What are some reasons that birthmothers put their baby up for adoption?
Owl asked:
All answers will be respected..and appreciated
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All answers will be respected..and appreciated
March 2nd, 2009 at 6:07 am
They are unable to care for the child financially or emotionally. They want their baby to have a better life than they could provide.
They got pregnant accidentally and don’t want to have an abortion but can’t take care of the baby..
March 4th, 2009 at 11:41 am
Not ready to have a baby, don’t have the resources to give baby a good life, don’t believe in abortion…
March 6th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
they can’t provide the life that they think the baby deserves…or they are like ten and don’t want it 2 ruin their life…many people put their babies up for adpotion because they are not ready to have them or they just can’t provide for them because they are broke
March 9th, 2009 at 4:57 am
they are too young, they have no family support, they were raped and did not want an abortion but didn’t want the baby either, they do not have the means to raise the child, they are druggies, and/or many other reasons that could just be very personal to that person
March 9th, 2009 at 7:31 pm
1) being abused by their partner, physically and/or mentally and the mother wants more for her child
2)terminal illness in the mother
3)child is outcome of rape
4)underage mother
5)homelessness
6)money problems-cant provide for the child
just a few of the main reasons, hope this helps xxxx
March 12th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
Cant financially afford to take care of one
Divorce or the father and mother arent together
Was a random guy and she didnt want the child to grow up fatherless
Rape
Unplanned pregnancy where they were finished having children
Mental problems (ie stress, depression, anxiety)
Didn’t think she could give the child the life they deserved
March 12th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
My birthmother gave me up since she could not afford another child..I’m thankful she gave me a better life..
March 12th, 2009 at 6:49 pm
Some women don’t feel like they will be able to take care of a child alone. Some couples do this(place child up for adoption) because they don’t feel like they can take care of the child financially. Sometimes, the woman finds herself pregnant and has dreams of continuing her education. Working on a career without any “complications in the success” of that career. And I’m sure there are many more reasons.
Merry Christmas & Best Wishes
March 13th, 2009 at 7:59 pm
It’s a good bet that in most cases, the pregnancy was not planned. Some do it because they feel they’re to immature to raise a baby, don’t have financial or familial support, or just cannot see themselves going through 18 years of child rearing trauma (in their view). Some may not be emotionally able to rear a child, or feel they are too old, ot too young. Some may not know who the father is, or the father is totally unsupportive during the pregnancy. Many in the above-mentioned instances cannot bring themselves to abort the child, so they prefer to give the child up.
March 15th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
Lack of money, depression, unsupportive father and/or family, financial gain, unhealthy baby, can’t manage, unwanted child, unwanted pregnancy, wrong sex, to give somebody else the chance to have a child, changed mind, wanted freedom and independence back, career was more important, other commitments.
March 16th, 2009 at 8:21 pm
There are many who are teen mothers or unwed moms who aren’t able to financially take care of a child. They also may want their child to have a better life than what they are able to give them. There are many who also didn’t want to get pregnant to begin with and yet they don’t think abortion is right and they want to let that child live and so the only way they know how is to give them up for adoption. Sometimes the mother is still in school (high school or college) and they need to finish so they can even get a job.
Every womans story is differant, and yet I haven’t heard of a happily married couple who concieves a baby out of love giving their baby up for adoption, usually (not always) it is a single stuggling mother.
March 17th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
My son’s ex told me she gave away their son (i asked when my son was trying to find him and he was going to court on his daughter to make sure she couldn’t leave the area or hid the child again, she hid both)
She told me there was 2 reason. 1St her new boyfriends family would be so grateful and that her boyfriend said he wouldn’t have another child by my son in his house.
2 nd she didn’t want to pay my son child support or lose some of what my son pays for the daughter.
I don’t know who told her that but she would have never paid a penny in support and he would have still payed for daughter he over pays anyways.
March 18th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
Lack of real and or perceived resources, usually–money and/or support from child’s father, and extended family.
In the US, many mothers are led to believe a ‘two parent’ family is important, and cite statistics to ‘prove’ this point. Trouble is, these numbers do not accurately reflect the adoptive family, but an intact, biological one. Adoptive family statistics are more similar to divorced parents/step family stats.
Another reason some women feel they should give their child up is because they have not ‘finished’ something–high school, college, etc. Sometimes parents or agencies pressure these women to believe that they are not ‘good enough’ to raise their own children.
Here are some sites where you can learn more.
March 21st, 2009 at 12:41 pm
they cant support it
they dont want it
they are to young
arent suited to take care of it
March 24th, 2009 at 11:15 pm
I have been told by my father - that my mother gave me up for adoption because of pressure from her mother (my grandmother) & the church.
She was unwed when she fell pregnant with me - and the stigma of un-wed mother’s was great during that time - the 60’s.
My father offered marriage - but he said that there was no way that the family would let my mother keep me.
My mother was made to move to another state - so as not to shame the family - and I was given up for adoption soon after birth.
My father and mother went on to marry 6 months after my birth.
They went on to have 3 more kids.
My existence was kept a secret from all of them - because my mother was told to go home and never think of me - that I would never want to see her again.
Many other mothers who lost children to adoption around that period have written/talked of similar events.
They were never allowed to talk about their lost children - or openly grieve.
Ask any psychologist - and they will tell you that when you lose a child or loved one - it’s best to talk about them - and have some time to grieve.
Many of these women never got over giving up their children - because they were not allowed to - they were told to forget.
My mother has more or less refused contact with me.
Luckily my father hasn’t given up on me.
It hurts - and it’s very very hard to understand.
March 27th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
In our case…the birth mother was an ass and didn’t deserve children.
March 30th, 2009 at 8:04 am
My Birthmom was married with children. I was placed to save her marriage and adopted for the same reason.
March 31st, 2009 at 11:47 pm
They are being forced by parents. Birthmothers still want to have their nite life, and party, going through harsh divorce, lifestyle- child would have suffered. Child was born with a disability, or illness.
April 3rd, 2009 at 10:46 pm
Many were coerced into believing that adoption was the most “selfless and loving” choice and told that parenting would be “selfish and harmful to the child”. “Don’t you think two parents are better than one? This family has a nice big house with a dog and a yard.”
April 5th, 2009 at 4:06 am
This is a link to a site that has a compelation of MANY mother’s stories of how their babies come to be lost to adoption. Instead of getting general speculations about why *some* mother’s *choose* adoption you can read real experiences.
April 5th, 2009 at 5:03 am
They are not ready to be a parent, yet they don’t want to abort the pregnancy.
April 6th, 2009 at 5:30 am
* they cant aford to pay for them, and the baby
*they are to young
*they have been killed
*they just didnt want you…
email me for more…