Comments on: When should I start looking? Putting baby up for adoption?

By: Tad W

Tad W — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 18:29:10 +0000

You have a moral responsibility to consider all of the available options. I am of the opinion that adoptions are traumatic for both the child and the mother IN ALL cases. That trauma lasts a lifetime. I think of adoption as being like surgery, only done when it is necessary. If you’ve got a gangrenous foot that will kill you otherwise, then amputate. Otherwise do everything you can to save the foot. Same thing with infant adoption. When it is truly the only option, then choose adoption or, as Linny suggests, abortion. In either case you are amputating the emotional, physical and spiritual bond between you and the child. Once you have truly educated yourself on the ramifications and consequences of either choice, then — and only then — can you determine which choice is the least harmful to your baby.

Also understand that there will be emotional repercussions for you no matter what you choose. If you relinquish for adoption, you will experience a grieving process similar to what a mother who has lost a child in death goes through. And since the child is still alive, It is even more difficult to get closure. Tad W

By: Ashley

Ashley — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 11:57:27 +0000

I think if you HONESTLY don’t want your child, then yes start looking now for an adoptive home. But only if your for sure you want to give the baby up. People like my husband and I who cant have one, this gives them what they have been longing for and you don’t have to worry about anything. PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU, DON’T GET AN ABORTION!! It’s already a baby now.. It’s something forming inside you. I hope that you can find a way to raise the baby, but if there is no way at all that you can, then by all means please give them up for adoption, rather it be a family/friend or by going through an agency! I wish you the best of luck, and may god bless you and your child!!! Ashley

By: rugby chick

rugby chick — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 19:22:09 +0000

You should wait till about 6 months. Then you can start looking for a family, or I would contact an adoption agency. Agencies have counseling for you, to help you get through giving your child up for adoption and they also help you to make sure you are doing the right thing for yourself. They support you in whatever your decision is.
Good Luck rugby chick

By: Lish

Lish — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 22:51:06 +0000

decide AFTER you hold your baby and provide him with the very important few days of breast milk whether or not u wanna keep ur child. dont decide now, u might change ur mind but it will be hard to do with eager adoptive parents at the end of the bed waiting to catch baby as he comes out. Lish

By: Kari N

Kari N — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 01:40:31 +0000

The second trimester would be the best time. That way you have time to think about your decision. Don’t listen to these people who are telling you to kill your baby to save them the pain of being raised by another family. That’s like telling you to kill your baby so one day it won’t feel the pain that the world unloads on everyone. Kari N

By: Saggyrl

Saggyrl — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 21:32:40 +0000

Um if you’re not even a month along then you wouldn’t know you are PG!! I smell troll on this one.

Just in case you are legit, I have to say I agree you should abort. I had a couple of abortions as a teen after others begged me to have those babies and give them up for adoption. SO glad I chose abortion- can’t even imagine having my kids out there somewhere, not being able to be with them. I would rather die. Saggyrl

By: AbortHim

AbortHim — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 05:58:15 +0000

Abort, abort, abort.

You and your child will suffer from the tragedy of relinquishment the rest of your lives if you give your child up. Why go through the agony of carrying to term, giving birth, and surrender when you can save yourself and your embryo all of that?

I have counseled a lot women in abortion clinics for many years and most say they are relieved after their pregnancy is terminated AbortHim

By: Angela

Angela — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 09:52:00 +0000

Wait until after birth, most women end up changing their mind after they see and hold their child. But due to pre-birth matching and guilt they feel the can’t change their minds. There is no rush when it comes to adoption. The ratio is 60 ap to 1 infant. So taking your time to educate yourself is best. Look into resources that will help you parent your own child. Money problems and youth are both temporary things that can be worked around and will go away at some point. While putting your child up for adoption will last FOREVER. You will never legally be your child’s parent again.

Even if you find a family now that looks like they may be a good home there is no guarantee it will stay a good home. Thousands of things could happen, they could die, divorce, one of them could be an abuser, they could be into drugs and a ton of other things. Parenting is always best in my opinion.

My husband grow up in the poorest of poor. And i mean poor. At one place they didn’t even have furniture or dishes. They literally ate off the floor. His father would clean it before and after. He remembers eating water down skin milk at the shelter. Did his life turn out bad? Nope, he was well loved by his parents. He joined the air force and makes a ton of money. We are expecting in Feb.

Now his parents much to their regret put 2 of their boys up for adoption (they had 5 boys in total). One of them contacted us after he turned 18. He was adopted out to a doctor and a stay at home mom. His brother had everything he needed and most of what he wanted. Did he turn out like his adoptive siblings? Did he do well in school, go to college and make something of himself like his adoptive siblings did? Nope he made pretty much made the exact same life choices that his nature brothers made. Almost to the T. But what was different is he felt like an outsider his whole life. His choices, which would of been perfectly fine with his natural family, made him the black sheep with his adoptive family. My point is giving your child up to a wealthy “loving” couple doesn’t mean they are going to turn out any different then what they would be being raised by you. But there is a high chance they will have a ton of trust and abandonment issues. Just ask all the adoptees on yahoo.

If you still go with adoption beware that there is no such thing as an open adoption. The Adoptive parents can close the adoption and cut of contact to you at any point with out reason or even telling you. Open adoption agreements DO NOT hold up in court! So please educate yourself, research all of your resources and make a wise choice. Don’t let this haunt you for the rest of your life! Angela

By: gypsywinter

gypsywinter — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 17:12:58 +0000

Get an abortion! gypsywinter

By: Wife&MotherTo2

Wife&MotherTo2 — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 17:16:21 +0000

if you love your baby enough that you want to really make sure she/he has as good family than now is the best time, because you won’t be rushed into making a decision on the family, you’ll be able to look through the books and letters of prospective moms/dads without feeling rushed. I think it would be the responsible thing to do. Don’t listen to the people who are venting on you, I am sorry this happens. Good luck to you. Wife&MotherTo2