Comments on: my girlfriend is pregnant and Im thinking about giving the baby up for adoption.heres the situation? http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/my-girlfriend-is-pregnant-and-im-thinking-about-giving-the-baby-up-for-adoptionheres-the-situation/ Thu, 17 May 2012 21:11:21 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: gavino_kitty http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/my-girlfriend-is-pregnant-and-im-thinking-about-giving-the-baby-up-for-adoptionheres-the-situation/comment-page-1/#comment-3815 gavino_kitty Fri, 05 Jun 2009 14:55:37 +0000 http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/my-girlfriend-is-pregnant-and-im-thinking-about-giving-the-baby-up-for-adoptionheres-the-situation/#comment-3815 sorry, but you should've kept your pants on. My mom always told us that if you play with Peter, you pay with Paul. sorry, but you should’ve kept your pants on. My mom always told us that if you play with Peter, you pay with Paul.

]]> By: chelsea s http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/my-girlfriend-is-pregnant-and-im-thinking-about-giving-the-baby-up-for-adoptionheres-the-situation/comment-page-1/#comment-3814 chelsea s Tue, 02 Jun 2009 23:05:36 +0000 http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/my-girlfriend-is-pregnant-and-im-thinking-about-giving-the-baby-up-for-adoptionheres-the-situation/#comment-3814 If she wants to keep the baby, then you can't make her change her mind. But you can sit down and talk to her about it. Maybe make a list of pros and cons for parenting and adoption. And be completely honest about your apprehensions concerning parenting and getting married. I'm sure if she cares about you enough to marry you, she will be willing to compromise with you. Remember to say it in a way that won't be hurtful to her. She is in a very emotionally difficult and fragile position right now. Placing a child and parenting are both very difficult, and can both be very rewarding. Don't forget that you need to think of what is best for the child too! Good luck. If she wants to keep the baby, then you can’t make her change her mind. But you can sit down and talk to her about it. Maybe make a list of pros and cons for parenting and adoption. And be completely honest about your apprehensions concerning parenting and getting married. I’m sure if she cares about you enough to marry you, she will be willing to compromise with you. Remember to say it in a way that won’t be hurtful to her. She is in a very emotionally difficult and fragile position right now. Placing a child and parenting are both very difficult, and can both be very rewarding.

Don’t forget that you need to think of what is best for the child too!

Good luck.

]]> By: angelcuddle http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/my-girlfriend-is-pregnant-and-im-thinking-about-giving-the-baby-up-for-adoptionheres-the-situation/comment-page-1/#comment-3813 angelcuddle Mon, 01 Jun 2009 17:01:10 +0000 http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/my-girlfriend-is-pregnant-and-im-thinking-about-giving-the-baby-up-for-adoptionheres-the-situation/#comment-3813 Wow....I assume when you were in the act of creating this child you never thought for one minute about telling this poor girl you were not interested in a "long term" relationship. Sounds like you want the easy way at the expense of this girl and your unborn child. All I hear is ME ME ME!!! What about the other two lives that are affected in "your" decision to place her child for adoption. This is EXACTLY what I mean when I say that woman are forced into the decision to place or terminate because A MAN will not live up to the responsibility to care for the life he helped create. You have no right to persuade her to do what you want! Wow….I assume when you were in the act of creating this child you never thought for one minute about telling this poor girl you were not interested in a “long term” relationship.

Sounds like you want the easy way at the expense of this girl and your unborn child. All I hear is ME ME ME!!!
What about the other two lives that are affected in “your” decision to place her child for adoption.

This is EXACTLY what I mean when I say that woman are forced into the decision to place or terminate because A MAN will not live up to the responsibility to care for the life he helped create.

You have no right to persuade her to do what you want!

]]> By: Lee21 http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/my-girlfriend-is-pregnant-and-im-thinking-about-giving-the-baby-up-for-adoptionheres-the-situation/comment-page-1/#comment-3812 Lee21 Sat, 30 May 2009 11:33:24 +0000 http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/my-girlfriend-is-pregnant-and-im-thinking-about-giving-the-baby-up-for-adoptionheres-the-situation/#comment-3812 Ok... despite what you want,... you both have to agree to put the baby up for adoption. You can't just tell her that's what you're going to do. Secondly... if you aren't ready for marriage you need to be completely upfront about that with your girlfriend. And if she decides to keep the baby that is her choice. You should really think about this kind of thing before hand... Either way.. this will be a huge change for the rest of your life. Ok… despite what you want,… you both have to agree to put the baby up for adoption. You can’t just tell her that’s what you’re going to do.

