My little sister(13yrs old)just had a baby.My mom wants2keep it,i think adoption,how about u?How do i sway her
Baby Liam due 6/8/09 asked:
I think she is way to young and has a life in front of her. My mother see the baby as child # 8.( which I am the Oldest of) My sister will do what she is told.She is terrified Icant be the only one that sees it. I want to tell her se has an option. I just dont know how with out being chastized. Then I will be un able to help at all. Did I mention No One was aware until yhey had to do an emergancy c section that she was pregnant. You think you would know,but you would be suprised on wht a baggy t shirt and some nevity can hide.
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I think she is way to young and has a life in front of her. My mother see the baby as child # 8.( which I am the Oldest of) My sister will do what she is told.She is terrified Icant be the only one that sees it. I want to tell her se has an option. I just dont know how with out being chastized. Then I will be un able to help at all. Did I mention No One was aware until yhey had to do an emergancy c section that she was pregnant. You think you would know,but you would be suprised on wht a baggy t shirt and some nevity can hide.
November 25th, 2009 at 10:37 am
adoption drgoodhi
November 28th, 2009 at 8:32 pm
Don’t try to sway her just let her chose she already made one mistake soo leave it be Shelby S
December 2nd, 2009 at 7:21 am
oh snap! Sam
December 5th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
i knew a mom that adopted her daughters baby. It turned out really good actaully. The girl is married and grown now with her own kids and her mom is still raising her adpopted daughter that is now 13… Cher666
December 6th, 2009 at 6:12 am
13 is REALLY young to be having a baby and that might hold her back alot in life but when she’s older she may regret giving up her child so it’s a hard thing to decide. rachelmichelle_07
December 9th, 2009 at 7:54 am
I think your sister should make the choice herself. If your mother is willing to help her then you could be sure that your niece/nephew is in a loving environment and with family. My niece also had a baby when she was 13. She is now 15 and a very good mother. mickey
December 10th, 2009 at 10:50 pm
Your sister can keep the baby just as long as she doesn’t forget about it or leave all the responsibilities to your mom. Your mom is very stressed out about this situation, so if she decides to put it up for adoption, it probably would be the best idea. Your sister should concentrate on school and getting back on track. Zoey
December 12th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
Oh… Oh my… She is much too young and–…
Oh my… This is…
Goodness, I–…
I–… That’s shocking…
She can’t…
… It’s her decision, I suppose… mrpersonpeople
December 15th, 2009 at 5:05 am
Whats wrong with your mother taking care of the child? This is her grandchild after all. Your neice or nephew. Ashley P
December 17th, 2009 at 1:17 am
you should definetly keep it… and just tell her you are there fore her and she has an option with whatever she choses to do!! good luck! Nicole S
December 20th, 2009 at 6:27 am
i hope your parents will do the right thing. Of course you will have a say in it, your her sister. I hope. Girl_in_love
December 23rd, 2009 at 6:39 am
HUH!? asheslovesjoel
December 26th, 2009 at 12:54 am
I think you should try to accept the situation as much as you can. There is counseling available for you to help cope with the situation. Try being suppotrive towards your sister, she needs it right now. Everyone makes mistakes, let’s just hope your sister learns from this one. Good luck. LiSa B
December 29th, 2009 at 1:55 am
Im on your moms side. The baby is a huge part of the family,just as much as you are. Your mom dosent want to lose her grandbaby.A baby isnt something you just toss or give away bc you arent ready. Your sister made a mistake I hope she learns from. She needs love,understanding and guidance and lots of it. She’s unsure but she’s going to love her baby as much as your mom loves you and your sister. Im proud of your sister for not having an abortion and to she cant financiallysupport the child on her own,your mom will be supportive and it will work out. TrofyWife
January 1st, 2010 at 5:28 am
My mother had me when she was 13. She was told her options but she wanted to keep me. Although I’m sure she had good intentions, my grandparents ended up raising me. At about 21 my mom sorta went crazy trying to be young. She got addicted to drugs and still is at 41 years old. I think having me so young robbed her of her youth, and in the end ruined her life. However, I think I turned out just fine under my grandparents. I’m not sure what you should tell your sister, I just thought you should know the outcome of a child in that same situation. Smitten_Kitten
January 3rd, 2010 at 4:32 am
That is 100% up to your sister…
Sorry there is nothing you can do. Remind her that she is thinking for “2″ and is a mom.. and needs to make decisions like one.
