How much easier is it to adopt an older child compared to a baby?
Shelly asked:
I’m interested in adopting a child. My sister didn’t have any children and ended up adopting identical twin girls from Eastern Europe, they are 13 and have cerebral palsy and both can’t walk. They are very beautiful and sweet and my sister is very close to them….Is it generally easier to adopt an older child? What about an older child with a physical disability? (I’m not interested in those with low mental function though). How hard is it compared to adopting a baby?
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I’m interested in adopting a child. My sister didn’t have any children and ended up adopting identical twin girls from Eastern Europe, they are 13 and have cerebral palsy and both can’t walk. They are very beautiful and sweet and my sister is very close to them….Is it generally easier to adopt an older child? What about an older child with a physical disability? (I’m not interested in those with low mental function though). How hard is it compared to adopting a baby?
July 25th, 2009 at 5:32 am
if u mean mentally and emotionally adopting any child is equally hard. parenting is atough job no matter what the age
July 27th, 2009 at 12:54 am
Either is a big adjustment. From a baby the child doesnt have to readjust to the environment so much because they are so young. some older children can be very difficult to work with and it can be very hard for them to become accustomed to new rules and a new environment. My cousins adopted 3 one girl from russia that is 3 and that was difficult because of a language barrier and teaching her english but she learned alot quicker. She also adopted two boys one with muscular dystrophy and one with adhd. The two of them had gotten used to being able to do as they please and it was difficult to get them into following rules and a schedule. you kind of take a swing in the dark when you adopt i think either way you’ll make it work eventually
July 29th, 2009 at 4:43 am
Everyone wants to adopt babies…they usually adopt because they cant have kids of their own and want the entire experience. Many want to start from infancy to hide the fact of adoption too.
Anyway, its way more difficult to adopt babies, much easier to adopt kids older than 3…tons easier to adopt teens. No one wants to take on ‘all that drama and baggage’ that comes with the kid with an unknown past.
You have to take classes, some children have siblings that cant or wont be separated or those that still need to remain in contact with some members of their biological families.
So many different things are considered in this. I know there are different laws/procedures depending on what state or country you live in. International adoptions are more difficult (I know it doesnt seem that way from TV, but they are).
Google your state and adoption. each state has their own page of children that are up for adoption. Most have pictures and a brief description of the child and they history. They will also give you more input on the process in your area.
I think its great to put your love into a child who really needs it. You are great!
July 31st, 2009 at 8:42 am
Any way of adoption is “hard” or at least should be…
Adopting a child from Foster Care is generally free or nearly free. There is a training and home study process required before matching can start. Some family’s wait longer then others–there are a million varables in adoption and every situation is 100% unique.
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August 2nd, 2009 at 9:28 pm
I think that depends on what you consider easier any route one goes there is paper work to be filled out, attorneys to hire, home studies, and procedures to follow. It can be an emotional process regardless of what type of adoption one pursues.
Countries/ states/agencies often will have different criteria.
Babies (especially healthy white infants) are in high demand but there are few of them available for adoption. For example you might have 50 couples who want to adopt a baby but only have say 5 babies available for adoption. You have a lot of older children and children who have disabilities of some kind these children are far greater in number. In most cases people don’t want this children they want a baby or at least a young toddler. They prefer a healthy child or one that does not have major health problems. If someone was willing to take an older child or a child with some sort of special needs one would probably have a greater chance of getting a placement sooner.
Bless your sister raising children with special needs is not always easy and it takes a special parent to do so.
August 3rd, 2009 at 2:59 pm
I am a foster mom, and have adopted three. One was actually in my oldest daughter’s foster home (she and her husband were a group foster home). I knew him well from birth, he became my adoption placement when he was a year old, and we finalized when he was eighteen months old. We had gotten a foster/adopt license when we adopted him, so we began fostering for the state again. One week after we finalized our sons adoption, the little girl who became our adopted daughter came to live with us, she was two and a half, and we finalized her adoption when she was four. Six weeks after her adoption was final, we were asked to take her five month old baby brother, and we did. We finalized his adoption when he was three days from eighteen months old last January.
Other than the fact there was one social worker who was determined to place our first adopted child with someone else, it wasn’t hard to adopt through the foster care system - IF you are a foster parent.
August 6th, 2009 at 8:49 pm
Domestic infant adoption can involve a year or more of the approval process, educational training, a long wait, and fees that can run over $20,000.
From everything I’ve ever read, adopting through foster care also has an approval process and training, but parents are desperately needed, especially for older children. The fees involved are significantly less, ranging from almost nothing to $1,000 or a little more.
August 7th, 2009 at 3:47 am
well i was adopted as a baby, at 7 months.. but my sister was adopted as a teen and it was much more difficult on her part.. as for the parents part it is about the same.. both have to eventually explain why and when they were adopted and all that good stuff.. my sister was born with her legs laterally backwards so they had to be constantly broken until they were straight and she couldn’t walk for a while thus lessening her chance to get adopted.. as for european children, it would be mostly a financial decision because i doubt they’ll be able to receive the same benefits as an american child such as medicade, and free college but that’s only if you’re worried about money
August 8th, 2009 at 8:43 pm
I have adopted (internationally) an infant, a four-year-old, and a ten-year-old. In my experience, an infant may be more work initially (in regard to feeding, diapers, getting up at night, etc.) but their adjustment is far, far easier than that of an older child. The longer a child has lived in another place (or several other places), the longer it will take for them to fully accept and trust you as a parent…..and who can blame them? In their lives, they have often had a great deal of suffering, and they have learned that adults can hurt them.
It is very rewarding to earn the love and trust of an older child, but it is important to educate yourself fully