Secondly… if you aren’t ready for marriage you need to be completely upfront about that with your girlfriend. And if she decides to keep the baby that is her choice.

You should really think about this kind of thing before hand… Either way.. this will be a huge change for the rest of your life.

]]> By: Wow! http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/my-girlfriend-is-pregnant-and-im-thinking-about-giving-the-baby-up-for-adoptionheres-the-situation/comment-page-1/#comment-3811 Wow! Fri, 29 May 2009 21:50:04 +0000 http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/my-girlfriend-is-pregnant-and-im-thinking-about-giving-the-baby-up-for-adoptionheres-the-situation/#comment-3811 Both of you need to sit down and discuss what you want to do. If you are both willing to place your child, look at the sites listed. Otherwise, be an active participant in your child's life. Best of luck either way! Both of you need to sit down and discuss what you want to do. If you are both willing to place your child, look at the sites listed. Otherwise, be an active participant in your child’s life.
Best of luck either way!

]]> By: De http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/my-girlfriend-is-pregnant-and-im-thinking-about-giving-the-baby-up-for-adoptionheres-the-situation/comment-page-1/#comment-3810 De Thu, 28 May 2009 17:51:29 +0000 http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/my-girlfriend-is-pregnant-and-im-thinking-about-giving-the-baby-up-for-adoptionheres-the-situation/#comment-3810 A child is on the way and if she doesn't want to give the baby up, she won't. What you do know is up to you. You can get nailed for child support and have no relationship with the child or you can step up and be a Dad and that does not mean you have to marry the Mom yet. Talk it over with her and tell her what you told us, your not ready for marriage but know what your going to do in relation to the child. With children come great responsibility A child is on the way and if she doesn’t want to give the baby up, she won’t. What you do know is up to you. You can get nailed for child support and have no relationship with the child or you can step up and be a Dad and that does not mean you have to marry the Mom yet. Talk it over with her and tell her what you told us, your not ready for marriage but know what your going to do in relation to the child. With children come great responsibility

]]> By: Camira B http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/my-girlfriend-is-pregnant-and-im-thinking-about-giving-the-baby-up-for-adoptionheres-the-situation/comment-page-1/#comment-3809 Camira B Thu, 28 May 2009 03:38:17 +0000 http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/my-girlfriend-is-pregnant-and-im-thinking-about-giving-the-baby-up-for-adoptionheres-the-situation/#comment-3809 First off, I don't agree with all the people scolding this guy for "not using protection" and saying, "it's all your fault." Sometimes protection doesn't work so that's not a 100%. The the guy, I think you're being a little selfish, but I understand the shock of an unplanned pregnancy (and even the shock of a planned one) so I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're just a bit freaked out and trying to figure out what to do. I noted you asked what would be best for the baby so your question can't be entirely selfish. You say you'll be making good money and will be able to support a child in two or 3 years. I would think that a bit of a struggle for the first two years would be worth that beautiful child. I also think that if the child was given up for adoption, 3 to 4 years later you would feel very guilty because you now have money to take care of him or her, but you already gave up the chance. I don't think it's necessary to get married and if that's the main issue, talk to your gf. If you're willing to support her and baby emotionally and financially then tell her that you'll do so and that marriage is something you're just not ready for at the moment but that won't change things in terms of support. Maybe she is worried you'll bail out on her. Finally, in the end, it's her decision. You can't give up the baby for adoption without her consent so I think the question her is are you going to support her in her decision or not? First off, I don’t agree with all the people scolding this guy for “not using protection” and saying, “it’s all your fault.” Sometimes protection doesn’t work so that’s not a 100%.

The the guy, I think you’re being a little selfish, but I understand the shock of an unplanned pregnancy (and even the shock of a planned one) so I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you’re just a bit freaked out and trying to figure out what to do. I noted you asked what would be best for the baby so your question can’t be entirely selfish.

You say you’ll be making good money and will be able to support a child in two or 3 years. I would think that a bit of a struggle for the first two years would be worth that beautiful child. I also think that if the child was given up for adoption, 3 to 4 years later you would feel very guilty because you now have money to take care of him or her, but you already gave up the chance.