You and you mother can present her with the pros and cons of keeping a child and she can pick. So far it doesn’t sound like she has made great decisions… expecially by hiding her pregnancy.
Ask your mom if you and her can help your sister feel “not so scared” she’ll make a better dicision that way. linsey5130
January 6th, 2010 at 1:25 pm
let her decide whats right for her i understand she is only 13 but if you push your idea on her it is just going to push her away from you angel
January 9th, 2010 at 2:52 pm
It is your sisters decision but seeing as she is a minor your mother will most likely be the one to support and raise the child. She is very young and she does have a lot of life ahead of her but she made the choice of having unprotected sex. I was a young mother also. I was 17 when I had my son. That is still a big age gap but no less a big decision. I have a wonderful son and I could not imagine my life without him. I say give her a chance. People do the most amazing things when they are forced to live up to their actions. gemir69
January 11th, 2010 at 2:05 pm
this is a decision your sister has to make on her own, dont try to convince her to give the baby up because that may not be what she wants to do and she may resent you for it later. Your sister is still young but she made the decision to have sex and she made the decision to follow through with the pregnancy instead of having an abortion so now she needs to make the decision(ON HER OWN) whether or not to keep this baby.
You as her older sister should sit her down and talk to her and tell her all the responsibilities that come along with having a baby . . . the good and the bad. elizabitch
January 14th, 2010 at 10:58 am
Hi, First, what does your sister REALLY want to do? It is her choice, not your Mother or you. She has to make the ultimate decision and she is the one that is going to have to live with whatever she decides to do. The law is on her side, so don’t let anyone bully or make the decision for her. Both you and your mother should sit down with your sister, give her all the options available and assure her that you love her and will support whatever she decides. She will eventually resent and might become estranged if she does not do what SHE wants and just goes along with whatever everyone else decides. Good Luck to all of you! sunshinesue_1999
January 16th, 2010 at 8:15 am
i’m not sure how that works since she is underage? Your mother may very well have the rights to make her decisions since she is so young. I know things may seem bad right now and your concerned for your sister, but in a short time you will be attached to that baby. You’ll probably be happy that your mother wanted to keep it and your also lucky that she’s willing to do that. Peace and love to you and your family, things will be fine in due time
CherBear
January 19th, 2010 at 5:01 pm
It is not up to you what your sister does with her baby. You can share your taughts on it but it is really up to her and your mother they need to talk things though and yes she has a life ahead of her but no one said a baby couldn’t be in it clearly your mother is willing to help she can still go to school and care for her child. Cherokee_Breeze
January 21st, 2010 at 8:39 am
First of all no one should try and sway your mother or your sister into adoption. Ultimately it is your sister’s decision on whether or not to keep the baby. If your mom wants to help and take care of it is her business. If you try and push what you think is right, you may be faced with a lot of resentment down the road and that would put a big wedge between you and your sister,possibly your mom too. If there is any question in her mind as to keep the baby she should see a professional therapist and really talk through this with someone. Adoption is a big decision and shouldn’t be pushed on someone and shouldn’t be decided by someone who is not the child’s parent. The best thing you can do is support your sister and let her know that you are there for her no matter what she decides to do. Believe me been through the same situation I had custody of my 15 year old sister and she got pregnant and i told her no matter what she decided i would be there for her. And now she has her son and has made a complete change around from the wild young partier that she used to be. So in her case he has settled her down and now she is about to graduate with honors (early)! chaparra1009
January 23rd, 2010 at 5:29 pm
Your mother is not going to let your sister make her own choice. IF you get involved you may make things worse for all three of you. If your mother is willing to have her keep the baby than I say let her keep the family together.( it’s rare that parents will be that supportive in raising or help raising there kids’ children) Your sister made her own choice to have sex and hide the fact that she was pregnant. Your mom is probably not going to let your sister make anymore decisions.
