Do you think putting my baby up adoption is the right thing to do?
Suzie asked:
I always wanted a baby and I was even happy to fine out I was pregnant. But yet I’m kinda scared. As for right now. I don’t have my own place, and it’s just me and my mother. I do have a job but I don’t think I’ll have enough to buy wonderful things for my baby. I always told myself if I ever have a baby I want to get the things that I never had as a kid. I don’t even know how I’m going to make it with taking care of a baby. In my mind i was thinking about adoption! But yet! I don’t think I would handle too well to give up a baby that I dream on having. I just want a baby to put a smile on my face and put a smile on hers. ( its a girl )
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I always wanted a baby and I was even happy to fine out I was pregnant. But yet I’m kinda scared. As for right now. I don’t have my own place, and it’s just me and my mother. I do have a job but I don’t think I’ll have enough to buy wonderful things for my baby. I always told myself if I ever have a baby I want to get the things that I never had as a kid. I don’t even know how I’m going to make it with taking care of a baby. In my mind i was thinking about adoption! But yet! I don’t think I would handle too well to give up a baby that I dream on having. I just want a baby to put a smile on my face and put a smile on hers. ( its a girl )
Please help me what to do?
December 21st, 2009 at 4:21 pm
no! watch that show where they reunite adopted adults w/ their biological family. sad :’(
PEOPLE PLZZZ HELP ME WITH MINE! BEST ANSWER ASAP TO THE FIRST MEANINGFUL OPINION! livelaughlove
December 24th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
This is touch, but at lest your looking at the options of whats best for the child. I think in the end if you want this baby, you will find a way to look after it. But if your dead certain you can’t look after it, then maybe adoption is the best thing. It’s a sad choice for you, but i think your being sensible about it. Penny
December 26th, 2009 at 8:19 pm
The fact that you WANT a baby and always HAVE
shows that you should keep her. No matter when you
have your baby, you can always further your education
and make a better life, but it wont be easy.
If you want and love your baby enough, keep her.
Your her mommy. She will be your pride and joy,
the love of your life and everything!
Maybe your lifestyle is bad NOW, but might not be LATER
and when it gets better, you might wish she was right there with you.
No chances, god put that baby in your belly for you, no1 else!
Good Luck! tiffers2435
December 30th, 2009 at 5:40 am
keeeepp!!!!!!!!!
putting her for adoption wont keep a smile on her face cause shell neverr kno who gave her birth..trust me ! ……………
December 31st, 2009 at 5:53 am
Adoption is a temporary solution to a permanent problem.
Abortion is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Keeping a baby you can’t afford and/or aren’t ready for is a formula for disaster
Adoption is like dropping a pet off at the shelter, getting a loving, (non-abusive) family is NOT guaranteed
Any idiot can have sex, but it takes much more to be a responsible, mature and financially stable parent. Age DOES matter! Maturity is gained through life experiences and life experiences are obtained over time.
Getting knocked up doesn’t magically make you mature or a responsible adult!
Girls 5yrs old and up can give birth and have been for centuries, but that doesn‘t mean they SHOULD! So don’t even think for a second that “age doesn’t matter”
I would LOVE to know what 5yr old is a fit mother? Or even a 10yr old?!
(website for proof)
h t t p : / / e n . w i k i p e d i a . o r g / w i k i / L i s t _ o f _ y o u n g e s t _ b i r t h _ m o t h e r s
abortion is simply a medical procedure to remove a parasitic organism
$200-$1,000 (abortion) will save your life/future, his life/future, and keep your parents from humiliation.
Having a knocked up teen daughter is a failure on your parents.
Do you realize that you’re a direct reflection of their ability to be good parents, right?
People will judge THEM by what YOU do.
Keeping a baby YOU can’t afford or take care of is NOT “brave”, “mature” or “responsible” but it is in fact irresponsible, selfish, and just plain dumb!
If your PARENTS wanted another child then THEY would have had one. If you can’t care for a baby independently then you have NO business having one!
Did you know just giving birth in a hospital costs thousands of dollars alone?
—————-
Basics for being a successful parent
(the ideal situation)
be at least 21 (25+ is best)
be married (or have life partner)
have at least $5,000 just for the baby
both own cars
both have careers (not just jobs)
both have degrees
I’m adopted, and the system is flawed! (I was lucky and got adopted into a wealthy and loving family, but that’s rare.) The world already has TOO many unwanted kids, so don’t choose adoption either. Chances are you’re kid will end up abused or on the streets anyways.
