Comments on: I need some advice on whether or not i sould put my baby up for adoption?

By: x040493t

x040493t — Mon, 18 May 2009 12:08:54 +0000

u are not doing anything wrong so dun care about those stupid remarks made by others
u are right,your son deserves the best
but it will not be easy to put him up for adoption because of his “special needs” but u can find help from associations or u can put him in a institute
at least until u can support him

By: AD J

AD J — Mon, 18 May 2009 06:59:31 +0000

Long story short is that you need to gather as much data (hard facts and info) as possible.

Contact ANYONE and EVERYONE who might have an idea about how to get help. The phone book, the State, the doctor’s offices, Navy Relief, your local churches and government representatives. Hell, call the damn newspaper if you’re having trouble finding info.

I can’t tell you WHAT to do, but if it were me, I would be trying to get as much info as possible to help that child.

And don’t forget yourself. You need to be in good health to care for him. This means that you need to EAT and go to the doctor, etc. Same for your husband.

There’s no guarantee that he will get BETTER care with someone else, so I’d make sure I tried everything possible to research ALL the options.

Can you prove that you were renting to own? Then call Legal Aid. Ask them to go to the Estate and see if something can be worked out. Is there a Veteran’s Group (VFW, etc.) near you? Can they refer you to help?

Don’t know what state you’re in, but our state library system has a service where librarians will answer questions and research the answers. They also have many pamphlets for the local aid agencies in the lobby.

Ronald McDonald charities may also help.

Best of luck with this situation.

By: sdgblueyes26

sdgblueyes26 — Sat, 16 May 2009 12:40:16 +0000

You are in a tough situation, but do not give up your son, you will regret it later. There are churches and places that can help you. I know that it may be embarassing but get on food stamps. That will help some. Have you tried to get your son on Medicaid? Do you not have any family anywhere that you can move close to. Or some family that can help out?

By: Pullay

Pullay — Sat, 16 May 2009 04:31:59 +0000

simple answer DON’T you will regret it.

By: ganjimaster

ganjimaster — Wed, 13 May 2009 08:42:45 +0000

Here is one resource that may help.

By: cbd901

cbd901 — Tue, 12 May 2009 15:23:50 +0000

This is truly horrible. I could not imagine what you are going through in your marriage and as parents. Check into all options to keep your son with you. Start attending a local church and ask for outreach and I am sure they will bless you with monetary or even physical item donations. Apply for medicare and/or other aid with the state. Consider moving into a homeless shelter to help further your cause. I will pray for you and your family.

By: grammy

grammy — Sat, 09 May 2009 09:12:06 +0000

Some people just don’t understand what it takes, physically, mentally and financially to raise a child with special needs. My son contracted spinal meningitis when he was nine days old, we were told not to bother to take him home, that he would never walk, sit up, or fed himself. He did that and much more, he is now 30 years old, and living on his own. There were bad times, I won’t lie to you. My husband was in the navy at the time. And I am sure that a lot of people will dismiss this or make it seem like I’m trying to force it down your throat, I’m not. I will tell you only that it helped me. Please, before you put him up for adoption, talk to your Pastor. If you don’t go to Church, then please, now is the time to. Maybe the Pastor can set things in motion for you to get the help you need. Children are a blessing from God, those that have special needs are given to those of us whom God feels can do the job best.
Remember that, baby girl, and you, your son and your husband will never be alone. Please let me know how it goes for you.

you and yours are in my prayers

By: Rose C

Rose C — Thu, 07 May 2009 17:15:52 +0000

Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is give your child something better than you can give. Only you can know that, because only you know your situation.

By: cassandra

cassandra — Thu, 07 May 2009 07:48:31 +0000

I wish I could just give you a long - appropriate - hug. Or a lot of money. I can just imagine the stress you and your husband are under. It must seem like these bad times will never end. They always do, tho - the variable is how long can we hang on?

Can you go to the state and talk about sharing custody with him so he will qualify for aid? I understand people do that. Also, almost all states have health insurance for children programs. In addition, you should try to get some churches to put their money with their mouths are and cough up some assistance for you.
Do you have freecycle through Yahoo Groups in your community? You can ask for a car through that. Check Yahoo Groups.

If you will post your region and his special need, I will do all the research I can to find you some resources.

If you gave up your child, you would be repeating a cycle in your life that I think would always bring your heart ache. Also, his heart ache would always be there, for he is old enough to remember and miss you forever.

By: spirit_shurtugal

spirit_shurtugal — Mon, 04 May 2009 07:52:03 +0000

That’s a very tough decision; however I can tell you love your son deeply. Being a good parents is doing what’s best for your child, sacrifice things for them, which is seems clear you are. This is something you and your husband will have to ultimately decide.

There would be some people willing to take in a child with special needs most of them are older. I read an article of a woman who had adopted 5 special needs children. It true that a special needs child isn’t always the easiest to place but the same can be said of older children and even mixed kids.

There are other options you could temporarily give guardianship to a relative or a close friend who would be willing, in till you all can get back on your feet. What skills does your spouse have, would finding a job else where be an option for you all?

If you do go with adoption now a days you can go with an open adoption so you’d still be able to be in his life, get some photos, letters and visitation.

If you feel you need an ear to talk to feel free to email me