I have a newborn baby and I feel that I’m not ready is adoption an option?
heartless is back asked:
I have a 5 week old baby girl. I’m married. This baby was not planned even if we were using protection. We were both thinking about abortion but we decided to keep her. the pregnancy was awful. She’s a cute baby but I feel no connection and I’m not ready I have just started my carrier and that’s my focus right now. We would just have to get a nanny for the baby. Is adoption a good idea or is it too late?
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I have a 5 week old baby girl. I’m married. This baby was not planned even if we were using protection. We were both thinking about abortion but we decided to keep her. the pregnancy was awful. She’s a cute baby but I feel no connection and I’m not ready I have just started my carrier and that’s my focus right now. We would just have to get a nanny for the baby. Is adoption a good idea or is it too late?
September 10th, 2009 at 12:18 am
honestly?
adoption is never legally ”too late” howeever i do think you are suffering from post portom depression. Due to the stressful pregnancy and not being ready, that may cause problems. however you have to consider that marriage is amazing and a family. whats wrong with a nanny? u will have your precious gift as well as a career.
a baby should not be easy to give up for anyone, therefore I do think that you are suffering from the illness that its common for many new mums to suffer from.
remember,one day you will regret giving up YOUR baby,especially since you ARE able to give her/him a great home.
speak to a doctor,and your husband and see what really works. a baby isnt as easy to give up,you will feel empty and terrible. what if the child later in life finds you and hates you,her/his own mother, because you gave him/her up eventhough there was no reason to?
good luck and pleaseeee speak to a doctor,not just your husband. give it time,please.
take care..
September 11th, 2009 at 6:09 pm
You don’t even have to do that. Take her to the hospital, get a social worker and tell her that you don’t want the baby. The social worker will get the papers, you sign away all parental rights to your daughter and then leave, never to see your child again. There are no legal consequences, just mental ones for that course of action.
Or…you could go see your doctor. Maybe you are suffering from post partom depression. How does your husband feel about all this?
September 15th, 2009 at 1:16 am
no it isnt too late but you also must be suffering from post partum depression, seek help first and if you still feel the same then by all means give your baby up for adoption because she deserves to have parents who love her not resent her for being born because its not her fault that she was born
September 17th, 2009 at 8:22 pm
Are you a troll or are you just heartless? Give me a break some people have real problems. Go play with ur baby if there even is 1
September 20th, 2009 at 1:30 am
Its not to late but you could be having some postpartum depression the reason you haven’t connected to the baby. They can give you some meds for that and help you get though it. You should talk to your husband and tell him how you feel since he would also have to be willing to give the child up for adoption but i think its to early to make any decisions like that since it could just be postpartum depression.
September 21st, 2009 at 6:04 am
The word is spelled “career” and I’m glad that I don’t know you.
September 21st, 2009 at 8:26 am
I didn’t feel any connection to my son until he was about 1-2 months old. You COULD be suffering from depression. You should talk to your doctor first about your feelings. After being medicated, if you still feel the same way, consider adoption. How does your husband feel about this? I think you will regret it later. But it is never too late for adoption.
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:14 pm
Adoption is a good idea if you are not ready…it’s probably the best thing you can do for your child. No, I don’t think it is too late, but you should definitely confirm that. Whatever direction you are leaning toward, you should contact someone who knows about adoption who you can talk to to look into the options. Talking to a professional will help you sort everything out. Adoption can be a painful process, but if you can’t take care of your child than it may be the best. Good luck!
September 25th, 2009 at 3:28 pm
It sounds as though you may be suffering from post natal depression, which can be a problem for many new mothers. However, it is quite uncommon for you to feel no connection to her at all, and if you’re sure that you don’t really love her then it may be a good idea to put her up for adoption so she can have parents who really truly love and care for her. Adoption is never ‘too late’, and it would be so much easier for her to let her go now than maybe in a few years when she’s attatched to you.
However, you have to think about this VERY carefully. There are so many people out there who give up children for adoption and then regret it for the rest of their lives.
September 28th, 2009 at 11:00 pm
I wouldn’t give her up straight away, you might regret it and want to see her but never be able to. It could be post natal depression so look into that first. Juggling careers with children must be really hard but some people do manage it, maybe working part time at first and things like that.
September 30th, 2009 at 4:51 am
grow up you didnt care while having sex you will raise your baby dont be a jerk
October 3rd, 2009 at 1:15 am
Adoption is still an option, and I think it’s wonderful that you’re thinking about what’s best for your daughter, but I think you should consider keeping her!
Being postpartum myself, I understand when you don’t feel that connection with your new baby, and can still clearly remember life, pre-baby. I would recommend that you give it some time. Work daily to show your daughter how much you love her, talk to her, play with her (even though she’s still so little,) do you best to demonstrate your love to her. I think eventually you will realize how much you love her.
Giving her up could still work, but she is your child. You are her mommy. She loves you and her Daddy and we only live this mortal life once. The most important thing is family, and NOTHING else. Sometimes it takes time to realize this.
You could always seek counseling to help you bond with the baby. Do not go through this alone. Use your family, church, professional counseling or otherwise, to help you through this. For many mothers, mothering is NOT first nature. But you deserve your daughter and she deserves you. Please consider hanging on to her.
October 4th, 2009 at 7:31 am
its never too late for adoption however the older the child is the harder it is to find them a family
October 7th, 2009 at 3:36 am
Go on and give her up, because she doesn’t need to grow up with a mother that obviously doesn’t love her. Adoption is still an option, and seeing that you are so selfish, it’s probably the best option for you.
And to think you’re married! You already started your life and your settled down…how much more ready do you think you need to be?
I can’t understand how you don’t have any maternal instincts. After having a baby for 5 weeks, i just can’t understand how anyone could give them up.
October 7th, 2009 at 8:15 pm
adoption is an option, but i am afraid you would miss her once she’s gone; sometimes a strong bond takes time, esp if it was unplanned; she is now a part of your fam; maybe have fam take her a few days to see how bad you miss her before going for adoption…how does your hub feel?