Has anyone gotten an abortion or gave there baby up for adoption? How do you feel after?
Morgan asked:
Becuase i am pregnant and im 14. People have been telling me adoption and what not. But i’ve heard theres a lot of regret. Is there? I dont know if i want that. Help.
Please..
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Becuase i am pregnant and im 14. People have been telling me adoption and what not. But i’ve heard theres a lot of regret. Is there? I dont know if i want that. Help.
Please..
July 30th, 2009 at 8:35 am
You are so young, please consider adoption. Please do not abort the child, it will be much harder to overcome than the adoption. If you are nervous about the adoption then talk to a counselor. Good luck, you sound like a nice girl.
answer mine?
August 1st, 2009 at 5:35 pm
That is a personal choice only you can make. Talk to your parents, see what they say. Adopting a baby to a couple is a wonderful thing to do, but it is a very personal thing to decide.
August 3rd, 2009 at 9:56 pm
Everyone feels different.
A lot of people feel regret after both situations.
August 5th, 2009 at 7:35 am
I don’t have first hand experience but my moms boss adopted a baby girl, Natalie, 3 years ago. It was an open adoption. Natalie’s mother was very young and knew she couldn’t provide her daughter with the life she deserved. So she chose an open adoption with my mom’s boss’s family. The birth mom gets pictures and updates and even has the option of speaking to Natalie on the phone if she wants to. Natalie’s adoptive parents get to love and cherish this precious little girl as their own. She is truly a blessing! And Natalie gets a wonderful life with parents who love her and can provide her with all the things her birth mother was afraid she wouldn’t have.
Whatever you choose to do is your decision. I jus want you to know there are other options out there! Open adoptions are amazing because you can still see your baby, if you want to. You will have given a wonderful gift to everyone, life to your child, and a child to a couple who wanted one more than life itself.
August 8th, 2009 at 7:45 am
At least with ADOPTION, a beautiful little baby kill have a life with a family who cares =)
Many couples have given away their children, and don’t regret it, because they know that the children are with better families.
You can have an open adoption, where you can still talk to your baby.
Please don’t abort it.
I’m 19, and pregnant.
I’m a model, and many said ‘you should’ve aborted it’ because it’ll ruin my career, but I’m going to take responsibility for my actions.
August 11th, 2009 at 4:05 am
Omg. no. Keep your baby. this baby is apart of you and the person the slept with. That baby will always wonder once he/she grows up who his/her real parents are and maybe want to find you. Think about how he/she will feel about his parents giving him up. Or how you would feel when he/she would find you.
Abortion- dont exist in my vocabulary.
August 12th, 2009 at 5:40 am
I’m adopted, and the system is flawed! The world already has TOO many unwanted kids, so don’t choose adoption. Chances are you’re kid will end up abused or on the streets anyways. You will ALWAYS know your kid is out there somewhere and all the “what if” questions will haunt you!
I had an abortion when I was 18 and it was the best decision I ever made for myself! (I had plans and a future ahead of me) I challenge anyone to make me regret it too.
Any idiot can have sex, but it takes much more to be a responsible, mature and financially stable parent. Age DOES matter! Maturity is gained through life experiences and life experiences are obtained over time.
Getting knocked up doesn’t magically make you mature or a responsible adult! Girls 5yrs old and up can have healthy births and have been for centuries. So don’t even think for a second that “age doesn’t matter”
abortion is simply a medical procedure to remove a parasitic organism
$200-$1,000 (abortion) to save your life/future, his life/future, and keep your parents from humiliation.
Having a knocked up teen daughter is a failure on your parents.
Do you realize that you’re a direct reflection of their ability to be good parents, right?
People will judge THEM by what YOU do.
Keeping a baby YOU can’t afford or take care of is NOT “brave”, “mature” or “responsible” but it is in fact irresponsible, selfish, and just plain dumb!
If your PARENTS wanted another child then THEY would have had one. If you can’t care for a baby independently then you have NO business having one!
Did you know just giving birth in a hospital costs thousands of dollars alone?
—————-
Basics for being a successful parent
(the ideal situation)
be at least 21 (25+ is best)
be married (or have life partner)
have at least $5,000 in savings
both own cars
both have careers (not just jobs)
both have degrees
August 14th, 2009 at 12:59 am
Your regret you may feel about giving your child to a loving family is far outweighed by the all-consuming grief that one must feel after aborting an innocent baby.
I didn’t give my child up, and I didn’t abort her either. I’m not judging you, but the RIGHT path is not always the EASIEST.
Good luck in whatever you choose.
August 16th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
well an abortion in my religion is wrong but you could set it up for adoption is the best thing
but you can keep up with it and be there for it
that is the best thing for him or her
August 19th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
ok well i had an abortion 4 years ago and i am currently pregnant now. since i had the abortion i was at first numb and blocked it out and then about a 3 years after something triggered back the memory of it and i remembered everything about it. since then i have gone through all emotions after it i have nearly overdosed because of what i have done. i think about my child every day and wonder what he or she would have looked like. reading up on babies made me feel even worse because i knew alll i was told by the doctor was wrong and he said the heart only beated at 3 months and i found out it was at about 28 days it starts to beat. every child i see is a reminder of what i dont have here with me and of course i have a story behind this as well and its not just straight forward.
being pregnant now is hard and im now coming up to the 34 week mark and i am so guilty now for the life i chose to end. but what you have to remember is that its your decision at the end of the day but i have known a lot of people now who have also been through it including friends and others who have also regretted their decision. its a life changing decision and nothing will be the same again either way but i would if i could turn back the time and re make that fateful decision and keep my baby. my reasons why you might ask?
well i thought i could never cope and somebody was going to kill me but at a time like this all you are doing is running on auto pilot and you are unsure of everything and what to do.]
but a human is a marvelous thing and we are very resiliant and can actually get through anything if we put our minds to it. If you want to ask me anything feel free to do so. take care and i hope you make the best decision abortion isn’t a simple option as it’s made out to be. abortion is actually a dangerous procedure.
