I have given a child up. It’s a hurt that never heals. Only you can make this difficult decision. Make sure you look into services in your town, that can help you and your baby. The father needs to help too.

Open adoptions are not legally enforceable. You might never see your baby again or maybe you’ll be like me and find her when she’s 30. snowwillow20

Is it because you are single? So am I, and let me tell you, it is NOT as bad as people make it out to be. Now, I DO have the support of my family, and that helps a ton, but I am still the one that provides the support for my son, I am the one that raises him, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. If you are wanting a “Two parent home” for your child? Remember, that the divorce rate is out of control, and more than likely, your child will end up being raised by a single parent anyway. Then what? You loose a child, your child looses his heritage (and YOU, which is all he really wants anyways) all for a situation which is no better than he would have had anyways REMEMBER! You will not always be single! THIS IS TEMPORARY!!!

Is it because you are young? Honestly, people used to have children at 16 ROUTINELY and did a great job with them. It is an extreamly new development that women wait untill their 30’s to have children. I am 21 now, and let me tell you, I am a wonderful mother. I love my son more than anything. Age is only a number, you CHOOSE to be a good or bad parent! REMEMBER! You will not always be young! THIS IS TEMPORARY!!!

Is it because you are in school? So am I. I am in Nursing School. I go to school at night, so my mom or my aunt can watch Jayden. Going to school while being a mom is not that bad. So you have to move your schedual around a little, so what? I promise, it pays off in the end. Being a mom is SOOOO much more fun than getting drunk every weekend at a frat house. And guess what, you can STILL party sometimes, you just find a babysitter for the night. I have never met a woman that became a mother and COMPLETELY gave up having a little fun every once in a while. REMEMBER! You will not always be in school! THIS IS TEMPORARY!!!

Is it because you don’t think that you will be able to support the child? I thought that too. I had to move back in with my Mom, I got on Medicaid, WIC, and other government programs. You will get AWESOME scholarships and Grants for having a child. I will end up oweing next to nothing for school. You child does’t want a fancy nursery, name brand clothes, and a trust fund, he wants YOU! You are ALL that he knows, and ALL that he wants. A baby is accutely aware of who his mother is immediatly after birth. This is the modern world, people will NOT allow you and you child to go without basic necessities. There are second hand stores that have REALLY cute stuff for next to nothing. REMEMBER! You will not always be struggling! THIS IS TEMPORARY!!!

I really hope you do your research (and that does NOT mean asking adoption agencies what they think, they make money from separting you from your child)

I also hope that you do not make a decision untill after your baby is born. There is NO rush, why don’t you try to parent him for a while? At least then you will know… Nurse Autumn Intactivist NFP

This part of your answer has me concerned. You ARE deserving enough to raise your baby if you want to. There are programs out there to help you financially.

Just because you are yonug and poor doesn’t mean you have to give your baby up.

If you are SURE you want to place your child for adoption, then do some reseacrch and see if you can find a reputable agency, or contact family services.

Good luck in whatever decision you decide to make. kidmindi

A baby needs its mother. Period. There is no substitute for it’s mother and while it may love an adoptive family, it will always miss you and always wonder what’s wrong with it that it you didn’t keep it.

All of those ‘deserving’ people that want to be parents?? Parenting is not a right. If you can’t get pregnant on your own that does not give you the right to go around looking for young women to give you their baby. That is ridiculous, selfish, and extremely entitled of people.

Your baby doesn’t need material things or whatever it is you think an adoptive family can “provide”. It needs you. And don’t you think it would be great for your kid to grow up seeing you work hard to make a life for the two of you? That kid would grow up with a healthy appreciation for hard work and the understanding that anything worth having you can have if you are willing to put in the blood, sweat, and tears to get it. kateiskate

Of course you are frightened, and nervous and unsure of your ability. I can promise you that every mother who ever birthed a child felt that way exactly. I did every time. I know now, almost 42 years later, that God knew more about who should parent my child than the Social Workers did. I wager She knows you can do it, too. Sly

You can also decide the level of contact you want with the child after the adoption - none, cards and pictures, visits etc. However you should know that “open adotpion” agreements are not enforceable so you need to try to assess how sincere the family is about ongoing contact. Also if you don’t know each other’s full names and contact info the adoption is not open, so don’t count on contact in the future.

I hope you will find the solution that is right for you and your child. We adopted a beautiful baby who is now 3 years old and the light of our lives. Her first mom doesn’t want contact right now, but I’m hoping later she’ll get to know my daughter and we can get to know her better. cmc

Also, you are giving someone the child they have always wanted. You are matching that kid up with someone who really wants them, and can take care of them. You are doing a good thing.

I’m adopted. My Birth mom was in a similar situation as you, and I truly appreciate that she loved and cared for me enough to give me up.

Now, to give her/him up for adoption…tell the hospital. They have more than one agency and will help you. If that does not work, you could try one of the pro-life groups. They can be a little goofy, but they usually have the good agencies and are more than willing to help you out.

I really hope I helped you. If you go into any trouble, go to a hospital. They are legally obligated to help you, and they will just take the kid.
There are different types of agency’s, depending on what you want. Some will just take the baby and find it a good home. Others will involve you in finding the family you feel is right. Others will even council you through out the situation. It depends what you want.

Good luck. Tersa B

There are different types and many different ways to go about trying to figure things out. I PM’d you with some resources.

In the mean time, depending on how far you are along…take your time. You might be scared, unsure of what you want to do right now but it might be a good time to journal and get some focus on what adoption and what keeping a child and parenting might mean to you both in the short term and long term. Adoption isn’t right for everyone but it is for a lot of people.

Good luck and wishing good karma your way regardless of your PERSONAL choice is. loserguurl