If your teen daughter got pregnant, how would you react if she wanted to give her baby up for adoption?
Deans asked:
Would you feel relief? Sadness? Would you offer to adopt her baby? Would you try to encourage her to keep it?
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Would you feel relief? Sadness? Would you offer to adopt her baby? Would you try to encourage her to keep it?
December 22nd, 2009 at 9:06 pm
I honestly don’t know how i would feel about that. I don’t think I can answer that until it happens. I already know what I would do if she was pregnant, support her and try to help her out. Parent
December 22nd, 2009 at 10:05 pm
Wow great question….I know my first instinct would be to offer to adopt the child. I can’t imagine my grandchild being raised by strangers. Even though I think adoption is a great idea in general.
My sister gave a child up for adoption last year and I am still devastated that I don’t know my niece. She is only a week younger than my daughter. I offered to take her child and raise it as my own but she refused. nottoday
December 25th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
Relief - yes
Sadness - yes
Offer to adopt - quite possibly, but if she truly wanted adoption, I would think she would not go for that
Encourage her to keep it - only if it’s what she wanted and she was ready to be a mother and not a “big sister” MT
December 26th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
Probably all of the above. I would make sure that is what she really wanted and I would support her in that. Though I would probably offer to adopt the baby, I also would encourage her to keep the baby.
I would just be grateful to God that she was choosing life for the baby.
*hard candy, wonderful answer. Twilight Mommy ♣
December 28th, 2009 at 3:13 am
I would encourage her to keep the baby, and if she really didn’t want to I woudl offer to adopt the baby. I don’t think I could ever turn my back on a grandchild. Dalton’s Mommy & Kaiah due 2
December 28th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Being a parent and knowing how hard it is when you’re not a teenager I’d respect her decision and volunteer any help I could offer. I would not offer to adopt the baby, but if she chose to keep the baby I’d do my best to support her decision. I would also not offer financial assistance as money is tight enough in our house without that. I’d also want her to be sure she knew what she was giving up, but would try my hardest not to sway her mind in either direction as it really is her decision to make. Katie H
December 31st, 2009 at 7:13 am
I don’t really know because i do not have a pregnant teen daughter. But, i think i would want her to keep it and i would help her out. It would still be my grandchild and i wouldn’t want to see them be given away to be raised by strangers. When it’s family your in it together no matter what. Than i would have my daughter on the shot or mirena or some kind of birth control she can’t forget. Des_Angell
January 3rd, 2010 at 3:39 pm
It would feel weird having a family member raised by strangers. I would want to keep it. Ultimately, it is her decision. hannahmommy
January 5th, 2010 at 6:48 pm
im not sure if you’d value my opinion because im a teenage mom myself to a beautiful babygirl.
but when i got pregnant &told my mom ; she told me that i wouldnt know how disappointed she felt unless i have a daughter &she does it to me. my daughters only a newborn so i dont know what it would be like to have a teen daughter being pregnant but i would like to say a few things about this topic/discussion .
your daughter should think a lot about her decision to put the baby up for adoption. it may see or may be the best decision but you deff dont want her or you to live in any guilt or regret . i know a few girls that gave up their baby for adoption &had and still having a very tough time w/ the decision they made.
a lot of girls that put their baby up for adoption say they want whats best for their baby but in all honesty a baby really needs their mother.
it may seem tough right now esp if your daughters just a teenager but i guarantee you all the struggle &obstecales will all be worth it once the baby is here &it will be hard to raise her cause your daughters young &has other things to do but seeing the baby reach a milestone everyday is worth it all.
ive sacrificed a lot to be a teen mom but just cause i had a baby young ; i didnt let that hold me back from my plans i had already planned to do before getting pregnant like finishing high school or going to college .