I had an abortion when I was 18 and it was the best decision I ever made for myself! (I had plans and a future ahead of me) I challenge anyone to make me regret it too. SgtShamy
December 31st, 2009 at 6:29 am
I think u need to make this decision on ur own..I put my son up for adoption when i was 19 due to the fact i couldn’t give him what he needed in life at the time and I knew it was the right decision..It was, don’t get me wrong the hardest thing I have ever done, but he is happy and knows who I am and I am now the proud mother of a beautiful baby and to this day I see and keep in touch with my first child…raising a child is hard work u may want a baby but don’t be selfish, that baby has to come first! Good luck and god bless that baby and u! remember u can pick the family, i looked at over 2,800 profiles of families before i found the perfect fit, adoptions r open and u can have ur say in it Smalls
January 2nd, 2010 at 7:28 pm
Only you know what’s right for you and your baby. There is no “right” thing to do.
If you think you are ready to handle being a mother and can take care of the child financially and emotionally, then keep her. Being able to provide fancy things for your child is not what makes a good parent. As cheesy as it sounds, all you need is love.
If you want to wait a bit longer to have a child or don’t feel ready, maybe adoption is a good option for you. There are many types of adoption, including kinds where you get regular updates on the child and visitation. Look into all of your options and make a choice that’s right for you. Fizzy ツ
January 3rd, 2010 at 5:04 am
i think that you shouldnt put her on adoption, think about when she is older, she will want to be or meet her mother and you well regret not being with her you dont have too give her expensives things except love , theres alot of programs out there for single mother that offer you help trust me you will regret not seeing her smile back at you i have a baby girl and i love her very much hmmwatsnew
January 4th, 2010 at 3:12 pm
You have to do what feels totally right for you. I think that giving a baby up for adoption is the most wonderful thing you can do for a child if you do not feel equipped to give the little one a good home.
If you feel that you can give the baby a good home, and have any reservations about giving it up, then you need to think long and hard about your decision. (We sure don’t want you giving up your baby to a good home and then later reconsidering your decision. That is a lot of heartbreak for the adopting family!)
You need to talk to your Mom about this. Kids don’t need for you to buy them “wonderful things.” They need a parent who is totally there for them! If you are not a ‘totally there’ parent, please give the child up for adoption! This is not a “Me First” situation! Mary C
January 4th, 2010 at 11:13 pm
You have 2 really good things going for you. You have your Mom with you and hopefully she’ll provide you with some support. You love this baby already and want the best for her. Being a parent isn’t about giving your child everything she wants, its about giving her everything she needs. You are already giving her love and have shelter. Will you be able to feed and clothe her? I think you will be just fine. Don’t give her up unless you are 100% sure its the right thing for you. I don’t know why you’re not working but if you have your baby girl to take care of I’m sure that will motivate you to take any honest job you come across and keep working to better both of your lives. Good luck! Heather
January 7th, 2010 at 4:09 pm
I was adopted as a baby. I thank God almost every day that my birth mother had the courage to give me up. She was single and without a job at the time. I was raised by two loving parents who were able to give me things that she could not have. Because she had the strength to do what was best for me, we both were able to live better lives than we would have had she kept me.
Do what is best for your child, whether that is keeping it or allowing someone to adopt and you will always be able to take comfort in that. mtn_viking
January 8th, 2010 at 2:54 am
yuu might think yuu want too givee her up,
Lil One 
buht when yuu hold that little girl in your arms
your mind will change completely.
she is a part of yuu & what if the family dosent treat her right?
what if shes in another state?
trust me yuu will regret it.
keep your baby and try your hardest.
everything will get better.
keep the baby hunn. good luck make the right decision.
i hope i helped
January 11th, 2010 at 9:25 am
There’s more to life than wonderful things.
No. I don’t think putting your daughter up for adoption is the right thing to do.
Being young and poor is not a reason to put a child up for adoption. You will grow and age. You will educate yourself, and eventually make more money.
Until then, you take it 1 day at a time, just like the rest of us.
Feeling inadequate is normal.
Feeling scared is normal.
Relax, breathe…you and the baby will be fine. Allanas
January 11th, 2010 at 11:01 am
Feeling scared is completely normal - I’m married, old(ish), and having a planned baby in a few months and I still get moments of “AAAH, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO”. Don’t let that panic voice make your choices for you. Even though right now you are living with your mom and you are worried about money, you don’t know what the future holds. As long as you can provide food and shelter, and you want to raise the baby then you should do so. Its scary, but its doable, and you may be surprised at how many people will help you out and what resources are there for you to use. A baby needs more then love, its true, but a baby doesn’t care if its in a second hand crib and clothes from the thrift shop. Good luck, regardless of your choice. Pretentia
January 14th, 2010 at 6:43 am
Being a mother is all about giving a child a safe loving home not being rich. I know people who are poor and still provide for their children who are very happy kids. Pip
January 15th, 2010 at 4:45 pm
I think you have already decided what is best for you and your child but are experiencing normal first time mommy jitters. It is a scary thought, to think that you will be responsible for another person’s well being but, huge BUT, you already know that you want to parent and that you are capable of doing so.
