Comments on: What are some reasons that birthmothers put their baby up for adoption?

By: CiCi B

CiCi B — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 10:30:58 +0000

* they cant aford to pay for them, and the baby
*they are to young
*they have been killed
*they just didnt want you…
email me for more…

By: Challenge

Challenge — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 10:03:51 +0000

They are not ready to be a parent, yet they don’t want to abort the pregnancy.

By: Adoptionissadnsick

Adoptionissadnsick — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 09:06:58 +0000

This is a link to a site that has a compelation of MANY mother’s stories of how their babies come to be lost to adoption. Instead of getting general speculations about why *some* mother’s *choose* adoption you can read real experiences.

By: Andraya

Andraya — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 03:46:57 +0000

Many were coerced into believing that adoption was the most “selfless and loving” choice and told that parenting would be “selfish and harmful to the child”. “Don’t you think two parents are better than one? This family has a nice big house with a dog and a yard.”

By: Rosie

Rosie — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 04:47:05 +0000

They are being forced by parents. Birthmothers still want to have their nite life, and party, going through harsh divorce, lifestyle- child would have suffered. Child was born with a disability, or illness.

By: casttostrangers

casttostrangers — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 13:04:32 +0000

My Birthmom was married with children. I was placed to save her marriage and adopted for the same reason.

By: Grandma of 2

Grandma of 2 — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 17:26:49 +0000

In our case…the birth mother was an ass and didn’t deserve children.

By: Possum

Possum — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 04:15:22 +0000

I have been told by my father - that my mother gave me up for adoption because of pressure from her mother (my grandmother) & the church.
She was unwed when she fell pregnant with me - and the stigma of un-wed mother’s was great during that time - the 60’s.
My father offered marriage - but he said that there was no way that the family would let my mother keep me.
My mother was made to move to another state - so as not to shame the family - and I was given up for adoption soon after birth.
My father and mother went on to marry 6 months after my birth.
They went on to have 3 more kids.
My existence was kept a secret from all of them - because my mother was told to go home and never think of me - that I would never want to see her again.
Many other mothers who lost children to adoption around that period have written/talked of similar events.
They were never allowed to talk about their lost children - or openly grieve.
Ask any psychologist - and they will tell you that when you lose a child or loved one - it’s best to talk about them - and have some time to grieve.
Many of these women never got over giving up their children - because they were not allowed to - they were told to forget.
My mother has more or less refused contact with me.
Luckily my father hasn’t given up on me.
It hurts - and it’s very very hard to understand.

By: jillybean0224

jillybean0224 — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 17:41:04 +0000

they cant support it
they dont want it
they are to young
arent suited to take care of it

By: sunny

sunny — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 00:36:27 +0000

Lack of real and or perceived resources, usually–money and/or support from child’s father, and extended family.

In the US, many mothers are led to believe a ‘two parent’ family is important, and cite statistics to ‘prove’ this point. Trouble is, these numbers do not accurately reflect the adoptive family, but an intact, biological one. Adoptive family statistics are more similar to divorced parents/step family stats.

Another reason some women feel they should give their child up is because they have not ‘finished’ something–high school, college, etc. Sometimes parents or agencies pressure these women to believe that they are not ‘good enough’ to raise their own children.

Here are some sites where you can learn more.