My Adopted Baby

collegechick asked:


I am 19 years old and am a junior at university. My bf of 3 years has become a different person who drink, smokes, partys, and does illegal drugs. I disagree with all of these things and although I hope it’s a phase. We ended our relationship February. Shortly afterwards my mother’s cancer progressed and she passed away this Easter after five strong years of fighting. A week after the funeral I realized that my period was way off. I thought it was stress but I was 3 months pregnant.

I have tried to be responsible with the pregnancy and the baby has been very healthy. I told my ex the day I found out and have informed a few family members that will respect me no matter what choice I make about the future of the baby. I am 6 months along and although I have been doing research and counseling, I can’t seem to decide. Should I parent or place the baby in an adoptive family?
Financially the baby will be well provided for, unfortunately curtsy of the inheritance I just received. My biggest concerns are that the father will be wishy-washy in the child’s life if I decide to parent. My dad is concerned that I will have to become a mother too quickly and miss out on dating and the social life that I have been developing. I plan to finish school which will take two years and will still like to pursue my dream of becoming a lawyer, which is feasible with a baby but difficult. My worst fear is that I jealously want the baby to fit into my life, instead of mine centering on him.

With an (open) adoptive family he’d be well provided for and surrounded by two parents that adore each other as well as him. Counselors have asked me to divide the situation into 3 questions: Whats best for the father: adoption. Whats best for the mother: I adore the baby and would love to raise him and finally; Whats best for the baby?
That’s where I get stuck. So with the info you have on me, my situation, and your own life experiences, what do you think I should do?/what do you think is best for the baby?