im still set on my plans ; theres just goonna be a baby involved &made me grow up a lot faster. drax3
January 9th, 2010 at 12:57 am
I was a pregnant teenage daughter. My mother gave me no choice than to raise the child myself. Thankfully I was on the same page as her, I accepted it and my now 2 and a half year old is my world. It breaks my heart to even think about her becoming pregnant like I did, but I would support her in whatever she chose to do. I would be very thankful that she chose life for my grandbaby, first of all. I believe I would offer to adopt the baby as well, i think it would be hard to me to have someone else raise my family, if you know what I mean. Emma Monsters Mama
January 10th, 2010 at 9:32 am
Well, of course iw ouldnt want her to give it up!!! that would be my grandchild! i would rather adopt the baby if that was going to be the case! I could NEVER willingly give up my flesh and blood to some stranger… Ann S
January 13th, 2010 at 12:44 pm
I’d be insanely proud of her. It’s hard enough to admit you’re not ready to care for a child, it’s extremely difficul to want to make that sacrifice for the well-being of someone other than yourself. I, of course, would ask her to think about it long & hard, but if that’s her decision, I’d have her back.
When you ask women that have had abortions if they thought about adoption, most of them will tell you they could never give up a child, it would be too hard, yet it’s not ”too hard” for them to KILL him? I can’t understand but I’ve heard this answer a couple of times..
Adoption is the selfless choice, it must be extremely hard to give up your own baby, but you do it because you’d rather live with the fact that you’ll never be a mother to your child, than the fact that, to not put yourself through that, you murdered him/her.. Strangely, women choose abortion over adoption ALL THE TIME.
I’d applaud her choice and support her 100% ˚hɑяd çɑηdʮ˚
January 14th, 2010 at 3:06 am
I think I would be tempted to raise the child but I know that adoption would probably be the best answer, so my heart would be at war with common sense. reddevilbloodymary
January 14th, 2010 at 11:19 pm
Um. It would not even be an option. Her body is not hers until she is 18 and until then, she would have to do what I say, and no grandchild of mine would be raised by strangers. If she doesn’t like it, she should have waited until later to get pregnant. Mean people suck!
January 14th, 2010 at 11:26 pm
I would first make sure that she understood all of her options, which would include abortion, keeping the child, or adoption. My job in this situation is not to make the choice for her, simply to provide her the information, resources, and access to each of her choices.
I would be extremely disappointed in her, and we’d let her know that, but I made a promise when I became a mother to love my children through thick and thin. There is a time to sit down and talk to her about her situation, to understand exactly what happened, and to explain to her what went wrong; but there is also a time to understand that giving up her childhood is punishment enough. I would therefore love and support her no matter what decision she ended up making, although I don’t necessarily have to agree with her choice.
Abortion is acceptable in my family. I would be a hypocrite if I didn’t allow her this option, and I know that will earn me some thumbs down, especially in this thread, but it is a viable option. If she wanted to seek out an abortion, I would help her set up an appointment with a clinic, and find some form of counseling for her afterwards. I would also make sure that she thought long and hard about this alternative, because it cannot be undone.
Keeping the baby would also be an acceptable option, however, should she choose to persue it, I would let her know that she would need to move out of the house. Nothing personal, I would still love and support her 100%, but deciding to become a parent is an adult responsibility, and so we would then treat her like an adult. So, I can’t say I would ENCOURAGE her to keep the child, no. Support? Yes. Encourage? No. Tough love is necessary sometimes.
Finally, adoption would be her third option, and, I must say, probably the best one. If my daughter made this choice, I would be very proud of her for carrying the baby to term and taking responsibility for her actions.
