Giving up my baby for adoption?
Mabel A asked:
I’ve been looking at many adoption agencies in the last couple of days to help me make up my mind. I was going to get an abortion due to lack of money, I wouldn’t even be able to pay for the food ill be consuming in the next couple of months not to think of the hospital bill.Until my friend told me at adoption agencies I can find a couple who r willing to pay for the bill. Is this true? I’m not trying to sound like I’m all about $$. But I’m a full time student and a part time worker wit already bills over my head for da next couple of decades. I just can’t kill a baby. It’s not his or her fault. They shouldn’t have to suffer. Please help..
I’m from R.I by the way.
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I’ve been looking at many adoption agencies in the last couple of days to help me make up my mind. I was going to get an abortion due to lack of money, I wouldn’t even be able to pay for the food ill be consuming in the next couple of months not to think of the hospital bill.Until my friend told me at adoption agencies I can find a couple who r willing to pay for the bill. Is this true? I’m not trying to sound like I’m all about $$. But I’m a full time student and a part time worker wit already bills over my head for da next couple of decades. I just can’t kill a baby. It’s not his or her fault. They shouldn’t have to suffer. Please help..
I’m from R.I by the way.
December 3rd, 2009 at 2:44 am
Don’t know where you are located, but in Illinois, it is legal for the adopting family to pay up to $1,000.00 per month for the mother’s living expenses for like the last 5 months of her pregnancy. I knew a girl who was able to meet all of her living expenses until the birth this way. gerlawgoody1
December 4th, 2009 at 2:06 am
I have 3 children and can’t have anymore and would love to adopt another. I myself was put up for adoption and it was the best thing my birth mom could have done. If you have any questions about anything let me know.
Jen baishagirl28
December 6th, 2009 at 10:12 pm
Yeah I think it’s wrong to kill babys. I think it will take a lot of bravery to have the baby but you can do it! Keep looking up agencies till you find the right one for you. Also there are charities that will help. Look up ones in your area. The salvation army is a good place to start. Good luck and keep your chin up
email me if you need to talk.
Rosie ellacoolgirl
December 8th, 2009 at 1:22 am
There are programs to help you.
Before you get all proud and say you don’t take charity, I have something to say to you.
What goes around comes around. You’ve GIVEN to charity, right? Well, now’s your turn to take some.
Call up the child welfare office, they’ll pay for all of your medical bills. They’ll give you money for food. They’ll give you money for housing. They’ll give you money for school.
All you have to do is fill out the paperwork.
If you can manage to sit on the computer and think of giving your baby away, it’s worth taking 5 minutes to find out what programs are available in your area.
Google it. Take, 2 minutes. Corn is not dog food! No wheat!
December 11th, 2009 at 12:58 am
I commend you for not killing your baby and giving him/her a chance for life. Couples are generally willing to pay medical expenses and monthly bills if necessary. Contact different agencies and see what kind of birthmother support they offer. I’m sure it varies. I was going to adopt through if you’d like to look at them. It has adopting couple profiles and the birthmother gets to pick the parents. If you’re determined this is what you want to do, maybe it would be helpful to pick their parents out. Best wishes and God bless you during this hard decision. MrsMarshall=)
December 11th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Dear Mabel, I know of tribal families in Asia and Africa, that have very little money and would never give up their children for adoption.
Can you imagine the identity problems this child will have in the future?
What does it mean you have current debts? or that you are a student? You know how many students have children in the Gulf countries and how well they manage? They start having children at 16 and 17 and that is the norm. Even in starving africa, they dont give the babies for adoption.
If I were you I would go to a charity and ask for help- anywhere in the world no matter what it would take in order to keep my child.
Adoption does not kill a child physically, but it kills them mentaly.
That is my point of view.
Adopted children that do not know their parents suffer and that is why in many religions it is even prohibited in the same way as abortion. Gigi
December 11th, 2009 at 11:21 pm
First contact social services or welfare, these agencies have programs to help. You can get food, medical coverage and such. I would try this first before you get your hopes up of a future adoptive family paying the expenses. I know they do sometimes pay the medical bills, but who knows if you will be able to find one in your area, especially when you need to be going to the dr for care now.