If you start anything you may get caught in the crossfire. Just be a supportive aunt and sister and let your mom and your sister iron it out. mistyfan69
January 25th, 2010 at 7:52 am
I think that what your mother has decided is between her and your sister. You did not have that baby, your sister did. You are not that baby’s mother or grandmother so you have no say in who raises it.
Seriously, you will find out that your family is going to do things that you think are absolutely crazy but the only person on this Earth whom you need to worry about is YOU. If you don’t agree with what your mother and sister are doing, then bookmark that thought in your mind and vow to raise your children differently.
Your mom raised 7 kids, I think she knows quite well what she is getting into. If you are mad or jealous of your sister for getting the attention right now, then you need to work on that on your own. TrixyLoo
January 28th, 2010 at 5:51 am
Wow 13yr old and had a baby ,my grandmother was 14 and she kept her baby married the man and lived happily ever after.(fairy talus just don’t seem to happen anymore).
Your sister must not be that terrified ,else she would not of had sex.
Is your mum a good mum? and is she going to raise this baby as here own.
As that’s what i would do or help your sister as much as i could and try to make sure your sister gets on with her life , Which maybe she wont the baby and will be a great mum.
Good luck to you all . ismelllikeroses2003
January 29th, 2010 at 12:01 am
Don’t try to sway her. It’s not like it’s someones baby that you don’t know. That’s your moms grand baby. Of course she would want to keep him/her. And your neaice or nephew. If I was her I would keep the baby. I mean the baby is family. Have a heart. Princess
January 29th, 2010 at 3:48 pm
how did ur mom not kno she was pregnant layla
January 30th, 2010 at 2:22 am
your sis is way way to yung ur rite she does have a life in front of her if she doesnt continue having babys with all diff men god says u shuld not have sex untill after marrage kyle d
January 30th, 2010 at 2:19 pm
Wow well i see it as she made this mistake of having sex, having the baby and ruining most of her goals for the future but i supose being the older sister, i would say she needs to put it up for adoption. She has or should have goals in life and if collage and high school is one of them, this baby will interfere with it. She may love it but i also think the father would not help at all. Being so young you wouldn’t expect him to. Talk to her about it and what she should do. Not for the sake of the baby so much but for the sake of her. Shaw - Ba- 12
January 31st, 2010 at 4:18 pm
well..it was her decision to have this baby..her choice to have sex and have the baby in the first place, so you are going to have to let her decide..if she wants to keep it..let her..its hers and if she dosent, then help her..but dont try to sway her into anythign..let her decide on her own xxluvsickbabigurlxx
February 1st, 2010 at 4:59 pm
Tell your sister that she can keep it or give it up for adoption. DO NOT LET HER GET AN ABORTION! Explain to her that she has parental rights on this child, and she chooses what to do with this child. ♥CoUnTrY_GaL♥
February 3rd, 2010 at 8:41 pm
I don’t know your age, but you are probably an adult or near to being. Your sister isn’t and your mom is a rather experienced mom. I think that is squarely between them and ultimately , in most or all states your mom has the right to decide for her because of her age. What I’m saying is let them solve it unless they invite you to advise them and maybe even if they do invite youm you’d be better saying no thanks.