Your baby doesn’t need a fancy house, a pony, pool or private schools to succeed. What your child needs is love, support, happiness and her basic needs met. Understand that basic needs mean nutritious food, not 5 star restaurants, decent clothing, not name brands and designers, a stable home, not a mansion in Beverly Hills and a summer house in the Hamptons and most importantly love, love that you are obviously already giving her.
There are plenty of social programs to help get you started. There is no shame in asking for and accepting temporary assistance so that you can set up your own and gain some stability. If you are feeling shame over the idea of accepting such temporary help think of it this way; you take the help now and when your own situation is better you give back to the community by volunteering your time, offering monetary donations to worthwhile causes and enriching your own community. Think of it as a loan, not a hand out. There are many ways to contribute back to the community that has helped you! Even the richest of us can fall on hard times and need a leg up. Adoption would not guarantee your child would never experience poverty and I know that poverty is easier to deal with when you are with family than when you are alone, adoption can be a very “alone” place to live.
Best of luck! You will be an amazing mom if you give yourself the chance. Andraya searchin for Jay11/29/94
January 18th, 2010 at 11:23 am
In my opinion you should not put her up for adoption. If you are not on drugs, do not drink alcohol and you have a job there is absolutely no reason why you should. Remember even if you gave the baby everything and more when she was little, she’ll never remember. You have plenty of time to get your stuff together while she is little and get things going so that you can give her everything when shes old enough to remember, but usually for kids your love is the most important. I had my son at 17 years old, all I had was a job and I lived with my mom. Guess what? I raised him all by myself, his dad left me when i was 13 weeks pregnant and I ended up graduating high school, graduating college and today he is about to turn 9 years old and is doing great. I never thought I would be able to do it but I did it and he is very happy with his life.
You will most likely regret giving her up, especially later in life when you have no idea where she is or what she is doing. I would say leave that for a very last resort if you think you cant pay for her to eat and her clothing (which even the state can help with). dlindquist83
January 19th, 2010 at 6:18 am
No, its not the right thing to do.
You will be told it is, that it is selfless, noble and all that crap but it isn’t; its unnatural and abnormal.
Life is hard…regardless of what point in time you have a child. Adoption is not a sure thing for your baby to have a great life. They might, but they might have a crap life. You can’t know. And buying beautiful things for your baby… that is SO unimportant. Babies don’t care about the gliding chair, the fancy quilt cover that costs $100 or more when they will be just as warm with an old blanket in their Mama’s arms. They don’t care about the cute little clothes, the hats, the toys etc. What THEY care about is the sound of their Mama’s voice… the gentle rhythm of their Mama’s heartbeat; sounds they knew while growing inside you. She wants to hear you, feel you and know she is loved. Babies only cost as much as their mother wants them to cost in the choices she makes. What your baby has or doesn’t have is in no way a reflection on you how much you love her so please don’t be concerned. I always wanted things for my kids that I didn’t get as well. That’s normal. You will… in different ways.
Yes, its scary being pregnant unplanned. And it gets scarier the more people push and shove you and make you feel that the only way to show your love to your baby is to give him/her away. Please don’t believe that.
At the end of the day, it is YOUR choice. If you decide to place, please do some research first; read books about adoption from the perspective of adopted persons; blogs written by mothers who have placed, felt pressured to place or had their children taken for adoption. Arm yourself with knowledge so you can make the choice. Personally, I say keep your child, you will find a way. Your troubles are temporary, situations can change at any time but adoption is permanent.
All the best to you and your wee girl.
