I am giving a baby up for adoption?
I am 17 and made the mistake of becoming pregnant with an 18 year old guy who has a criminal record that consists of everything from felony theft to battery of an officer (please don’t ask me what i was thinking, i’ve already beat myself up plenty over this), and now i have made the decision to place the baby for adoption with a family who will be able to take care of it like him and i never could. I have broken up with him due to his unwillingness to quit smoking pot, cigarettes and drinking throughout the course of my pregnancy (or afterward, for that matter). He has no job, is living in someone’s basement, does not have his license or a car, is on probation and still owes money to the state. The baby is due on February 13th.
He plans to go to court and fight the adoption (which, by the way, would be worked out in such a way that he could see the baby whenever he wanted), and god only knows what he would do with the baby if he won.
The family i want to place the baby with is taking care of me throughout the pregnancy (he did nothing but buy me a shirt once) and will be paying all of the court expenses.
I already know all of the legal ins and outs, but what i want to know is:
If it were YOU on the jury, would you rule in favor of him, or the adoption?
See, actually what i was looking for was a plain and simple answer, not your unwarranted (and incredibly judgmental) opinion.
I am doing this because i want the baby to have a good life with a family that can take care of him or her, not because i don’t want to take responsibility. Actually, this is my way of taking responsibility for my actions in a way that works out best for everyone.
If you think it would be better for me to keep the baby in a bad situation just because “it’s his (like ‘it’ is a pair of shoes or something)”, well then, you’re just being ridiculous.
Let me know next time YOU make a tough decision, so i can be there to criticize you for it when i don’t even know what the hell i’m talking about. 
November 24th, 2009 at 6:38 pm
him. regardless of how shitty you think he is, that’s his baby too. i think that women who give up their baby’s without the father’s consent are selfish. I’m all for women’s rights but when you make a stupid decision and refuse to take responsibility by taking care of your baby, you owe it to that baby to let their dad raise them, not two baby hungry strangers. shame on you. xlinzx88x
November 27th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
Well to me you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. I’m sure sorry that you are in the position that you are. I think that you’ll be surprised to know that in most cases the dads and their families always say that they are willing to fight it when it indeed they are not. I mean for them not to say anything would mean that they don’t care so they speak up. I’ve adopted two babies in Texas and while waiting heard of many birth fathers and their families wanting to fight it and never showed up. Once the father has been told of the birth mother wishes to put the baby up for adoption there is a time in which he has to seek legal assistance in fighting you. Most of the time, the time runs out and all of his rights are then gone. I hope that you are using an agency of some kind to help you through this. If not a real good adoption attorney. My best to you and your decision. I’m sure that you will always hear bad things about your choice but most would have not walked in your shoes. I’ll say a prayer for you and the baby tonight. squeaker
November 29th, 2009 at 7:52 am
i think as he has a criminal past the judge will take this into consideration as well as the jury. what i would do is any thing he says to u or sends in a text,email etc that proves he is unwilling to change his ways should be kept and given as evidence in court.also if its something he says u should write the date and time down and also write it word for word. when in court you should make a statement that you feel the baby would be in danger in his care as a result of his smoking,drinking etc and let the jury decide.most people would believe a mother if they said they felt their baby would be in danger in some1 elses care (mothers instinct).I personally would side with you,i think as he does have a right to his child the court will give him visitation rights but please try and fight these visitaion rights to be supervised,as he is unlikely to be responsible with your baby. Good luck with everything
Ash