Comments on: Why does everyone recommend adoption when you want a baby, if it is such an expensive and tedious process?

By: NiKki

NiKki — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 00:26:25 +0000

IT’S NOT EXPENSIVE UNLESS YOU ARE LIKE MADONNA & ANGELINA JOLIE WHO ADDOPT FROM OVER SEAS!!! LIKE TGE CHILDREN ARE PIECES OF CLOTHING

TRY ADOPTING AMERICAN KIDS WHO NEED GOID HOMES FOR FREE!!!

GOOD LUCK NiKki

By: my2cents

my2cents — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 10:36:13 +0000

Adoption is wonderful if you are loaded. Most of us cannot afford it, but could afford to raise the child. It’s nearly impossible to come up with that kind of money, even in separate payments. You either go out begging others to donate to your cause, or you go in debt to make it possible. If your like me, and you are already a stay at home mom, and want to be there for the baby, well then you probably cannot afford the adoption fee, or be able to fly somewhere and leave the children you already have. The U.S. foster care system is a nightmare thanks to how they damage the children after taking most of them from homes they shouldn’t have. Then they don’t care where they place them after wards, which is usually with worse people.

As for wanting one of your own that looks like you, this is normal, no reason to think it is selfish. God put this desire in us. my2cents

By: nitalong

nitalong — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 22:07:33 +0000

Have you considered becoming a foster parent? Many children in the USA are in foster care and in need of a permanent home as they cannot return to live with their parents. The adoption regulations for foster parents who want to adopt are less stringent than laws for international adoption (to include income requirements). Like many other responses have said, the government agency that places the child in your home pays for the adoption in many instances, so it won’t cost you anything. The process of adoption is not tedious- it’s necessary! No one wants to be on the news because the adopted parents are worse than the birth parents they were removed from.

You should contact your local Department of Child Welfare Services with your state or county and ask about becoming a foster parent. A loving child is waiting for you! nitalong

By: Ferbs

Ferbs — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 15:44:33 +0000

Well…it’s worth it if you are doing it ethically and for the right reasons. To be part of a child’s life and upbringing is pretty priceless and just a spec in time in my view.

We we are getting in return is infinitely more valuable.

For the record: The process with our son was about 5K and the wait was less than a month between profile submission and bringing him home.

I am told that having your own biological child is like nothing else and I will trust that. I don’t think you’re selfish for that…I’m sure it’s very natural for most. But for me…I just don’t get the big deal in being able to conceive and birth a child. I will concede that if we had waited longer…I would probably feel differently. But things happen for a reason. And some DNA just shouldn’t be passed on…’nuff said. Ferbs

By: cottonlily84

cottonlily84 — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 18:32:28 +0000

For many reasons. 1) most people know little to nothing about adoption and all the stresses and particular circumstances that arise with it. They say, oh, just adopt. As if saying, oh, just take a pottery class. 2) humanitarianism is all the rage right now. Angie did it. Madonna did it. It’s vogue to “rescue” a child from a “3rd world country”. Go volunteer at an animal shelter if you so feel the urge to rescue something. 3) they don’t realize just how expensive and tedious adoption can be. This goes back to no. 1 really. People just don’t know. We’re adopting through foster care which is relatively costless. However, we may adopt a child with medical needs, with psychological/emotional/mental needs, a child who needs specialized therapy due to their past. It can take quite a hit on both your purse and patience.

Adoption *should* be tedious and expensive. You aren’t deciding on which new pair of shoes to buy. You are deciding to bring a human being into your life, family and home. It’s not something to be taken lightly or rushed. But to specifically answer your question, I’ve never been suggested adoption. It was something we decided on our own. Human beings have a natural instinct to reproduce. Most people who decide to parent don’t immediately jump to adoption; they try the old fashioned way first. cottonlily84

By: Randy B

Randy B — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 06:51:21 +0000

Well, it certainly doesn’t have to be expensive and tedious. We’ve adopted two infants (8 months old and 4 days old). The first was international and cost us $800 US and 6 weeks time. The second was through domestic foster care and cost nothing and took 6 months for placement and another 6 months for the adoption to be finalized. There are plenty of legal ways if people want to take the time to explore. Randy B

By: essence004

essence004 — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 10:53:09 +0000

People may want to adopt for many reasons. Some can’t have children and what a blessing to be able to take a child that has no home and give it life. Id rather see babies adopted then being killed. It takes a special family to adopt kids due to everything that comes along with it like money in raising the child and anythings mentally the child my go through knowing they were not wanted. It’s a huge step. essence004

By: Doodlestuff

Doodlestuff — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 23:22:41 +0000

That’s because the people who have never actually been through the adoption process have no clue. It’s just easy to put forth your politics without actual knowledge.

My relative adopted a child (final last year) at no cost. The state also paid for the medical bills as a result of her heart surgery. She was 7 years old and adoptable since birth, but nobody wanted to take on a child who might die. Now she’s a happy, playful and healthy 8 year old. Doodlestuff

By: Commercials are Brainwashing

Commercials are Brainwashing — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 11:27:57 +0000

Adoption does not have to be expensive. If one adopts the baby’s children, teens that truly need to be adopted and that is the ones in the state foster care system then it is not costly and in some cases it is free. It’s the people who only want a womb fresh infant or who go abroad to adopt where it becomes costly. Either way one goes there will be some tedious paper work that just the way it goes. In some cases when a couple has fertility issues that process can be just as tedious and expensive as adoption except with that there is no guarantee that that a child will result. Even in a “failed” adoption the couple/person will have the chance to be rematched with a child(ren) or expecting mother.

Someone certainly shouldn’t tell someone to adopt and not have natural children or even the other way around tell someone to have natural children when they want to adopt. Adoption is an option for some people on how they want to or can build their families. For some going through that tedious process and even costly process (in some adoptions) is well worth it for the couple. Just like there are some people who have spent thousands and thousands of dollars for fertility treatments in some cases for years and to them its worth it in the end if a baby results. I have heard of people putting their homes/savings account up just so they could afford more fertility treatments with the hope that this round will result in a pregnancy. Commercials are Brainwashing

By: Kelela

Kelela — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 09:06:31 +0000

I believe it’s only expensive/tedious if you use a private agency and/or want a newborn. We adopted a brother/sister from the foster system several years ago and all expenses were paid by the state. We are in the process of adopting their two half-sisters (also out of foster) and it should work the same. Ages of first two at placement (almost 3 & 15 months) and ages of these two at placement last week 3 & 4. I’m sure if I was looking for a newborn or whatnot it would be different, because then….. you’re shopping. Kelela