Comments on: what happens if i put my baby up for adoption? http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/what-happens-if-i-put-my-baby-up-for-adoption/ Tue, 22 May 2012 13:30:49 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: Lori A http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/what-happens-if-i-put-my-baby-up-for-adoption/comment-page-1/#comment-4652 Lori A Mon, 17 Aug 2009 22:00:35 +0000 http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/what-happens-if-i-put-my-baby-up-for-adoption/#comment-4652 Oh goody, goody, goody, a new member the most unpopular club on the planet. I can't wait to meet you in the wee hours of the morning, rung out from sweat and tears, over not knowing how much it was going to hurt. Welcome Oh goody, goody, goody, a new member the most unpopular club on the planet. I can’t wait to meet you in the wee hours of the morning, rung out from sweat and tears, over not knowing how much it was going to hurt. Welcome

]]> By: Fuaite le fuil, gaolta go deo http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/what-happens-if-i-put-my-baby-up-for-adoption/comment-page-1/#comment-4651 Fuaite le fuil, gaolta go deo Sun, 16 Aug 2009 08:46:52 +0000 http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/what-happens-if-i-put-my-baby-up-for-adoption/#comment-4651 You grow that baby in your womb, cry during ultrasounds, feel her kicks. Bond, love and appreciate her. You pick out some APs, who will pay your expenses and when the moment comes that you give birth to YOUR baby, you instantaneously fall in love. The APs then become monsters, pray that you don't change your mind and guilt you into handing over your flesh and blood. Your heart tells you to keep your baby, at this moment you either: (1) do the right thing and raise your baby like nature intended, allowing your baby to grow healthy and happy. You take the help offered and get on programs like WIC and medicaid, which will allow you to get your child free food, medical insurance, housing and can even pay daycare. OR (2) allow yourself to be manipulated, handing over your baby to complete strangers. You go home with your shirt soaked in milk, your hormones high and your heart low. You sob and forever feel a loss. Meanwhile, your baby screams in the arms of someone they've never known, hoping at any moment you will show up and cradle her in your arms. When you don't, she settles for what she's got but forever wonders why she wasn't good enough for you. Point being, you'll be making the worst mistake of your life if you traumatize your child with the act of adoption. Do both of you a favor and either abort or parent. You grow that baby in your womb, cry during ultrasounds, feel her kicks. Bond, love and appreciate her. You pick out some APs, who will pay your expenses and when the moment comes that you give birth to YOUR baby, you instantaneously fall in love. The APs then become monsters, pray that you don’t change your mind and guilt you into handing over your flesh and blood. Your heart tells you to keep your baby, at this moment you either:

(1) do the right thing and raise your baby like nature intended, allowing your baby to grow healthy and happy. You take the help offered and get on programs like WIC and medicaid, which will allow you to get your child free food, medical insurance, housing and can even pay daycare.

OR

(2) allow yourself to be manipulated, handing over your baby to complete strangers. You go home with your shirt soaked in milk, your hormones high and your heart low. You sob and forever feel a loss. Meanwhile, your baby screams in the arms of someone they’ve never known, hoping at any moment you will show up and cradle her in your arms. When you don’t, she settles for what she’s got but forever wonders why she wasn’t good enough for you.

Point being, you’ll be making the worst mistake of your life if you traumatize your child with the act of adoption. Do both of you a favor and either abort or parent.

]]> By: dontknow86 http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/what-happens-if-i-put-my-baby-up-for-adoption/comment-page-1/#comment-4650 dontknow86 Fri, 14 Aug 2009 19:39:33 +0000 http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/what-happens-if-i-put-my-baby-up-for-adoption/#comment-4650 You feel a pain that will never ever heal. You feel a pain that will never ever heal.