August 22nd, 2009 at 3:08 am
One of my best friends in the world had an abortion. I was there with her at the clinic and afterward. She was fine with it, until about 5 weeks after. Another one of our friends had a baby and she realized that she could have had one of them… I can’t imagine what she was thinking or feeling. All she would say is that she really, really regretted the abortion. She went to counseling and is doing better now.
I am 22 with a 4 1/2 old daughter. I did not have the money, maturity, or know how to raise a baby, but I did. You have to grow up fast and work really hard but it is do-able.
Adoption is not as bad as you hear it is. I have a sister who works with the system and they do everything they can to make it easy for you and the baby. Babies usually get adopted quickly. At your first doctor appointment they should ask you if you would like to speak to a social services counselor. She/He can explain things much better than any of us.
Bluntly this is how it is.
1) The baby stays with you. You and your family may have struggles and hardships, but, you know where he/she is and the he/she is taken care of.
2) Adoption- You can do open or closed. He/She at least gets a chance at life. You may wonder and worry at times but you have the choice to keep the adoption open.
3)Abortion- The “issue” is taken care of, but do to the fact that at point the baby did exist you have to deal with yourself.
Talk to experts. your family, and your friends but in the end the decision is yours. So make the best one for you.
August 24th, 2009 at 9:57 am
Honestly, I am not for abortion, but all people are different. I was talking to my baby daddy about adoption when we first found out I was pregnant. I decided to keep my baby. It is 17 months later now, and I am enjoying every second with my son. I was 17 years old when I got pregnant. Now I think back to when we were considering adoption, and I am so glad I did not put him up for adoption. My feelings changed alot during my pregnancy. (Due to hormones and knowing that my son was there no matter where I went.) I feelings grew for him as time progressed. but keeping my son was the one thing that made me feel right. You have to find out what is right for you, and what makes YOU feel right. Weather it is abortion, adoption, or raising him, you have to make sure that it is the right decision for you. You also have time to think things through. You can also talk to a counselor at school or at a planned parenthood, so you can discuss your options, and how you feel about. the options. They can help you make your decision, and possibly help you make the one decision that you feel comfortable with.
August 25th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
Many women regret abortion, but not one woman ever regrets birthing her baby.
Adoption may be a good choice, but keeping the baby may also be a good choice for you. Go to a crisis pregnancy center and talk to a counselor about what will work best for you. Here is a link so you can find one:
I don’t know your situation, but statistically speaking, most girls age 14 and younger get pregnant because of men over the age of 18. As the age of the girl goes down, the age of the man goes up, according to statistics. If you had sex with a man that is an adult, that man committed “statutory rape,” which is a crime, even if you agreed to have sex with him. It is wrong for an adult to use a teenager as a sexual object, instead of seeking a relationship with another adult. If this happened, you can report it to the police.
August 26th, 2009 at 9:06 pm
There can be regret if a woman aborts OR chooses adoption. Only you know which choice is the better one. Do you want to remain pregnant? If not, then your ONLY alternative would be abortion. Do you want to be a mother? If not, then you can either abort OR choose adoption. Would you be able to give the resulting child away after carrying it in your body for 40 weeks? Would you be able to go through with an abortion? These are the questions you need to ask yourself.
August 29th, 2009 at 5:02 am
I think you should make this decision sooner rather than later. You might feel worse about it if you decide to get an abortion later on, just because humans have some dumb attachment to things that have any resemblance to the human form. Personally I wouldn’t find issue with it unless the creature can do math and read The Origin of Species, but not everyone feels this way. Good luck, and don’t fret your decision too much, whatever it may be. Take care.
August 30th, 2009 at 1:28 am
From the discussions I’ve had with my female peers who’ve gone through these choices, the ones who gave up children to adoptions have had many more issues with regret, depression, etc. There have even been a few suicide attempts. But this is a personal decision, one that you have to make on your own. You could regret either way; you could not have regret at all. As long as you know that you’re making the best choice for all involved, you’ll be fine.
You may want to try talking to someone; perhaps you can find a counselor through Planned Parenthood.
September 1st, 2009 at 6:59 pm
regret?? decide though..adoption gives your child a better life. abortion kills it. sooooo id say regret will happen regardless. why were you having sex at 14 anyway? youre old enough to know this could happen…and dont let peope tell you its not a babt. i work in OB, i assure you it IS alive in there..
September 4th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
You must be scared. Best to talk to your parents and a counselor about this one. And do some soul searching. Either choice you make, your stuck with it for life. Personally, I couldn’t do either. And no matter what, Don’t let anyone shame you for this. By accepting this child, that in itself takes a lot of responsibility, and you can do it. Good Luck hun
September 6th, 2009 at 12:41 am
I, like yourself, became pregnant at an early age (15 in my case). In the beginning of my pregnancy I was dead set against abortion, as my pregnancy progressed and I came to the full realization that I was going to have a baby-I became terrified. One night I began bleeding and hoped I was having a miscarriage-I was actually relieved. The bleeding stopped and I knew I was still pregnant, it was at that time I knew abortion was my only option-I did not want to become a teenage mother. My only regret is that I was irresponsible enough to become pregnant. I DO NOT for one moment regret my abortion. I know that having the abortion is the reason why I was able to continue a normal teenage life. I finished high school, went to college, got married,have a successful career. I made a mistake by getting pregnant and I saved my own life my having an abortion. I cannot tell you what to do, but you will have to make this decision on your own.
Best Wishes