Is it more difficult to abort your unborn baby or give it up for adoption?
Jane S asked:
What do you think? Any experiences? Suck it in a sink or wave goodbye?
Currently it is very difficult to adopt but some see pregnancy as an inconvienance. I would have given anything to rescue Caylee Anthony from death.
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What do you think? Any experiences? Suck it in a sink or wave goodbye?
Currently it is very difficult to adopt but some see pregnancy as an inconvienance. I would have given anything to rescue Caylee Anthony from death.
March 17th, 2009 at 8:34 am
you can’t give a fetus up for adoption.
March 18th, 2009 at 5:27 am
i wouldnt know, but i think that it would be more difficult to carry a baby for that long and bond, even if only a little, and then its born and you’d have to see it and you could have more regrets. once i saw my son i loved him instantly and could never have given him up, but if i’d never really had him, i would get over it because i wouldnt know what i was missing. i neither agree or disagree with abortion, but i think in the long run it would probably be easier on YOU physically and emotionally
March 19th, 2009 at 7:07 am
Personally I would rather have the child and then place up for adoption than have an abortion. It would be horribly painful to not know exactly what was happening with the child but I would rather endure that pain. I would never be able to live with myself if I had an abortion. I guess it depends on if you consider it a fetus or a child. To me its not just a mass of tissue but an actual life and I could not end a life.
March 21st, 2009 at 6:52 am
First off, what another poster said was correct. You cannot adopt a mass of tissue or a fetus.
I had an abortion when I was 17. I had an abortion BECAUSE I was adopted. There was no way in he!! I would give a child away knowing how I had suffered my entire life wondering about my first Mom and missing her.
Adoption was not an option for me at all. I did not feel it was my responsibility to provide a child for an infertile woman.
Even my a Mom supported my decision, and completely understood.
And yup, since someone will throw it out there, I will go ahead and say it for them- sometimes I wish I had been aborted. The pain to my fetus brain would have been over in a flash, instead of having pain my entire life and until I draw my last breath due to my relinquishment.
Adoption does NOT guarantee a better life, only a different one.
ETA*** for H.Mom
God’s a liberal. I wonder how many people who buy babies or coerce women into surrendering them will be in heaven?
**ETA*** for “adore him” Of course you wouldn’t abort. You have to be able to get pregnant to do that.
March 24th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
From experience? Losing a child to adoption is a hundred times worse.
What is the pain like from the surrender of a baby for adoption? Think of the death of your father or mother or brother or someone you love deeply. Remember how crippling the grief felt once the shock wore off. Then think about how torturous it would be for the grief to never be resolved, to have to wake up with it every morning for what in 50% of all cases is the rest of your life and knowing it will come back again even if you *do* succeed in making yourself feel emotionally numb again. With adoption, there is no closure and without closure the grief cannot be resolved. Anyone who tells you differently is lying or is still in a stage of numbness/shock.
March 25th, 2009 at 9:55 pm
pretty cold hearted of you. neither would be easy at all. abortion is killing, it doesn’t matter weather you are pro-life or not that is what it is. women who give their children up suffer great emotional turmoil from their choices. you don’t want to choose use a fuck-in condom
March 27th, 2009 at 4:10 am
Hard one, I had to give my baby girl up Thanks to my cold hearted, hateful drunk mom, I have grieved over this my whole life, I know I should of got an abortion, It would of saved me the abuse I have gone tru.
March 27th, 2009 at 10:09 pm
I have to answer this one. You see, I was adopted as a baby and I am so grateful I wasn’t aborted.
I think that having an abortion is taking the easy way out for the mother, but it is death for the baby. That mother would have to live with the fact that she murdered her baby for the rest of her life, so it wouldn’t be easier in the long run.
What’s wrong with providing a child to a couple who couldn’t have one? My parents couldn’t have a baby, and they were so happy to get me. They told me they chose me to be their child, and they wanted me very much.
Of course, I wondered about my birth mother, and she did contact me after I was an adult. I thanked her for not having an abortion, and never asked why she felt she needed to give me up. (I’m pretty sure she got pregnant when my birth father was away at war.)
