Why does everyone recommend adoption when you want a baby, if it is such an expensive and tedious process?
xo asked:
Plus I would love to see myself in my child a bit selfish but hey who doesn’t? I would adopt if the process was easier ):
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Plus I would love to see myself in my child a bit selfish but hey who doesn’t? I would adopt if the process was easier ):
November 26th, 2009 at 11:49 am
I would think that the tedium and expense are among the ways adoption agencies weed out those who cannot deal with the real world of raising kids, which involves a lot of tedium and expense.
I’ve probably read certain books aloud several hundred times apiece, and don’t start me on what private collage cost us… akaMaryn
November 29th, 2009 at 3:06 am
because some people think its selfish to bring a new life into the world when there are so many women out there that are pregnant and dont want their babys. im not against adoption but i think its just kind of rude to tell someone they should just adopt if they dont want to, not try to have a biological child.
doesnt make sense to me, i would like to birth my own babies. if someone suggested that i adopt i would seriously just say “why?” ARMY*WIFE[boo hiss]
December 1st, 2009 at 7:35 am
I think some people believe that it is worth any amount of time, energy and money to save some poor child from being a prom night dumpster baby…
Mostly people are willing to shell out the money and make the effort because they truly want to adopt, for whatever reason. People love to put in their two cents and the vast majority of people have zero clue when it comes to adoption, all they know are the stereotypes and myths so they spew out garbage and preach about how wonderful adoption is. Abandoned Abandoner
December 4th, 2009 at 4:06 am
I believe it’s only expensive/tedious if you use a private agency and/or want a newborn. We adopted a brother/sister from the foster system several years ago and all expenses were paid by the state. We are in the process of adopting their two half-sisters (also out of foster) and it should work the same. Ages of first two at placement (almost 3 & 15 months) and ages of these two at placement last week 3 & 4. I’m sure if I was looking for a newborn or whatnot it would be different, because then….. you’re shopping. Kelela
December 7th, 2009 at 6:27 am
Adoption does not have to be expensive. If one adopts the baby’s children, teens that truly need to be adopted and that is the ones in the state foster care system then it is not costly and in some cases it is free. It’s the people who only want a womb fresh infant or who go abroad to adopt where it becomes costly. Either way one goes there will be some tedious paper work that just the way it goes. In some cases when a couple has fertility issues that process can be just as tedious and expensive as adoption except with that there is no guarantee that that a child will result. Even in a “failed” adoption the couple/person will have the chance to be rematched with a child(ren) or expecting mother.
Someone certainly shouldn’t tell someone to adopt and not have natural children or even the other way around tell someone to have natural children when they want to adopt. Adoption is an option for some people on how they want to or can build their families. For some going through that tedious process and even costly process (in some adoptions) is well worth it for the couple. Just like there are some people who have spent thousands and thousands of dollars for fertility treatments in some cases for years and to them its worth it in the end if a baby results. I have heard of people putting their homes/savings account up just so they could afford more fertility treatments with the hope that this round will result in a pregnancy. Commercials are Brainwashing
December 7th, 2009 at 6:22 pm
That’s because the people who have never actually been through the adoption process have no clue. It’s just easy to put forth your politics without actual knowledge.
My relative adopted a child (final last year) at no cost. The state also paid for the medical bills as a result of her heart surgery. She was 7 years old and adoptable since birth, but nobody wanted to take on a child who might die. Now she’s a happy, playful and healthy 8 year old. Doodlestuff
December 9th, 2009 at 5:53 am
People may want to adopt for many reasons. Some can’t have children and what a blessing to be able to take a child that has no home and give it life. Id rather see babies adopted then being killed. It takes a special family to adopt kids due to everything that comes along with it like money in raising the child and anythings mentally the child my go through knowing they were not wanted. It’s a huge step. essence004
December 10th, 2009 at 1:51 am
Well, it certainly doesn’t have to be expensive and tedious. We’ve adopted two infants (8 months old and 4 days old). The first was international and cost us $800 US and 6 weeks time. The second was through domestic foster care and cost nothing and took 6 months for placement and another 6 months for the adoption to be finalized. There are plenty of legal ways if people want to take the time to explore. Randy B
December 13th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
For many reasons. 1) most people know little to nothing about adoption and all the stresses and particular circumstances that arise with it. They say, oh, just adopt. As if saying, oh, just take a pottery class. 2) humanitarianism is all the rage right now. Angie did it. Madonna did it. It’s vogue to “rescue” a child from a “3rd world country”. Go volunteer at an animal shelter if you so feel the urge to rescue something. 3) they don’t realize just how expensive and tedious adoption can be. This goes back to no. 1 really. People just don’t know. We’re adopting through foster care which is relatively costless. However, we may adopt a child with medical needs, with psychological/emotional/mental needs, a child who needs specialized therapy due to their past. It can take quite a hit on both your purse and patience.
Adoption *should* be tedious and expensive. You aren’t deciding on which new pair of shoes to buy. You are deciding to bring a human being into your life, family and home. It’s not something to be taken lightly or rushed. But to specifically answer your question, I’ve never been suggested adoption. It was something we decided on our own. Human beings have a natural instinct to reproduce. Most people who decide to parent don’t immediately jump to adoption; they try the old fashioned way first. cottonlily84
December 16th, 2009 at 10:44 am
Well…it’s worth it if you are doing it ethically and for the right reasons. To be part of a child’s life and upbringing is pretty priceless and just a spec in time in my view.
We we are getting in return is infinitely more valuable.
For the record: The process with our son was about 5K and the wait was less than a month between profile submission and bringing him home.
I am told that having your own biological child is like nothing else and I will trust that. I don’t think you’re selfish for that…I’m sure it’s very natural for most. But for me…I just don’t get the big deal in being able to conceive and birth a child. I will concede that if we had waited longer…I would probably feel differently. But things happen for a reason. And some DNA just shouldn’t be passed on…’nuff said. Ferbs
December 18th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
Have you considered becoming a foster parent? Many children in the USA are in foster care and in need of a permanent home as they cannot return to live with their parents. The adoption regulations for foster parents who want to adopt are less stringent than laws for international adoption (to include income requirements). Like many other responses have said, the government agency that places the child in your home pays for the adoption in many instances, so it won’t cost you anything. The process of adoption is not tedious- it’s necessary! No one wants to be on the news because the adopted parents are worse than the birth parents they were removed from.
You should contact your local Department of Child Welfare Services with your state or county and ask about becoming a foster parent. A loving child is waiting for you! nitalong
December 19th, 2009 at 5:36 am
Adoption is wonderful if you are loaded. Most of us cannot afford it, but could afford to raise the child. It’s nearly impossible to come up with that kind of money, even in separate payments. You either go out begging others to donate to your cause, or you go in debt to make it possible. If your like me, and you are already a stay at home mom, and want to be there for the baby, well then you probably cannot afford the adoption fee, or be able to fly somewhere and leave the children you already have. The U.S. foster care system is a nightmare thanks to how they damage the children after taking most of them from homes they shouldn’t have. Then they don’t care where they place them after wards, which is usually with worse people.
As for wanting one of your own that looks like you, this is normal, no reason to think it is selfish. God put this desire in us. my2cents
December 19th, 2009 at 7:26 pm
IT’S NOT EXPENSIVE UNLESS YOU ARE LIKE MADONNA & ANGELINA JOLIE WHO ADDOPT FROM OVER SEAS!!! LIKE TGE CHILDREN ARE PIECES OF CLOTHING
TRY ADOPTING AMERICAN KIDS WHO NEED GOID HOMES FOR FREE!!!
GOOD LUCK
NiKki