I know for me being adopted was a good thing. Just make sure it is the right decision for you. Daisey Duck
December 13th, 2009 at 7:20 am
Please be suspicious of people who solicit you for your baby on the internet. It is illegal and completely unethical to do so. You wouldn’t live with a stranger you met online so why make your baby live with random people you met online? kateiskate
December 15th, 2009 at 6:30 am
It is legal for adoptive parents to pay for a set amount of expenses during your pregnancy–even if you don’t use an agency. Good luck whatever your decision is–there are alot of opinions that will be pretty pro or con about your decision even though you didn’t ask that and I am sure you WERE NOT looking for their judgement here. loserguurl
December 15th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
Its good that you didnt do the abortion, but now you have to think about
adoption agencies, most of these have a long list of parents/couples
ready to adopt your child, you will have to meet them, see how they
live, what kind of life they will give your child, their background,
also alot of them help out with childbirth expenses, so you do have to
let them know in the situation you are in and get the help you need. coleblondehead
December 18th, 2009 at 10:41 am
there are many websites. is one of them. you can choose your baby’s parents. even after your child is born you have 48 hours to decide whether or not you want to go thru with the adoption. if you decide to keep your child you can get help thru welfare and food stamps and stuff like that. you seem like a hard working person so i’m all for you getting the help you need. my husband and i are looking into adopting a child if your interested please feel free to email me. timsdarlyn
December 20th, 2009 at 11:48 pm
Kudos to you, for placing the child’s best interest ahead of your own. That takes a very Special and loving person to do that. As for those who suggest checking into welfare, food stamps, ect.
Welfare and food stamps are already on the rise due to the economic situation, that I can assure you will get worse before it gets better. What kind of life will that child have, being brought up on food stamps and welfare. (Which, correct me if I’m wrong but you can only collect welfare now for two years max.) IMO I’d rather give my child a wonderful life, than let him/her grow up on the poverty level. All because I was too selfish to put his/her needs before my own.
Some couples do pay for expenses. Try getting in contact with some local agencies, see how they do things and what their polices are. holy molar
December 21st, 2009 at 2:48 am
Sound like all the people out there say no But you know they arent were you are at. I did it in the 60s It was hard But at least the baby has a good home I kept him for 15 months Then gave him up But I didnt have the help of the family Like most of these people out here have Go to a Dr, and most of them knows of family who want a baby. If he or she is blue eyes and blond hair You wont have the pronlbe I had to beg for food and money in Det, Just to feed myself So I have been there. In the 60s there wasnt all the stuff out there to not have kids I was 4 monthsalone before I knew I was pg I kept telling my self Not Me Ha ha ha I never had another kid Ihad my self fixs My porfile isnt right Im a lady who in her 60s and know what you are going thught But it was worst then People didnt help and looked down at you. Alway remmber a man can alway wipe off and walk away. Thats bull when women say He got me pg. Know he didnt you did If you would of use protect It wouldnt have happen. It will be hard But keep in your mind That you are going to give this baby a loving home. ANd that better then taking him thught all the hell in live because you want to selfish and keep him or her There is two kinds of love and when you love something so much That you want the best for it You are doing the right thing. OH We didnt have Welfare. If you go that way Which you may have to. Dont stay on it and keep your baby We have enough of that going on now But they known that. Now we have people out there having baby for the checks.. What kind of life is that for the both of you I wish I could help you Been thereAnd done that .Good luck Im not into to this point thing.PS Im in S C . And once in while I do think of my son Who is 40 years old But I did the best I could You take care Sorry spell check not working bigbluetoo2
December 23rd, 2009 at 9:58 pm
yes some families will pay for everything Anne M
December 26th, 2009 at 12:20 am
Your baby needs you. Apply for anything and everything. Do whatever you have to do to keep your baby. Giving a child up is traumatic for both of you. Remember this child has a father too. Get him involved. snowwillow20