If you decide to give a baby up for adoption?


baby adoption
Glenstorm asked:


Can you bargain with the adoptive parents for how long you can keep the baby before they take him/her home?
My friend wants to keep him for 99 more days, before the adoptive parents take him home….

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009 at 12:00 am and is filed under Adoption. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

20 Responses to “If you decide to give a baby up for adoption?”

  1. english_queen2001 Says:

    It depends on the situation and the laws in your state. Check with a local adoption agency or lawyer to be sure. http://www.goldbuyingguide.com/buying-e-gold.htm

  2. leaweller04 Says:

    what? if you want to give the baby up. that is what you are doing. you dont bargain. it is not an object. it is a human being. you either give the baby up or you dont.
    you dont keep the baby til you get bord. the baby is not a game http://www.secretfinance.com/offshore/offshore-liechtenstein.htm

  3. Who are you to judge me? Says:

    its not like selling a car! you can arrange for an open adoption where they send you updates and pictures of the baby and sometimes see the baby. http://www.proofficesupply.com/cincinnati-office-supply.htm

  4. jennrhd Says:

    I have heard of birth mothers asking to spend one night with the baby before giving the baby to the adoptive parents. However, I don’t think that it’s really the done thing for the birth mother to keep the baby for any extended period of time before the adoption. The initial paperwork is usually done in the hospital and the baby goes home with the adoptive parents, or in to pre-adoptive foster care.

    I think I’d wonder why the birth mother wanted to keep the baby for a while? The adoptive parents might get nervous that the birth mother has changed her mind. It is her right to change to her mind before she signs the paperwork, but if she’s thinking about it, she should be clear with the adoptive parents and with the agency she’s using that she needs more time to decide. It’s better to be honest about your intentions.

    99 days is not realistic. It sounds like your friend isn’t very sure about what she wants to do. http://www.greattoolsusa.com/saws-4327

  5. grapesgum Says:

    Yes. This is YOUR baby after all. You can keep your baby for as long as you like. Trust me, babies being put up for adoption is so rare these days, you will have NO problem finding hundreds of adoptive parents who will agree to these conditions. http://www.resumeminers.com/Job-Search-Sites.htm

  6. Twist of Fate Says:

    I don’t think people should be bargaining over a child. If someone wants to place a baby for adoption then they place the baby for adoption. They shouldn’t be like ok well we will keep the baby for 3 months and then give him to you. Your friend needs to either decide to place the baby for adoption or keep and parent the baby. Apparently a new rule in Guatemala adoptions once it gets back up, will be that the birthmother will have to parent for the first month in order to see if she really wants to place the baby for adoption. I think that is fine but this situation does not seem to be the case. In that later situation I believe they would not be doing prebirth match. So parents would be selected for the baby after the month was up and the birthmother/father decided they still wanted to do adoption. Much better since no one gets their heart broken or feels guility. http://www.chefcookingware.com/989

  7. Andraya Says:

    Your friend can keep her baby for as long as she wants to. She should NOT sign any papers during that time. When she is ready to relinquish her child, she may choose to parent, she can sign all the papers. http://www.medicalsupplyservices.com/medical-software.htm

  8. Robin Says:

    I agree with those who’ve written that your friend has every right to keep her child as long as she wants to. There is no “bargaining” to do. The adoptive parents can either accept her decision and choose to wait. Or they can decide this is not what they want to do. Your friend can find other parents to adopt her child when and IF she’s ready to relinquish.

    The adopters won’t want to allow her that time, of course. An agency absolutely doesn’t want to provide her with that time. Because she just might change her mind and decide to parent her own child in 99 days (or 30 days or whenever). And they’d be out of the fees they can earn for the adoption.

    Actually, in the past, some mothers were allowed to keep their children with them for a couple of weeks, even in the dark ages of the baby scoop era. Allowed to dress & feed & hold & love them before reliquishing. Some homes for unwed moms believed this was better.