But, then again, no matter which option she chose, I would be proud of her, as long as she made her decision maturely and handled the situation like a grown-up. Katie51
January 16th, 2010 at 1:14 pm
I would offer her any help I could, including the option of a temporary guardianship situation or helping to find or provide childcare so she can finish high school, so that she didn’t feel the need to go through with an adoption for reasons such as lack of money or lack of support, if she was convinced she wanted to do an adoption and didn’t feel forced into it, I would offer to adopt and then support whatever decision she came to. Lucky
January 17th, 2010 at 11:01 am
That is a hard question to answer, would i feel relief maybe some sort since i am a teen mom i know how hard it is and knowing my daughter wouldn’t have to struggle like me would be a relief but in other ways no because children are a blessing and i would love to have a baby around. I would be sad that the baby wasn’t around and that i would not be able to see him/her. If i was in a situation like that all i could do is support her weather she decides to keep it or put it up for adoption after all it is her decision she is the mother i would try to guide her through the process put my feelings aside and help her make the best decision for herself. Lori
January 20th, 2010 at 9:09 am
I would be very proud of her for making a mature, grown up decision that was best for her child. I would encourage her to do an open adoption so that she could still watch him/her grow up. But there are soooo many married couples who can’t have children that would be excellent parents, I think she’d be making the right decision. Irenie Leigh
January 21st, 2010 at 2:03 pm
I would be sad. I would hope she would keep her baby and find a way to make it work, I would of course help in any way I could to see that it happens. I wouldn’t want the child to leave the family. I think regardless of the timing, children are brought into our lives for a reason. I wouldn’t encourage any person to give away their child, without a whole lot of thought, or an amazing reason. Busy Barbie 007
January 21st, 2010 at 6:38 pm
Force her to take care of it. There’s no encouragement here. You either keep it or Im disowning you. Simple as that. DrCorrosion
January 22nd, 2010 at 1:37 pm
I am not sure how i would react to it, but i do know that i will be supportive if she decides to adopt it or keep it, i would strongly advise abortion because i do feel as she made the choice to have sex, she should have consequences to actions. But either way, i would support her and help her out with the baby. ~baby blue eyes~♥ going on vacay
January 24th, 2010 at 3:51 pm
It depends if the daughter is totally unfit to be a mother, i.e a drug addict, abusive, violent etc. Considering the baby is family, I would adopt the baby. Family is important. JD
January 26th, 2010 at 10:17 pm
Please respond I’m from Argentina.
Only for experts.
.;_ylv=3?qid=20091213202728AABnFB4 El esceptico
January 27th, 2010 at 8:25 pm
I’d be angry that’s she get pregnant. But I’d also try to help her. I’d hate it for her to put the baby up for adoption. What about her boyfriend’s opinion? If the home is a stable environment for a child to grow up, I don’t see why she would give the baby up for adoption. But then again, she doesn’t want to take care of a baby & probably I wouldn’t want to either. So, it’s like, you want to but you don’t want to. Bookworm
January 30th, 2010 at 2:34 am
Idk know how i would feel but i would let her do wat she feels is right, as long as it doesnt envolve hurting or killing or anything that deals with serious pain little drummerboy
January 30th, 2010 at 4:49 am
My girlfriend and I got pregnant when she was 19 and I was 20. Our parents were sad but supportive of whatever decision we made (other than abortion, they were against that) It was a huge benefit having the love and support of our family. Having our parents adopt our daughter from us would have been very odd now that we are in our mid to late twenties and our daughter is in elementary school. We did not run off and get married, we actually broke up for about three years before getting back together and getting married. We now have a beautiful daughter and a newborn son. Depending on the age and maturity of your teenage daughter I would suggest having her raise the baby or giving it up for adoption. If she does keep the baby it will cause her to grow up quickly because of her new found responsibility. Just remember to be loving and supportive of her decision and whether or not her relationship lasts with the father, keep him involved. My wife and I did not always get along, but we always were very involved in the life of our daughter and we remained civil. I hope this helps, since my wife and I lived what your daughter is going through and came out successful on the other side. Matt R
February 2nd, 2010 at 2:24 pm
well i;m not a mom but i know that if my daughter got pregnant i would try to encourage her to keep it and if she didn’t i might adopt it. and i would feel very sad. or i might try to find a really good home with a couple that had been trying but couldn’t and really wanted a baby and that they would take care of it. 5 ★☆ fashion queen