]]> By: Lacey http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/what-happens-if-i-put-my-baby-up-for-adoption/comment-page-1/#comment-4649 Lacey Thu, 13 Aug 2009 06:40:51 +0000 http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/what-happens-if-i-put-my-baby-up-for-adoption/#comment-4649 hello . i am 27 years old and i had a son when i was 19 . i chose to give him up for adoption. but my moms best friend had a couple that were her friends that were trying to adopt . so i chose them . i got to see him and now that he is older they just send me pictures. but also i now have two great daughters 1&2 years old. i at the time did not have money and stayed with ,my mom who also did not have money. no im a manager at a major company and make great money . and im aa single mom. i dont regret what i did because it was the best thing to do for him. but it was not easy at the time . you need to make sure that is what you want to do befor you make the decision. it is a big one to make ..... God bless. hello . i am 27 years old and i had a son when i was 19 . i chose to give him up for adoption. but my moms best friend had a couple that were her friends that were trying to adopt . so i chose them . i got to see him and now that he is older they just send me pictures. but also i now have two great daughters 1&2 years old. i at the time did not have money and stayed with ,my mom who also did not have money. no im a manager at a major company and make great money . and im aa single mom. i dont regret what i did because it was the best thing to do for him. but it was not easy at the time . you need to make sure that is what you want to do befor you make the decision. it is a big one to make ….. God bless.

]]> By: life is like the ocean http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/what-happens-if-i-put-my-baby-up-for-adoption/comment-page-1/#comment-4648 life is like the ocean Sun, 09 Aug 2009 20:11:00 +0000 http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/what-happens-if-i-put-my-baby-up-for-adoption/#comment-4648 Do not talk to agencies as Faith suggested. The job of an agency is to acquire a baby for their paying client....adoptive parents. They will use every method available to coerce you out of your baby. Then sell it to the highest bidding adoptive couple. Also, as Faith stated about you breaking the adoptive parents hearts. you do not owe them YOUR baby! If you lost a leg, would you feel like you are entitled to someone elses? No. They are not entitled to YOUR baby. For the other posters that said adoption is good and a loving option. That is not true. It is a different option, and sometimes it is not very loving. My daughter found me several years ago, and I was horrified to find that she was raised in an abusive adoptive home. That is not going to happen in most situations, but it CAN and DOES happen. My daughter would've fared much better without adoption. As far as open adoptions go....they are a boldface LIE. I was promised one too. Never happened. That was a lure to get me to sign over my baby. Not having the openness I was promised broke me inside. It was a slow torture not knowing anything about my child. Keep your baby. Your baby wants only YOU, not a stranger. Adoption is permanent, forever, and it really, really hurts. It is a pain that never goes away. Do not sentence yourself to this kind of hellish life. Keep your baby. Please read everything Cantstop sent you. Do not talk to agencies as Faith suggested. The job of an agency is to acquire a baby for their paying client….adoptive parents. They will use every method available to coerce you out of your baby. Then sell it to the highest bidding adoptive couple.

Also, as Faith stated about you breaking the adoptive parents hearts. you do not owe them YOUR baby! If you lost a leg, would you feel like you are entitled to someone elses? No. They are not entitled to YOUR baby.

For the other posters that said adoption is good and a loving option. That is not true. It is a different option, and sometimes it is not very loving. My daughter found me several years ago, and I was horrified to find that she was raised in an abusive adoptive home. That is not going to happen in most situations, but it CAN and DOES happen. My daughter would’ve fared much better without adoption.

As far as open adoptions go….they are a boldface LIE. I was promised one too. Never happened. That was a lure to get me to sign over my baby. Not having the openness I was promised broke me inside. It was a slow torture not knowing anything about my child.

Keep your baby. Your baby wants only YOU, not a stranger. Adoption is permanent, forever, and it really, really hurts. It is a pain that never goes away. Do not sentence yourself to this kind of hellish life. Keep your baby.

Please read everything Cantstop sent you.

]]> By: Faith K http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/what-happens-if-i-put-my-baby-up-for-adoption/comment-page-1/#comment-4647 Faith K Sat, 08 Aug 2009 08:08:16 +0000 http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/what-happens-if-i-put-my-baby-up-for-adoption/#comment-4647 you should talk to agencys. it is very possible to do that. i hope everything goes good!!! but i recomend NOT choosing a family until you are 100% sure, because you will break the adoptive families heart if you decide not to go through. EDIT: dont listen to these people on here. i was adopted, same with my brothers. and i LOVE my life. i would rather be in a family that can support me rather than be with someone who has to struggle to keep me alive. i still do LOVE my birthmother. she is an amazing lady, even though i probably wont ever meet her. my first son is as happy as can be, even though he doesnt live with me. he knows hes adopted, and hes even drawn me a couple pictures for mothers day that the adoptive parents sent to me. i frame them. do what feels right to YOU. only you can know whats best for your own baby. EDIT: ive kept an open adoption for a LONNNGGG time. i given more than promised by them. not all adoptions go bad. you should talk to agencys. it is very possible to do that. i hope everything goes good!!!
but i recomend NOT choosing a family until you are 100% sure, because you will break the adoptive families heart if you decide not to go through.
EDIT: dont listen to these people on here. i was adopted, same with my brothers. and i LOVE my life. i would rather be in a family that can support me rather than be with someone who has to struggle to keep me alive.
i still do LOVE my birthmother. she is an amazing lady, even though i probably wont ever meet her.
my first son is as happy as can be, even though he doesnt live with me. he knows hes adopted, and hes even drawn me a couple pictures for mothers day that the adoptive parents sent to me. i frame them.
do what feels right to YOU. only you can know whats best for your own baby.

