How can I convince my girlfriend to give our baby up for adoption?
kingstryker04 asked:
I am a 21/m and I dont know what to do. I am trying to convince my girlfriend to give our baby up for adoption. She is about 5 months pregnant. Im trying to convince her to do it because we have a very bad relationship. She beats me and puts me down all the time. She doesn’t help me with the bills even though she does work a full time job. I pay for everything. She doesnt want to. She doesnt help around the house either. We have very little money and cant afford to stay in our home. we are close to being homeless. I think it would be best to give the baby up becasue it will go to a nice home with a family who can devote the time and love and support a baby needs. She wont listen to me though. She doesnt care what I think or how I feel. I am so scared and dont know what to do. Is there anyway I can make her give it up through the courts or anything. It is in the best interest. Please help?
This entry was posted
on Thursday, January 22nd, 2009 at 12:00 am and is filed under Pregnancy.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
I am a 21/m and I dont know what to do. I am trying to convince my girlfriend to give our baby up for adoption. She is about 5 months pregnant. Im trying to convince her to do it because we have a very bad relationship. She beats me and puts me down all the time. She doesn’t help me with the bills even though she does work a full time job. I pay for everything. She doesnt want to. She doesnt help around the house either. We have very little money and cant afford to stay in our home. we are close to being homeless. I think it would be best to give the baby up becasue it will go to a nice home with a family who can devote the time and love and support a baby needs. She wont listen to me though. She doesnt care what I think or how I feel. I am so scared and dont know what to do. Is there anyway I can make her give it up through the courts or anything. It is in the best interest. Please help?
January 23rd, 2009 at 5:32 am
No, you can’t force her to terminate her parental rights. If she is that bad, leave her but PAY HER CHILD SUPPORT. Just be there for the child, not for her.
January 24th, 2009 at 3:36 am
I suggest that you two have a one on one conversation.
Honestly, you can’t force anyone to do anything, but you can give your say, especially as the father.
January 25th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
Sounds like you need to get out of the relationship. Don’t feel you need to stay together for the baby. Get out but support the baby financially, emotionally, and any other way possible. You can’t force the mother to give the baby up and your odds in the legal system is not good.
January 26th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
I’m sorry she treats you like that. However, there’s no way you can talk a woman into giving up her baby. The best thing for you to do is to get out of the relationship and be the best father to that baby you can be when he/she gets here. She will have to let you have visitation as long as you pay child support. It’s not the end of the world.
January 29th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
First of all, if your relationship is so bad, why are you staying with her? Is it for the baby? If so, I think you have your answer right there. Once she realizes that she is very likely to be raising this baby alone, she may reconsider the adoption option.
If that is not the reason, you need to rethink your plans. While adoption is a wonderful option, it is a very difficult decision to make, and really one that needs to be prepared for at an early point in the pregnancy. You do not have the bond with the baby she does, because you don’t feel it growing inside of you everyday. You don’t feel the kicks and the hiccups, and all the little things that she feels that make it real to her. She already feels like a mother. don’t get me wrong, your reasons and intentions for the baby are noble and selfless, but the decision will be 100 times harder for her to make than you.
So I would suggest that you figure out where you see the two of you in the future. If you strongly believe you will stay together, then you really need to try to work things out with her.
February 1st, 2009 at 12:16 pm
What you can suggest is that you get together with your families and talk about what is best at this point. It seems to be a maturity on your part to realize you dont have a good relationship and its not healthy for the baby to bring it into it as it is now, its too bad you didn’t use precautions to prevent the pregnancy before hand. She may be thinking that she can hold on to you if she has the child…a child is not a solution to a bad relationship. Having a child in a great relationship can cause stress so in a bad one it only makes things worse. You can suggest if you feel you need to that you can sign away your parental rights and she will be the one responsible for the child once you do this in court and its legal…there is no child support.
February 4th, 2009 at 9:17 am
Why would you stay in an abusive relationship? That is not a good place for a baby either. File a report so its on record. Then, when the baby comes, make every effort to get the baby away from her (legally of course). The baby does not need an abusive mother. But, you cannot force someone to give up their baby. Don’t abandon the baby, it may need you. Best of luck.
February 7th, 2009 at 3:02 am
i think that you are right, and if your money and wife and beating you is really that bad then you should get some help
February 8th, 2009 at 6:43 am
Sounds like you really want to do what you think is best for the baby. You are to be commended for that. Often females think in more emotional terms, and maybe she is thinking of her own feelings rather what may be best for the baby. Maybe you can, in a quiet, positive moment ask her to truly consider what is best for the baby, not for her heart. And keep in mind that the harder you push for adoption, the more she may pull back. Then again, maybe she thinks it is a way for the two of you to stay together (a misconception, statistically). Maybe make a list — take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. Put in big letters “BABY” on the top, then list the pros FOR THE BABY of you two parenting (or her parenting along), and then the pros FOR THE BABY of placing the baby with an adoptive family. Maybe that will spark some thinking.
February 10th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
‘If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”