now if you don’t have one already), email address, and both home and cell numbers. Remember that there’s a good chance that the adoptive parents don’t know the cause why you placed him for adoption, and there’s a good chance that by kindly explaining the situation, that they might be a little more open. Also, with the letter, put in as much medical history as you can find out about your family, and the father’s family, so he’ll have it as he grows up. Include addictions, mental illness, causes of death for all grand/great grandparents, and any histories of any types of cancers, diabetes, heart problems, even things like tonsils, allergies, and acid reflux. By having this information, it can help him in the future. Even include any female problems, because in the future, if he has daughters, they’ll need the information.
Include your contact information on every page, at least phone number, and always assume that the agency and other people might read the letters. Start with as much information you have, and also ask that if they won’t let you meet him, would they provide a picture of him and his first name, so you’ll have some peace. I wish you luck in the process, and pray that the adoptive family works with you. Fight and write your senators for open adoption records. sizesmith
December 16th, 2009 at 7:27 pm
Probably not even more if it was a closed adoption. If you know who his parents are (that adopted him) you could see if they and even he are open to having some sort of contact with you. Otherwise you may have to wait until/if he decides to search for you. I agree you should contact whomever you placed through agency or adoption attorney. Its even possible that maybe his parents sent them something to give to you should you ever contact them. Christ is the reason for X-Mas
December 16th, 2009 at 9:53 pm
In 3 years you can if he’s willing and can find you. Go here,, and get registered.
Start now preparing yourself for what ever happens. Expect nothing, give more than you take, and stop saying you were forced. Own up to signing those papers.
AND REMEMBER at age 18 the real wait begins. All you have done so far was just biding your time for that day to come. It took my daughter another 10 years to find me. She was 28 when we met.
You can look around for him on the net, but if you want to do it legally, you have to wait till he’s 18. Even then he may not be ready. smarmy
December 19th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
Yes, of course! But just remember he may not want any thing to do with your life. But just be respect full to him! Good luck! Jessica_Ethier
December 19th, 2009 at 10:38 pm
Not until he is 18 years old.
Good luck. nelawala
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:41 am
Yes, When he is 18, you can look for him. I found my daughter with only a birth date, city, state. In about 15 sec. YOU can too! Register at adoption.com dontknow86
December 25th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
go n find ur child. wats stopping you hamma