You’d rather experience tons of guilt, shame, low self esteem, low self worth, a substance habit to shut your head off at night so you can escape your own mind, nightmares, and have a therapist for the next two decades.

You’d rather wonder about reunion, what it will be like, if it will ever happen, how it will go, if he/she will forgive you, hate you, never contact you.

You’d rather look at every kid the same age and wonder if its yours.

You’d rather subject your child to thoughts of what was so wrong with me that mommy didn’t want me, abandonment issues, attachment disorders, trust problems, teasing at school, sealed birth records, never knowing their ancestry, heritage, ethnicity, medical back ground, actual birth-date, actual age, not being able to leave the country as an adult because their adoption took longer than one year to finalize, so it makes them a possible terrorist, being returned and re-adopted over and over again because they didn’t fit in, weren’t quite what the adoptive parents wanted, didn’t make little Johnny or Suzie (their bio kids) as happy as the parents thought they would.

You’d rather take a chance of your child growing up in and aging out of foster care, because they were a hard ot place, hard ot love child, because of all the issues they have from being adopted.

You’d rather your child looked at every stranger on the street wondering if they might possibly be a relative. Let them fall in love with and possibly have children with a blood sibling because they didn’t know they were siblings and have no mirror image or documentation to go by.

Everything I have posted has happened to some degree to adoptees and surrendering mothers.

I have NO job right now. I have raised my two teenage sons this way for the last 4 years. One is in college, the other graduates high school next year. What you THINK you can do and what yo can actually pull off are two very different things.

I have a daughter who is 37 years old, who I have had the absolute pleasure to know and love for the last 10 years. I have grand children I have had to look in the eyes and explain why I am they’re mommies mom but grandma so and so raised her.

I have had the the blessing of being forgiven, yet I still can not forgive myself so what good is it, and my daughter and I both have ever lasting scars from separation through adoption even though she got a good home. smarmy

If it’s because you truly don’t want to be a mother right now, then maybe adoption is the best thing to do. There are many women out there who’d love to give your darling baby a wonderful home. Adoption will give you the chance to get on with your goals in life, knowing that your baby is being well cared for (by the family of your choice, if you so desire).

However, if it’s just because of the money, or because you feel like you don’t “deserve” to be a mom, then maybe you should look into what services are available to you. Not just government services, but private charities like the Crisis Pregnancy Centers. Remember, tough financial situations don’t last forever. Don’t give your baby up if money is the ONLY barrier, because you’ll always regret it if you do.

Anyway, you sound like a very brave and unselfish woman who wants to do the right thing. I wish you and your baby all the best, whatever you choose. Phaery G