I don’t think it’s necessary to get married and if that’s the main issue, talk to your gf. If you’re willing to support her and baby emotionally and financially then tell her that you’ll do so and that marriage is something you’re just not ready for at the moment but that won’t change things in terms of support. Maybe she is worried you’ll bail out on her.

Finally, in the end, it’s her decision. You can’t give up the baby for adoption without her consent so I think the question her is are you going to support her in her decision or not?

]]> By: Twist of Fate http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/my-girlfriend-is-pregnant-and-im-thinking-about-giving-the-baby-up-for-adoptionheres-the-situation/comment-page-1/#comment-3808 Twist of Fate Tue, 26 May 2009 18:57:25 +0000 http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/my-girlfriend-is-pregnant-and-im-thinking-about-giving-the-baby-up-for-adoptionheres-the-situation/#comment-3808 Sir Adoption is not an option if both biological parents don’t agree to it. If your girlfriend does not want to place the baby then you can’t. Just as she would not be able to place if she wanted too and you didn’t want too. If you were not ready for children then you should have taken greater measures to prevent it. However you would have also known that even with measures it’s a possibility that you could get her pregnant. You will need to sit down and talk this out regardless if you are ready for a child; you are going to have one in 9months or less. That said you don’t have to get married at this time in fact if you don’t want to you don’t ever have to end up marrying this woman. You do need to provide for your child that you helped created both financially and emotionally as well. You should also help pay for the mother medical costs. Sir Adoption is not an option if both biological parents don’t agree to it. If your girlfriend does not want to place the baby then you can’t. Just as she would not be able to place if she wanted too and you didn’t want too.

If you were not ready for children then you should have taken greater measures to prevent it. However you would have also known that even with measures it’s a possibility that you could get her pregnant. You will need to sit down and talk this out regardless if you are ready for a child; you are going to have one in 9months or less.

That said you don’t have to get married at this time in fact if you don’t want to you don’t ever have to end up marrying this woman. You do need to provide for your child that you helped created both financially and emotionally as well. You should also help pay for the mother medical costs.

]]> By: achert http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/my-girlfriend-is-pregnant-and-im-thinking-about-giving-the-baby-up-for-adoptionheres-the-situation/comment-page-1/#comment-3807 achert Sun, 24 May 2009 09:55:21 +0000 http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/my-girlfriend-is-pregnant-and-im-thinking-about-giving-the-baby-up-for-adoptionheres-the-situation/#comment-3807 The best thing for the baby would be to stay with his mom and dad, if possible. You don't have to get married to have a relationship with your child. Yes, you are young and don't feel ready, but 15 years when you are a bit older, you will be happy that you maintained a relationship with your child. You will never have enough money, so that is not a good reason not to keep a baby. Babies need love more than anything. Why don't you guys support the baby together. It will make your life complicated, especially if you don't stay together, but it's worth it. The best thing for the baby would be to stay with his mom and dad, if possible. You don’t have to get married to have a relationship with your child. Yes, you are young and don’t feel ready, but 15 years when you are a bit older, you will be happy that you maintained a relationship with your child. You will never have enough money, so that is not a good reason not to keep a baby. Babies need love more than anything. Why don’t you guys support the baby together. It will make your life complicated, especially if you don’t stay together, but it’s worth it.

]]> By: tish http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/my-girlfriend-is-pregnant-and-im-thinking-about-giving-the-baby-up-for-adoptionheres-the-situation/comment-page-1/#comment-3806 tish Thu, 21 May 2009 18:25:28 +0000 http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/my-girlfriend-is-pregnant-and-im-thinking-about-giving-the-baby-up-for-adoptionheres-the-situation/#comment-3806 sorry dude. but you can't MAKE HER place the baby because you are not ready to parent. if you wish to not be with her, that's fine. but the final decision to place is hers. and if she doesn't want to, then i guess you'll be a dad...ready or not. ps. ripping a baby from its natal bond is never a good think, except in cases of abuse or neglect. many people successfully parented chidren with far less and did fine. sorry dude. but you can’t MAKE HER place the baby because you are not ready to parent.

if you wish to not be with her, that’s fine. but the final decision to place is hers. and if she doesn’t want to, then i guess you’ll be a dad…ready or not.

ps. ripping a baby from its natal bond is never a good think, except in cases of abuse or neglect. many people successfully parented chidren with far less and did fine.

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