I do wish I knew something about my birth father as there is half of my heritage I know nothing about. I’m thinking of having a DNA test done to see what my ancestry is.
If you are pregnant, please give your baby a chance at a happy life.
March 28th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
Wow how rude of you. Both are painful experiences that last a life time. Neither are easy.
March 31st, 2009 at 11:29 pm
There is never a reunion with a Dead baby—except in Heaven if murder is forgiven…
For those who must insist it’s just tissue
(I thought the bonding started before birth–does the “fetus” have bonding skills and does the Primal Wound only start with the first breath of life–or hearing the mothers heartbeat? Does the tissue have ears to hear the heartbeat?)
April 2nd, 2009 at 5:07 am
I haven’t done either, but I have several friends who have done both and… no consensus. Which was a worse or more painful experience seems to depend on the person. It also seems to depend somewhat on whether they truly feel alright with abortion, or are just doing it out of fear and actually worry it may be wrong. Neither should be assumed to be a painless way out of pregnancy.
The best way to prevent either scenario is to avoid unwanted pregnancy or parent your child.
April 4th, 2009 at 6:16 am
Regardless the issue that am against abortion if done on purpose, loosing a child that u didnt c yet or didnt touch and smell, is easier than giving birth and go into all the pain, and the last 2 months before u give birth, i dont know how old u r? But for me i would never ever be able to do such thing giving him/her for adoption and then worry about how is he/she doing, eating well, going to good school, feeling cold, will i ever be able to c again, maybe know him/her when grow up, lots of things, its really hard.
_K_
April 5th, 2009 at 8:23 am
A fetus is not a baby, and cannot be adopted.
April 7th, 2009 at 11:48 pm
“Can’tStop” said “adoption does not guarantee a better life, just a different one.” I suppose that can be a true statement, however did you realize what she said a “LIFE”. Abortion takes a life. I am sorry for those who did not have a good adoption experience- so I am not negating that- however I can tell you from my experience of having been given life and placed for adoption- I would NEVER abort if I got pregnant, because I realize that life begins at conception. My husband and I adopted 2 children, and we met their birth moms, and I can tell you, it was not easy for either of them to place their babies with us, but as they both said, “they would never take the life of their babies”.
April 10th, 2009 at 10:59 pm
I’ve talked to several women who have done both.
You never get over giving your child away.
April 13th, 2009 at 10:38 pm
since fetuses aren’t adopted, i don’t see the plausibility of your question. in addition, until you’ve done either one, i find it quite condescending that you are judging others.
i’ve had experiences with both: the adoption plan (thank heavens i changed my mind) was the most painful and emotionally damaging. neither is easy; and shouldn’t be used as an alternative to the other.
also, casey anthony is a sociopath, and deserves a needle in her arm. just like many who’ve adopted and have killed their children. please don’t compare women who make the decision to terminate to this wackadoodle!
got a question: if you are so interested in “rescuing” kids, try going down to your local foster care facility. there’s TONS of children who would love to be adopted.
your attempt to be self-righteous is condescending.
April 13th, 2009 at 11:15 pm
I think either decision would be difficult. I know from having a couple of miscarriages I often wondered if my baby’s would have been boy’s or girls, what they would have looked like what they would have become. And I think most of those that have abortions would wonder the same things. Most don’t have one and never think of it again.
If I choose to adopt my baby out, I would at least be comforted with the knowledge that I did give them a chance at life. But would also wonder what they looked like as they grew, and how their life turned out.
Either way it is a difficult decision that only the mother can decide.
I know for me I’m glad I wasn’t aborted, that I was given a chance to have a life, not discarded like a piece of trash.
April 16th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
Like others have said, I think both decisions are very difficult and have a lasting effect. My mom’s friend aborted twins seven years ago and she never got over it. The day of the abortion she takes off of work and locks herself away at her home. I’m sure the feelings are pretty similar for those who have given their child up for adoption. Either way the pain is enormous and everlasting for both sides of the fence.
April 18th, 2009 at 4:40 am
For me, both would be equally painful and traumatizing in their own ways. But i refuse to judge everyone else by my own personal feelings. Some see abortion as the way to go, others do not.
Being adopted, and having a good experience, i couldnt give away my child.