Congratulations
myst1998
January 19th, 2010 at 9:24 am
I dont believe that lack of money is a reason to place a child for adoption. It is not easy and there is assistance out there for you, and I dont have a problem with my tax money going to help when a single mother is trying to provide for their child. adoption is for people who are not ready to parent for various reasons. you do have to consider that you will be responsible for this little life, she will need you for everything, you wont be able to go out on a whim with your friends and you will miss out on alot of the things that others in your peer group will be enjoying. being a parent is a wonderful mix of love laughter sacrafice and responsibility. a child does not give for a long time they just take. she wont be like a doll that you can just put away when you are tired and dont feel like dealing with her. you cant take her out at 11 at nite to hang out with friends, some guys will not be ready for the responsibility and you will feel hurt at times because of it. at first your fiiends will surround you and your baby but then they will go on with there lives. if you are prepared for all of that then by all means keep her, love her and in several years she will love you back. Do what ever you can to finish school and go on to higher education. I was alone and poor when I had my son. it took alot to raise him and it was not easy. I have made it and I am no longer poor and have adopted 3 other children. I have a college degree and I made a better life for my son and for the rest of my children. I had to consider all of the above and I realised that I was ready to parent and did, you have to think beyond just a baby to put a smile on your face because you babysit someone elses child to get that. you will have alot more frowns than smiles and alot less sleep. But if you are prepraed to make that sacrifice then you should keep her. If you just want a baby to love and make you smile but still want to be a kid and do all of the things your peers are doing then you place. 1craftymomma
January 22nd, 2010 at 5:42 pm
From reading this, its obvious that you want a child. You seem young but being pregnant must be scary. If you feel like, with the money that you’re making, that you will be able to provider for her and protect her then by all means keep her. But if you’re not going to be able to support and provide for her, don’t take away from her that opportunity to have a life that you may not be able to give her. Adoption is a wonderful option; it may be the most difficult thing that you may EVER do but at least you know that she will be able to live a life that you may not be able to provide for her. If you feel that you have the strength, courage and will-power to take care a young infant then be the mother that you always wanted to be. Your baby will be grateful towards you for making the right decision for her, getting her wonderful things for her is the least of your worries right now. If you decide to raise her, it will be one of the most challenging things to do. Ultimately, you have decide. Not your mother and not anyone on yahoo answers. The choice is yours but you have to remember that whatever decision you make, will affect your daughter. I wish you all the luck and stay strong. nehajs
January 26th, 2010 at 1:21 am
I think so much of adoption that I hang out here waiting for women like you to ask this question.
You will be doing a huge disservice to your child, yourself and your mother if you surrender your child.
Of all the things you didn’t get as a child, that you want to be able ot provide as a mother, which one would have been worth trading “your” mother for?
Every first time parents is scared, even the older ones. It is treading into new unknown territory and it’s a bit frightening.
A different life for your child is guaranteed, a better one is not.
I lost my job 3 years ago and haven’t really worked since. My two youngest children were 14 and 15. Should I have considered adoption for them at that time, so they could have a different life with parents who could afford more than I?
I’m not trying to be mean, I just have very little time and space her on y/a to tell you that if you are already having the second thoughts that you are having, most likely your not going to turn out to be one of the happy to surrender mothers. To be honest, most of the women I talk to who “are” happy with their decision, are in the first few years of making that decision. I was okay with it too for the first few years. Then reality set in.
Money for things will come. You wil find a way. Babies do not need that much until school starts and they don’t’ need much then. You have a job, you have a supportive mother who will no doubt love her grandchild, and you have a steady roof over your head. Do you expect to have the same job at the same rate of pay 5 years from now? It’s temporary, all of it, your housing, education and work situation, being an infant, all temporary. What isn’t temporary is adoption. It is a permanent solution to a temporary situation.
Which toy do you think your child would be willing to trade you for?
and I didn’t even get into the abandonment and trust issues that your child may experience. The attachment disorders, lack of genetic mirroring, lack of hereditary and ancestry due to sealed records, and no medical information EVER depending on where you live. I didn’t say anything about passport denials, drivers license issues, and voting privileges or the wondering of why they weren’t worth keeping.
It’s a long road, its hard, and it gets ugly, re-thing this plan. smarmy
January 29th, 2010 at 11:26 am
If your baby stays with you, he’ll have “more than” I ever had. Because I was adopted, I didn’t get to be raised with my own mother. There is NO GREATER LOSS.
All your child needs is you. Sunny
January 31st, 2010 at 1:03 am
Keep the baby. All she wants is you. Rosie
February 3rd, 2010 at 3:35 am
i think that you have already made your mind up keep her she is your
good luck if you need to talk email me
lisa Lisa N
February 6th, 2010 at 5:07 am
I want to adopt my new unborn.
It’s different for me. I didn’t plan this pregnancy.
I didnt want anymore kids. I have a son already.
I just am not ready to take care of another…
BUT
I excepted the responsibility that i made a mistake.
The stories I read and see on tv how the child come looking for us and are so bitter.
It changed my view on adoption. Especially since i found out parents would adopt kids and sell them into slavery! And Hurt these babies for life. Sexually abuse them and physically.
Do you want your child to go through that.?
I think you should really keep the baby.
No one will take care your unborn like you.
And you want the baby.?
Keep it.
Everything might not be where you want them, but work hard to get there.
Your baby will bring you so much joy. Honesty
February 7th, 2010 at 12:32 am
You should consider all of your options and perhaps consider getting some advice to help you make the right decision. Resources like Sunrise Adoption can give you advise and help you. Good luck! Mhairi P
February 7th, 2010 at 5:05 am
No. Absolutely not.
The only wonderful thing your kid either wants or needs over the next few years is YOU.
DO NOT ABANDON YOUR CHILD TO ADOPTION! 7rin