Comments on: Giving baby for adoption?

By: stitch604

stitch604 — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 17:48:05 +0000

My husband and I are trying to adopt and have learned SOOO much these last few months! In this day and age adoption is meaning something totally different than it did years ago! With open adoption now, women can receive pictures and letters from the adoptive family that allow her to see how the child is being raised. She can also send letters and pictures back so the child can know where they came from etc. As long as the adoptive family is sharing with the child that the adoption was an act of love and not abandonment then the child probably won’t feel those feelings. It is important to make the adoption something special… share with them how exciting it was to adopt them, how it exciting it was to meet the birth family, how God brought them to the birth mother to help her because she was not ready for a baby. Adoption can be beautiful. Some kids will feel those feelings regardless, but some kids who have never been adopted feel that their parents don’t love them so its not only those who have been adopted. I would love to talk with ya sometime! Email me or look me up on yahooIM: stitch604 or stitch604

By: Joanne D

Joanne D — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 17:39:51 +0000

It’s not bad to give your baby up for adoption if you feel you cannot take proper care and raise it. It takes a lot of thought and soul searching to make that decision. Many birthmothers feel the sting of placing their baby for adoption years later, while some are happy with the decision they made and glad they allowed their child to have a better life. We are hoping to adopt and as adoptive parents, would be thrilled to add to our family. We would a child everything life has to offer. Many adopted children are happy and well adjusted. Our adoption website is: Joanne D

By: Angela H

Angela H — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 22:35:47 +0000

I am an adoptive parent, and I assure you that making an adoption plan for your child, if you feel that you can not provide the type of life he/she deserves, is a selfless and wonderful thing. There are many families praying for someone like you who is curageous enough to do what is best for their child, and allow them to become parents at the same time.
With an open adoption you can choose a family that is willing to keep whatever level of contact you wish. Many birthmothers keep regular contact with the adoptive family and child, through letters, emails, and even visits.
Good luck with your decision! Angela H

By: sandi b

sandi b — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 18:15:21 +0000

yes there are always going to be questions in your mind. I had adopted out a son about 17 years ago, I had guilt and worry, I was told that i could see him whenever i wanted and did not.I’ve seen him 3 times since his birth. I have talked with him on and off over the lest 4 months, his younger sister talks to him weekly if not more now she is 12. I am not by any means saying that adoption is a bad thing, there are many wonderful people out there that are just waiting to give a child a good and loving home.
I am however saying that if this is what you have decided to do please be as involved as you can in the whole thing open adoption is always a good option, or there is all kinds of help out there to help you keep your child if you so wish.
Good luck to you in whatever you decide sandi b

By: kittynala

kittynala — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 11:23:52 +0000

Adoption is a very loving choice. You are giving the child a chance at life and a chance at a better life than you think you can provide. You can always consider an open adoption..I’m not sure on the exact particulars of it, but you get to have contact with the child (like pictures and a visit every so often). If you are afraid the child will feel like you didn’t love it, this is a option to keep open so you have the opportunity to show the child you did. kittynala

By: The Lost One

The Lost One — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 10:48:21 +0000

My sister just had a baby last year & had to give her up for adoption. Her & the bf just could not afford a baby & even though my parents insisted they could help we all know their health wouldn’t have allowed it. I don’t know if they’re in your area but go through Christian Family Services. Make sure you get to meet with & pick the family your baby is going to. My sister & her bf did that & it was the best thing. Those people were SOOOOO ecstatic & are thankful every day. You can tell they are WONDERFUL people & that they take good care of the baby. They have money & are able to give that baby everything my sister hoped for….and more. If you get a chance to speak with the people who would be adopting the baby, see if they will be telling the child when they’re old enough to understand. If so, request that they tell the child that it was NOT the fact that you didn’t want them…it was just the fact that you had no money & wouldn’t be able to give them the things you wanted & that you would’ve given anything to be able to. I know if I were adopted then that would put my mind at ease. The couple who adopted my sister’s baby is planning on telling her when she’s old enough to understand. We’re lucky & get to see the little angel grow up from afar. It was a partially open adoption…in the terms that my sister & the couple do not communicate directly but through a case worker. (Last names are also kept confidential.) The case worker passes gifts & such back & forth for them. The couple always sent pics to my sister & they actually made a video of the child’s first year of life for her. We all cried when we saw it. Do some research & check your area for Christian Family Services….you may be able to have the same situation so that you can pick the family & know your baby will be well taken care of. Good luck!

I also had a friend when I was younger who had been adopted shortly after birth. She came from South Korea & the mother just wanted to give her a better chance at life because conditions were apparently very horrible at the time there. She would’ve died if she stayed there. She knew the story & never felt unwanted. She knew she was loved greatly by the people who adopted her & she never thought of them as adopted parents. They were her birth parents to her & she was a very happy person. The Lost One

By: memaw

memaw — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 11:24:27 +0000

I would go through an agency where you could meet the parents if you find it would be hard on you to visit the child then I would write a letter explaining why you had to give it up and that you meet the parents and they choose it to be there baby I know it will be hard on you but some adoption agencies have counseling services available I would call around Good Luck sweetie and I admire you greatly on your decision that makes you a better person. memaw

By: Queen Queso

Queen Queso — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 06:46:46 +0000

I know people who were adopted, too, and, especially the ones who were adopted as older children, always had the mindset that ‘Thank God there was someone who loved me enough to want to take care of me, and not just because they had to.’ But you’re probably thinking of teenagers, with the ‘poor me’ thinking, and all teens go through that phase. Some never grow out of it…

The problem that I can think of is that in the future, the child may not have a complete medical history. A way to resolve this is to have a semi-open or an open adoption, where the adoptive parents and the birth mother keep up some sort of contact, including sending pictures and updates about the child, or actually meeting with the child, or sometimes just keeping each other’s contact information in case something comes up.

It’s very admirable that you have chosen life over death, and it’s equally admirable that you are unselfishly thinking of what’s best for the baby.

If you know that you would not be able to care for a baby the way that a baby needs to be cared for, adoption is a wonderful alternative. There are many great couples, and even single parents, out there that do have the resources to care for a child, but who cannot have one on their own. Many adoption agencies actually let you meet with prospective parents, so you can choose the one that you feel would be best for your child.

Good luck in your decision! Queen Queso

By: jstice4u

jstice4u — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 03:40:35 +0000

There is open adoption. In many cases, you’ll get to spend time with your child and get pictures, cards, and constant updates. I’ve seen several families who had open adoptions that always included the birth mother in birthdays, thanksgivings, holidays, recitals…….they even told their daughter that her birth mother was her mother but she couldn’t take care of her as well as her mom and daddy could.

honestly, there are a lot of good people who for some reason can’t have children and feel it’s healthy for a child they adopt to know from the beginning the truth.

good luck. jstice4u

By: graceincalifornia

graceincalifornia — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 03:38:56 +0000

I think it is wonderful that you will give your baby the gift of life. You will also be giving someone the gift of your baby. We were given that gift twice. We were unable to conceive a child so we adopted a gorgeous little angel. A couple of years later we were able to adopt her brother too. Our daughter was almost 4 years old when we adopted her and she knows she is adopted. She is 9 now and never plays the “poor me” card. If you call an adoption agency they can help you decide which kind of adoption is best for you. There are even open adoptions so that you can still be a part of your child’s life if you so choose. I wish you and your little one the very best in life. graceincalifornia