    Good luck to your friend~

  9. threehotdogs3 Says:

    My brother was kept in a foster home for two months until we got him. It mostly depends on the promis you made the adoptive parents. http://www.jewelrymakingidea.com/jewelry-making-information.htm

  10. sizesmith Says:

    The birth mother has the right to reliquish rights the second the baby is born, until it reaches 18. The problem can be though, that waiting 99 days can be very rough on her, and the transition can be hard on the baby. Also, if she is expecting adoptive parents to pay for everything, in some states it is illegal to give her money to help with expenses. Sometimes, the baby can live with the adoptive parents, and the birth mom visits, expresses milk, and has a “very open” adoption. Whatever she decides, it needs to be the best option for the baby, not her, and not the adoptive parents. My prayers are with all involved. http://www.felinehealthguide.com/feline-illness-symptom.htm

  11. Ghost Writer Rides Again Says:

    As long as your friend has not signed the relinquishment papers (pre-birth papers are not legally binding), she can hang on to her baby as long as she feels neccessary. She clearly is not sure about relinquishment. She should raise her baby. http://www.currencyexchangemarket.com/currency-exchange-rate.htm

  12. Michelle Says:

    Unless the baby is already given to the parents, you can keep the baby as long as you want it’s illegal for the adoptive parents to take the baby without consent but they have every right to walk away from the adoption just like your friend. Just some advice, emotions are going to be extremly high on all sides so just be considerate of all parties involved. If your friend is set in adoption then get it over with, no reason to draw back on it unless you are deciding to go back on the adoption, in that case tell the adopting parents, they have every right to know. http://www.englishoverseas.com/teach-english/teach-english-spain.htm

  13. carlaz Says:

    that is the most stupid thing ive ever heard…if she wanted to give him up why keep him for 3 more months? sounds to me like your friend is an idiot and shouldnt have reproduced to begin with… http://www.supersportsstore.com

  14. cruzgirlz3 Says:

    It sounds like maybe your friend is having second thoughts. She should keep her baby until she makes a decision she is at peace with. The fact she wants 99 days? I don’t know, but it suggests she may not be at peace with this decision and she should take her time. http://www.resumeminers.com/universities/construction-trades-degree.htm

  15. bouiver Says:

    i have a hard time answering this i would keep my child even if my wife leaves children telling you they love you breaks your heart and if you cant support the child then give him up for adoption but if you can afford please keep him you will not regret it in the end i didnt want kids at all i love my daugther and have another kid on the way what ever way you decide may god be with you and good luck i hope he gets good parents http://www.ihearclear.com/BAHA-hearing-aids.htm

  16. Adopted Jane Says:

    Why does she want to wait 99 days ? that is just going to be PURE Torture on her and more importantly that baby when it comes to separation
    To read this breaks my heart more than reading about others giving their baby up straight away and that breaks my heart enough as it is
    Especially if she is going to breast feed the baby for those 99 days
    3mths to bond with baby and then give the baby up ?

    Tell her to keep the baby for 99days infinity :) she will be far happier and so will the baby http://www.myislandholiday.com/greek-island-vacation.htm

  17. Heather B Says:

    The mother of the baby decides how long she wants with her baby, not the potential adoptive parents!

    The mother can keep her baby as long as she wants to http://www.resumeminers.com/Job-Search-Sites.htm

  18. Miss Kitty Says:

    Hey i kept my daughter for 2 weeks before i did the placement with the adoptive parents. It all depends on the adoption agency. I would of kept her longer if i could, but then i would have been to attched. If the agency lets her and she is going to be okay with keeping the child that long then i dont see why not, but if she doesnt want to get attached its best to do the placement now. http://www.doggydisease.com/dog-condition-disease.htm

  19. mel Says:

    I don’t care how unpopular this comment is… if your friend wants to give the baby up, he/she should do it ASAP. Why? Because that baby is bonding to his current parent right now. This is not about your friend, this is about a BABY. When you take a baby/child away from its security blanket the adjustment is harder and harder the longer you wait. It’s bonding to the person who has it. The baby is secure and probably happy.

    The longer you wait, the more traumatic this is going to be. Some people care only about themselves, and not about the innocent child’s best interest. That’s really sad.

    For all of the people who are saying that the person should keep this baby as long as they want, shame on you for being so selfish. I’m sure it will be very hard to give up the baby, but they’ve already made up their mind. Let the baby go to a stable situation with people that will love it and care for it, and not pass it around.

    Think about it. This is about the BABY, not about the birth parent. http://www.resumeminers.com/home-business.htm

  20. nancy_uhde Says:

    > http://www.ihearclear.com/bone-anchored-hearing-aid.htm

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