EDIT: ive kept an open adoption for a LONNNGGG time. i given more than promised by them. not all adoptions go bad.

]]> By: Gemma http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/what-happens-if-i-put-my-baby-up-for-adoption/comment-page-1/#comment-4646 Gemma Thu, 06 Aug 2009 15:27:22 +0000 http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/what-happens-if-i-put-my-baby-up-for-adoption/#comment-4646 no after u agree to adoption thats it u cant go back at anytime to regain the care of ur baby dont u have a friend or relative who would look after ur child untill uv had time to sort urself out no after u agree to adoption thats it u cant go back at anytime to regain the care of ur baby dont u have a friend or relative who would look after ur child untill uv had time to sort urself out

]]> By: Carol c http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/what-happens-if-i-put-my-baby-up-for-adoption/comment-page-1/#comment-4645 Carol c Wed, 05 Aug 2009 21:16:32 +0000 http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/what-happens-if-i-put-my-baby-up-for-adoption/#comment-4645 You will never get over it and your child will always wonder why his mother didn't keep him. If you're saying it's just that you can't take care of the baby right now and would want to if things improve - don't make that permanent decision. There are programs to help single mothers - please, please look into them. I never got over losing my son. Good luck.. You will never get over it and your child will always wonder why his mother didn’t keep him. If you’re saying it’s just that you can’t take care of the baby right now and would want to if things improve - don’t make that permanent decision. There are programs to help single mothers - please, please look into them.

I never got over losing my son. Good luck..

]]> By: Heather B http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/what-happens-if-i-put-my-baby-up-for-adoption/comment-page-1/#comment-4644 Heather B Mon, 03 Aug 2009 12:24:36 +0000 http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/what-happens-if-i-put-my-baby-up-for-adoption/#comment-4644 You'll be held up as a selfless goddess and promised the world (before the relinquishment) After the relinquishment you'll be kicked to the kerb and told you have no rights to anything whatsoever. You’ll be held up as a selfless goddess and promised the world (before the relinquishment)

After the relinquishment you’ll be kicked to the kerb and told you have no rights to anything whatsoever.

]]> By: Jennifer L http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/what-happens-if-i-put-my-baby-up-for-adoption/comment-page-1/#comment-4643 Jennifer L Sun, 02 Aug 2009 11:09:28 +0000 http://www.myadoptedbaby.com/blog/what-happens-if-i-put-my-baby-up-for-adoption/#comment-4643 Once adoption papers are signed, there is generally a short period of time where you would have the option to change your mind. It depends on the local laws, but it could be anywhere from 24 hours to 6 months. You need to find out what the "waiting period" is, where you live. It can vary. After that point, the adoption is permanent. It is not possible to change your mind and get your baby back. You definitely need to understand this. After an adoption is finalized, you no longer have any legal rights to your child. There are many resources out there to help struggling parents get on their feet. Yes, this is government assistance. But it's there as a temporary help for situations like this. You can use that assistance to go to school in order to get a better job. Yes, those first few years are very hard. But it can be done! Good luck to you in whatever you decide. Once adoption papers are signed, there is generally a short period of time where you would have the option to change your mind. It depends on the local laws, but it could be anywhere from 24 hours to 6 months. You need to find out what the “waiting period” is, where you live. It can vary.

After that point, the adoption is permanent. It is not possible to change your mind and get your baby back. You definitely need to understand this. After an adoption is finalized, you no longer have any legal rights to your child.

There are many resources out there to help struggling parents get on their feet. Yes, this is government assistance. But it’s there as a temporary help for situations like this. You can use that assistance to go to school in order to get a better job. Yes, those first few years are very hard. But it can be done!

Good luck to you in whatever you decide.

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