I bet your mom raises that baby despite any objections, just my guess. rumbler_12
February 4th, 2010 at 9:08 pm
If your mom wants to be the one who will raise the child then it works out for everyone. Emily
February 7th, 2010 at 8:28 pm
your sis chose to have the baby, she can chose what do do with it, but i would suggst keeping it b
February 8th, 2010 at 1:28 am
She got herself pregnant, she needs to take some responsibility… It is her decision what happens to the baby, I think that your mom should parent the child because addoption can be a horrible thing for children… 2 of my friends who are twins were put up for addoption when they were 3 (they OD’d on cocaine and were in intensive care in the hospital for 6 months… they ate coke because they were starving and had no food) In their case, I agree with them having been put up for adoption, unfortunately for them, the law prevented them from adoption and they were put in foster care, if the baby doesnt get addopted, he/she will grow up thinking no one loves him/her… you dont want that, do you? both my friends are now drug addicts and alcoholics because they are convinced no one loves them and no one ever has… and its not just them, its most children who are in foster care or are addopted… I guarentee if your mom parents that baby, it will be more loved than in a foster home… But I also strongly believe the decision is up to your little sister… C
February 10th, 2010 at 8:15 pm
ANYone who is suggesting that this 13 year old child has a CHOICE to keep this baby is sniffing glue. a 13 year old does not have the means to care for herself much less an infant. that baby and that baby’s mother are both dependant on someone else to care for them. when she is on her own, she can make choices, but for now…she is a child.
GIVE IT UP.
it is not a doll.
GIVE IT UP. earthmonkey
February 13th, 2010 at 1:46 pm
i think uour lying….theres no way no one noticed! Sarah
February 13th, 2010 at 8:11 pm
it’s her baby… and her choice… it’s her life… if she was too young to have sex… she should have never had sex. Aneesa S
February 15th, 2010 at 3:27 am
That is a tough decision. It is going to need to be a joint decision. If your Mom feels your family can handle it financially I personally feel it is the best for the child to stay with family. If not, adoption is a viable alternative (maybe an open adoption). snddupree
February 15th, 2010 at 5:47 am
it is not up to you to sway her stay out of it my_heartlieswithin@yahoo.com
February 17th, 2010 at 12:53 am
I think that it sould be ultimatly your sisters choice, even though she is only 13, she is the one that will have to live with the choise. Maybe she can talk to a school counseler or someone that she trusts and they can find out what she really wants. I am guessing she wants to keep the baby if she went the full term without telling anyone about it and not doing anything, like having an abortion, during that time. Good Luck! Amanda S
February 19th, 2010 at 2:38 am
if I was your mom, I’d keep it and raise it as my own as well. It’s her baby’s child! Why should there be a problem with your mom adopting the baby? That way, your sister can have a life.
I’ve heard stories of women not knowing that they were pregnant until they went in to the ER with back or abdominal pain and the baby either crowned or showed up on an x-ray. Not much surprises me anymore. babygirlnc
February 21st, 2010 at 10:48 am
wow. 8. thats a lot of people to feed.
do you even have room in the house?
I think that your mom adopting your niece/nephew is a a good idea…its just that the family is big enough already.
I think it should go up for adoption. Give it to a family that will love it just as much as you guys do. Try to stay in touch with that family, if it eases the pain.
Still, your mom seems persistent in keeping her grandchild. If your sister does in fact keep it, she should condiser applying for WIC or an organization that will help her raise her baby. She should even take a few teen pregnancy classes–kind of like counseling for teen parents.
I think its very nice that you care for your sister. Good luck n God bless. cattys_cats
February 24th, 2010 at 6:09 am
It’s not your baby and not your decision to make. If your mom wants your sister to keep the baby than she has to listen to her mother as she is a minor. It seems your sister will have lots of support from your mom in raising the child. Not all teen moms get that. Most of them get thrown out of the house. She should be grateful that her mom didn’t force her to have an abortion. She can do it. There are lots of welfare programs she can get on. baddrose268
February 27th, 2010 at 1:29 am
You are very correct! Adoption is perfect. Sway your mother with the argument that a baby with two YOUNG parents that only focus on her and have a whole life ahead of them is better than a having only a 13 year old mother. Please! Would a child want to know that her mother was a disgrace to all women and had a child at souch a young age??? Xmas Elf