Comments on: im planning on giving up my baby for adoption?

By: danielina178

danielina178 — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 13:32:44 +0000

if you have any doubts about giving your baby up, don´t do it, this is a permanent decision that will afect many lives in the future, try keeping your baby for 6 months, and if you really feel you can´t suport it, then give it away.

By: jessica300

jessica300 — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 05:21:34 +0000

No, I don’t think it is smart to give your baby up for adoption. I lost my child to adoption many years ago - it is extremely damaging to both the mother and baby to be separated especially at birth when you need each other most!

Please, do not even consider adoption until several weeks after you have given birth. You need time with your child after she is born, to hold her and bond with her.

Try to get help from family or trusted friends. There is government aid available to you:

Government program with contacts for each state WIC (Women, Infants, Children)

Federal government food stamp program

Government health insurance for your child

You might also want to look at some of these sites for single mom’s:

Maybe you can go to school part time, or in the evenings, or maybe take courses online. You can always go back to school later, but if you lose your child to adoption, you will not get her back.

Beware of open adoptions. They are not legally enforceable. That means that the couple who adopts your child can close the adoption if they decide to do so. It is common for open adoptions to close.

I wouldn’t advise putting your child in foster care either as you may not be able to get her back.

There is a big market out there for infants. Many people want to adopt - so be very careful about agreeing to anything until you are absolutely sure.

Seventeen is young, but not too young to raise your baby. Best of luck to you.

By: Brandon & Elisa H

Brandon & Elisa H — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 12:00:47 +0000

I too commend you for being so selfless! If you have an open adoption with a family you can trust, you would be able to see her and watch her grow.
My husband and I are trying to adopt a biracial or black child and we really want a very open adoption. We feel it is extremely important for the child to know where they came from and to know their birthmother. We plan to have her involved in all milestones and yearly visits.
I wish you well!

By: lady_gertie02

lady_gertie02 — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 10:47:11 +0000

Adoption is wonderful for people who want children and can’t have them. In some circumstances, it is definitely best for the child. Is the father in the picture? He may want to keep the baby. Consider what your daughter might want… if she could tell you what she wants, she probably would want to be with you. How about having her placed in a foster home, where you could have regular visits with her, and work towards becoming more financially able to care for her. Also, you could apply for the many government programs available to you for aid in raising your child. There is even financial aid for childcare while you are working or going to school. If you want to keep your baby, you CAN do it, it won’t be easy and you may have to make sacrifices. You just have to decide whether or not you want to make those sacrifices.

By: Christina

Christina — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 01:47:56 +0000

First of all I commend you for not aborting her like so many other young kids do! I think you are doing the right thing. I’m 30 and married so I’m not sure what I’d feel like at your age but it honestly seems like you thought it through like a mature person. There’s different types of adoption. I think one is open adoption which the birth mom can visit the baby every now & again or you can ask for pictures just to see that she’s doing alright?

Good luck becoming a doctor and hopefully you don’t make this same mistake again. 17 is rather young to be having sex but at least you are making a smart decision about your life.

By: Cherfan!

Cherfan! — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 23:58:12 +0000

if you are feeling like that it sounds as though adoption may not be what you want. if you are feeling like this now imagine what you will feel when you meet your beautiful little girl!
i had my first baby at 16 and i have no family at all. it was hard but we survived. study is still possible with a baby even if it means you have to apply for government assistance so you dont have to work. thats the one thing that i would say is to not push yourself. study with a baby is doable but working aswell is pushing it a bit…being a mother is a job! i study from homw which is fantastic. you should find out what is offered via correspondance or part time.
i would definetly say that if the only reason you are thinking of giving your baby away is because you want to study then dont do it. it doesnt matter if you are tight on money or if your study takes a bit longer, you will have your baby there with you and that will make it worthwile…you will be doing it for her!
but…if you do decide on adoption then you could look into open adoptions. there are all sorts with all sorts of involvment by you in your childs life.
good luck

By: Mommy to Be

Mommy to Be — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 01:58:26 +0000

I think that is was a much better choice than abortion. But it is possible for you to be able to take care of her at your young age…is the father around? My friend and her husband had a baby when she was just 18 and dating at the time. 5/12 years later they have a beautiful little girl and a 1 1/2 year old sister for her. It was a struggle at first, I won’t lie to you there…but they got through it and came out on top.

My friend still went to college and got a degree, her huband works for UPS and they are doing just fine.

But if you feel that you cannot provide a life for this baby of yours and be able to kep her safe then you made a good decsion. All mothers who give their child up for adoption feels what you are feeling (well at least I would think so) but the most important thing is making the right choice for your baby girl.

By: jungle cheeks

jungle cheeks — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 12:24:40 +0000

i would like to say for being 17 you have a good head on your shoulders. i can’t really give you any advise. i’m 25 and i didn’t feel ready finacially and emotionally. having him is the best thing in life. i can say there is alot of assitance you can get . like medicaid, wic, houseing, and daycare. if you do decide to keep her. good luck and i hope everything works out for the best.

By: SHL

SHL — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 21:16:50 +0000

My cousin was able to adopt a baby through an “open adoption”. They have communication with the birth mom and the baby’s brothers and sisters. In fact, the birth family comes to the birthday parties. The child knows he is loved by everyone. (His mom was young with 4 children already and unmarried. My cousin was 38 and established…and unable to conceive a baby.)

I know it’s hard to give up a baby, but it’s very hard to rear one without financial and emotional support too. Just do what your heart tells you is best and consider the many different types of adoptions.

Best of luck!

By: Amber E

Amber E — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 14:39:35 +0000

Of course you have feelings for your beautiful daughter. You would be abnormal if you did not, after providing her with room and board for 9 months. But if you feel you can’t take care of her and provide her with 2 parents, financial stability, etc. then you are making a wonderful choice with adoption. There is a song out there by Michael McClean called “From God’s Arms to My Arms to Yours”. It’s a beautifully written song from a biological mother’s perspective. You might also want to check out itsaboutlove.org.

I have the most amazing nieces and nephews–my sister- and brother-in-law were unable to have children for 7 years after getting married, and when they adopted, it was the best day of their life. Even when they have struggles with their kids, they love them and appreciate the biological parents who were selfless enough to help them to be parents. And they are such wonderful parents to those kids. It’s amazing.

Just remember that it’s about the baby, and not you. I think your decision is admirable. Good luck.