Comments on: once u decide to place a baby for adoption whats the process u go through?

By: sarahhhhhhh

sarahhhhhhh — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 17:08:51 +0000

Just anouther is right. If your not 100% sure that you want to give your child up for adoption then dont do it!

It will cause you more confusion and upset. You have to dot his if your circumstances mean that you cant provide for the child. If you think you can provide for the child then DONT put the child up for adoption.

Do what you think is right in your heart.

Good luck to you whatever you decide

By: Regina L

Regina L — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 20:15:38 +0000

in NJ it’s 3 days- each state is different your “friend” needs to contact an agency, and get answers. Call 1-800-327-baby to talk to a social worker who can advise her/you of rights. Good Luck to your friend it must be a very hard decision!

By: lucy luck**

lucy luck** — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 03:27:12 +0000

You can go online and look at adotion agency and look @ parent profiles. You do not sign your righs away as a birth parent until after the child is born. As the birth mother you can make a lot of decision on the time frame you set to sign the paperwork to make the adoption final. You can interview prospective parents and meet with them, all before you make a final decision on anything.

By: sammihollister22

sammihollister22 — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 01:53:57 +0000

well once you find out you are pregnant, you should contact an adoption agency. they will tell you all your options with adoption and other things (keeping the baby and etc.) and from their, you get to choose possible adopted parents for you baby. you can meet them or whatever, even get close if you want to have an open adoption and once your baby is born she or he can go home with your chosen couple.

you and the father will have to sign paper work revoking your parental rights.

By: TARA S

TARA S — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 19:47:56 +0000

What you will need to remember is that adoption is a difficult process, although it is done either through social services, or privately it supports both the birth mum and prospective adopters it is still a diificult process for both parties.

There is a time between birth mum giving up baby for adoption and the legalisation of adoptive parents becoming legal parents, which can take up to one year, but even if birth mum changes her mind at this stage it is unlikely that the child would be placed back into her care.

When thinking about adoption please remember that it is a life long process, you and the child will not be able to ignore the fact that the adoption has taken place, and could have a large impact on both of your lives.

If you are considering this good luck either way.
I am adopted and am really thankful to my adoptive parents, and to my birth mother who recognised that she was not in a position to keep me.

By: sam22254

sam22254 — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 21:04:09 +0000

I don’t know about what the mother’s go through just what my son has gone through. After finding out by mistake (he wasn’t suppose to know about the pregancy or birth or adoption plan)
1. Beg hospital for info (told not to call) Call. cps, fbi and who ever you can think of to stop your child from being taken
2. File for claim of perterity with state
3. Get lawyer and take them to court, He did this because he had a court date for his daughter from the same mother
4. Wait intil court decides to hear case or transfer to another court months go by.
5.Go to state board of social worker. Take the social worker to court on ethic charges (2 years go by and still waiting for him to get his 2 years probation for not informing him of his rights)
6. Go to another court and wait still asking where your son is (no-one will tellyou_)
7. File charges with who ever reglates the adoption agency
8. Ask and pay for DNA wait 6 months until everyone else is ready to give you one.
9. Wait in til couple get in law suit to find out where your child is
10. Ask for visitaion. Go to court for custory
11. By then they will use best interest or say you abandon your child
12. After court wait for 1 year for judge to do the final
After all this watch all these people saying leave the child where it is. Leave the child with the only parents they have ever knew. Let the couple who with the adoption agency hid your child, Kidnapped the child keep him.
13 NEVER< NEVER stop fighting. Look forward to the visitaion you get and feel like crap when you have to say good by to your child again.
14. Final thing Sue the adoption agency, the social worker, and the couple for the pain you have had to go through. And who ever runs the adoption agency or funds them.
Now if I seem bitter I have watched a young man go through hell for his son only to be slaped down for wanting to be a father to his child

By: tish

tish — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 23:09:56 +0000

the thought that you (or whomever you are asking this question for) might change your (their) mind reads like you (she) are unsure about making an adoption plan. i would ask you, why do you (she) feel it necessary to place this child?

changing your(her) mind is different in every state. some states offer 6 months time when the mom can reclaim the baby. others (like Florida) are immediate and can’t be changed. in other words, depending on where you (she) live, you (she) might have up to 6 months and as little as 0 days to reclaim your (her) baby.

as a woman who made a plan and later changed my mind (prior to relinquishment) i will say that changing your mind is not looked favorably upon in the adoption world. many will call you (her) a scammer, and accuse you (her) of causing the aparents a pain the same as the death of a child.

in other words, if you (she) are unsure, i’d seriously look into all of your (her) options before making a plan.

also, you mentioned “[what] if the baby’s born”, which to me reads that you (she) have already had the child. my question is, what about that child? contrary to what many believe, a baby DOES know its mom and can recognize her. read some of the adoptees experiences on this board to get some insight about what adopted children experience.

people often think about what’s best for the baby is a two-parent home with strangers who have a decent bank account. i vehemently disagree. although there are some GREAT aparents out there, there are some who are just as screwed up as they claim the b/f/nmom is. the only variable that’s different is that the aparents usually are older, with more resources.

absent of abuse, i think a child should only be placed for adoption after ALL other avenues have been exhausted. and quite honestly, the bmoms i know who are solid in their decision to place, NEVER thought about changing their minds. although they love their children, they were sure about their decision. so if you (she) are even asking the question, i really think you should rethink this a bit more.

By: fancy*penguin

fancy*penguin — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 07:07:51 +0000

i guess you like tell someone like a caseworker or something like that.
then you can choose the adoption agency. I am 14 and a half, and my mom adopted me. I have no idea who my real mom is, but when im 18, i wanna find her. =]]
good luck.

By: vicky g

vicky g — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 20:44:35 +0000

i think your first step would be to think about having the contraceptive injection after the birth if you are pregnant now, i’m not saying that in a nasty way but if you think your ready to have unprotected sex then you should be ready to accept the consiquences of parent-hood. I think its a better choice to give someone else the chance of being a parent rather than having an abortion but ultimatly unless your an alchoholic or a drug user no body could be a better parent to your child than yourself.
Once you have given your child up for adoption there is no going back, they wont even tell you where the child is living or who they are living with, not even the adoptive parents will be given the info of who the natural parents are or where they live.

The best thing is to research it thorougly and give yourself a few weeks/months after the baby is born to see how you feel and see how you cope being a parent before you make the biggest decision of your life, if you dont you could end up walking round for many years looking at every child you see wondering if that is your child, or wondering what your child is doing, what do they look like. Also how would you feel if god forbid something bad happened to your child and you only found out because you decided to look for them later on in life?

I hope whatever you decide turns out to be the right desicion for you

By: Julie R

Julie R — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 20:22:36 +0000

Sunny & JustAnotherAdoptee are correct. Once an adoption plan is made, it is almost impossible to reverse it.

NEVER consider “changing your mind” as a back-up plan. Although many mothers do change their minds (because so many are railroaded in the first place), very very few of them manage to get their precious children back.